


Arrivals

by StorgeAgape



Series: Canoning OBPI characters [1]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Disability, F/M, Gen, Multi, OBPI, OC Sam - Freeform, Post-Troubled, spoonie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 80,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorgeAgape/pseuds/StorgeAgape
Summary: Since I hope to get a canon OBPI character one day to educate more about disabilities / spoonies / invisible disabilities.I will canon some characters (those using fingerless gloves regularly) as such. I am open to expand that serie of fics to characters from other fandoms which meet that headcanon.That fic will be an approach to Post-Troubled Haven and Nathan’s relationship development with Paige and James. Paige is OBPI, I decided to hint it clear, (although the choice to how much she discloses about is hers).  It will be a bit of a role reversal of self acceptance for her.Note: every OBPI is different.Enjoy baby James the cuteness.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Accidental arrival.

He not just notices her resemblance, although her hair is not blonde and she is wearing a beanie and those fingerless gloves. He tries to help, and she not seems to mind his slight awkwardness, actually she seems quite patient. When he accidentally hits his finger with the car’s door and he actually feels the pain, she flinches, approaching her hands towards her face, almost as to kiss her fingers, then extends her left hand, the right one still near her face, as if actually feeling the pain. He reads the gesture as just high empathy. Honestly he feels a bit dreamy, she seems so like her, but she can not be, both knew she would not be allowed to return this time. Paige quickly apologises and offers him to have breakfast. “Do you like pancakes?” “I love pancakes”.  
As her car not seems to work, they transfer her bags to his Bronco, James on his carrier at the back seat and them at the front. Fishing with Dwight might have to be for another day.

At the armory barn, Croatoan and Vincent are watching.  
“Mara paid for the possessive driven faults you made her do with the Troubles. You’ve done well sending her back one las time, finally as a human, finally with James. No matter where, she would find Nathan, and they will grow in love all over again.” Vincent comments.  
“Love grows, love not possesses, love sets free, got it. But as a random human, won’t she have to face more risks?” Croatoan asks.  
“She is strongly full of love to face whatever is ahead. Actually, haven’t you noticed?”  
“What should I notice?”  
“Well, you will see eventually. She is very like any random one among a thousand humans now”.

Last thing Gloria told Nathan before he was going fishing with Dwight but got interrupted by the broken car, was to go to her if he’d need Duke. And if Duke were to be yet alive, would he not tell him about Paige early on? Plus offering to have pancakes at his home would be too forward, right? And sooner or later town will know about her, so might be better to be upfront. She looks at the radio dial.

“I normally have it at the station, but you can check around if you’d like some another” Nathan offers.  
“Oh, thanks. Are you off for the day? I would not like to enterntain you from your duties” Paige replies.  
“Day off actually, I was on the way fishing with a friend. But pancakes sound good.” he quickly glances at her warmly “Are you passing by town?” he asks.  
“I got accepted as Literature teacher in the school actually. I am moving early to settle. I will have to find a sitter or daycare for James. At least contract came with a hime leasing for the school year and covered most of the U-Haul before I’d arrive” she explains gesturing quite with her hands quite a lot, even turning to glance at James.  
“Sounds perfect” he sounds happy, she notices and looks curiously “Is always nice to have new people here. If you need any help don’t hesitate to say so”  
James is getting fussy in the back seat.  
“We are arriving” Nathan tries to soothe him, which earns a curious smile from Paige that he not seems to notice.

They arrive at Tree Gull. Nathan gently opens her car door, then James’. She seems a bit hesitant on what to hold first, the carrier or the baby bag, so Nathan quickly gives her an offering help look, which she nods to, and holds the baby bag, she picks James’ carrier. He is getting bigger and heavier. They get in the bar. There are few people in. Gloria who was playing with her grandson, Aaron, is the first to see them. She quickly notices her resemblance, offering Nathan a knowing warm smile and nod.  
Paige places James’ carrier on the chair by her left side. Nathan places the baby bag on the table and holds the chair politely for her to sit.

“Thank you” he looks amused by her politeness and nods at her.  
“Would you feed him first or I order the pancakes already?”  
“He goes first, if you don’t mind. It won’t take long” she replies removing her gloves, resting one by her side on the table and the other to her trouser’s pocket. She is feeling a bit self conscious, eating in public does that to her at times, specially at new places or with new company. She keeps herself occupied getting a homemade prepared carrot puree packed meal out of the bag for James. She can’t seem to find the spoon. “Knife?” she whispers to herself. Nathan noticed and went to the bar for a small spoon for James which he politely offers to her.  
“Thank you” she replies again smiling as she gets the meal ready.  
“Carrots are yummy, right buddy?” Nathan tells James, who waves his arms excitedly.  
Paige feeds James on his carrier. The whole scene brings warm memories that he thought long forgotten for Nathan who pretends to be occupied reading an sms which actually just arrived from a couple friends, and got her interest, and later the menu chart on the table. Nathan not seem to notice her pronated elbow yet, not glances, nor comments about, which Paige is thankful for. James smiles happily at eveey spoon, looking at both of them. Mid meal gone Nathan makes happily sympathetic faces at James.  
“Tastes good, kid? Yes it does” Nathan self replies nodding, which James mimics, then shouts happily.  
“Wow, I know I am a great cook but that feedback is a bit over the top, James”.  
James looks a cute mixture of confused and serious at her. Nathan gives him a pouty face which James mimics again.  
“Are you teaching him to make faces now?” Paige says sarcastically, which Nathan doubtfully reads as angry. That freezes him, maybe he has overstepped. He goes to apologise but she interrumpts him.  
“Is ok, I was joking” she replies to Nathan, then turns to James.   
“Very well, all done big boy” she says showing him the empty portable dish, placing it back closed on the pack in the bag, and cleansing his mouth with a kleenex, then claps, which James mimics adding a happy grin showing his new teeth.  
“Ready for pancakes” Paige tells Nathan looking at him with a quiet smile.  
“Perfect. 4 pieces?” He offers and she nods. “Which flavour would you like for yours?”  
“Berries?” She says more matter of fact than doubtful.

While he orders she plays with James and his teddy. Hopefully he will fall asleep soon and won’t be fussy getting home. Teething makes him fussy lately.  
Nathan returns with their plates and cutlery, places them on each side and goes back to bring the berry can. She quickly inspects the knife’s blade and hold feel, which he notices as he places the can.  
“Blueberry, Raspberry” he blows one looking at James, making him giggle “blackberry, strawberry”. She looks at him warmly.  
Each go to their meal. Both go for the same berry at the same time. Their fingers touch and the spark feel makes him blush, bringimg up memories.   
“Sorry” she apologises.  
“No, is ok. Go ahead, I’ll wait” Nathan resolves.  
James is trying to get their attention, so Nathan play pretend to pick his teddy, making him giggle again. That sounds so lovely.  
“You’ll have yours cold” she warns, and he gives a confused look suddenly looking at her, which James find so funny and giggles and shouts again.  
“What is so funny James?” she asks and looks upfront trying to find what is amusing him. She briefly blushes at Nathan’s expression, looks down and upfront again.  
“Are you making him faces?” Paige curiously asks Nathan, fork-picking a piece of fruit that goes with the meal.  
“No, right kid?” says Nathan comically gesturing James to be quiet by placing index on his lips on a ‘shh’ gesture, which makes James gigle again. Then Paige stares at Nathan a mixed inquiry expression. “I won’t make faces” Nathan concedes with a pouty face at James. Is he joking sarcatically? He is. Paige can’t help but be amused too.

She goes to cut her pancakes, but knife is not sharp enough for her pressure strenght and rotation skills to cut them all, so it gets stuck mid task. She considers to order an empty plate and cut piece by piece, but decides not to. Nathan notices and wonders if offering another sharper cutlery. She quickly looks at him. She looks distressed but gives a second try, which fails again. “Do I get you a sharper knife?” He offers politely. She denies with her head, third try and fails again. He places his hands near her plate, which makes her still her movements and look up.  
“Relax, is ok. Do I cut yours?” he offers with a warm smile. She looks doubtful, feels a bit overwhelmed, but nods, dreading the following conversation that sure will follow afterwards. Great start Paige, she thinks to herself. He cuts her pancake in bite sizes.  
“Thank you” she shily whispers.  
“No problem” he offers warmly.  
She quickly looks at James, at least he is relaxed enough to had fallen asleep. He has noticed, she does not know how to follow the conversation and a quiet silence settle between them.  
“You like yours?” Nathan friendly asks, looking at the berries. She looks up and his friendly expression calms her.  
“Yes, thanks. I just needed one, but is kind of you to display an array to pick from” he nods as a reply.  
As she finishes, she wears the glove back on her right hand. He looks at the gesture, still not asks but she knows he is wondering about it. Has she already said how she not likes to eat in public, specially with new people or in new places, because it draws the attention to her hand? She glances at her pronated elbow self consciousness kicks in full force, she quickly approaches it closer to her torso. She knows is more noticeable when she eats or holds an horizontal surface. He reads her gesture as a cold shiver.  
“Are you feeling cold?” He asks concerned.  
“No. Is just ...” she quickly considers being upfront and technical “an old injury”. she finally answers, considering it is too soon to disclose such personal information in detail. Oh, she will regret saying that, now will come the ‘well-aimed’ yet intrusive questions which will lead to technically and detailed answer that able-bodied people not understand, and will treat her differently. She dreads that about having an invisible disability.   
“Ah, ok. Yes, weather affects old injuries” he says glancing at the window “Hopefully it will get warmer soon” he offers warmly. She is surprised he has not asked further.  
“Yes, um, I would not like to retain you much longer, you had plans” she remind him.  
“Is ok. I can drive you both to your place before I go fishing, if that’s ok” he offers and after glancing at sleepy James she nods accepting the offer.

He picks the baby bag again, and she holds the carrier. Both go to the bar to pay their order, but before they can politely argue about who invites each other, Nora clarifies.  
“Is on the house”   
Nathan looks at Gloria which has an amused smile. She had seen their interaction all along, mentally takes note to revise the cutlery sharpness.  
“You will not make much profit that way” Nathan jokingly tells Gloria as they approach her.  
“My way to welcome Aaron’s new friend” she says gesturing at her grandson.  
“Oh, is yours?” Paige asks curious and smiling at the kid.  
“Well, I retain my spiritual beauty but I am not actually that young. He is my orphan grandson” Gloria explains as Paige was visually looking for the parents.  
“I am so sorry. He is so young still” Paige offers comfortingly resting her hand on Gloria’s forearm.  
“Thank you. We are a taugh town, you’ll notice, if you are not a passer by, but we are also kind and warm welcomers” she says with a smile.  
“Actually I am the new school teacher, for this school year at least. My car broke and he helped me out” Paige says gesturing at Nathan.  
“Ah, you already met Haven’s finest. You’ll get along very well. He has such a vibe with babies. By the way, if you need a sitter or daycare for the little one, I can advice you the best one in town too” Gloria said with a knowing smile, quickly noticing the parallels. Which makes Nathan blush. Paige not seems to notice, or so he thinks but she saw and had a small smile.  
“Thank you, you are very kind” Paige says to Gloria, bringing the carrier closer to herself, holding for too long.  
“Oh, I am not even half like the town’s kindest” says Gloria glancing warmly and nodding at Nathan. If Paige had not noticed before, now that she looks back at him, he is clearly blushing, and a bit confused, not as much as he used to but still those sudden compliments are overwhelming.  
“See you around Gloria” Nathan offers, and the three leave towards the car. James and bag at the back. He gives her a calmed smile.

“So, where to?” he asks. She tells him the address. Turns out is npt too far from Nathan’s. He stops the car at her door. James yet asleep.   
“Thank you” she says and he looks amused at her politeness.  
“You are welcome. Your class will be the most polite.” He glances at a few bags “Few bags for a year stay” he comments.  
“I had the rest delivered and mostly assambled before arrival” she explains, he nods and gets out the car, again holds the door for her. He carries the bag, her the carrier to her door. She opens the door and enters. After she gently lays James in his portable crib in the living room she goes back at the door a bit confused. Nathan had placed the few other bags she brought on the left side of her door entry.  
“You are not a vampyre, are you?” She jokes, and he looks confused “vampyres not get in a house unless they are invited. I thought you were walking after me” she explains, and he still looks confused “nevermind”. They get the bags in.  
“Anyways, thanks a lot, Haven’s kindest” she pronounces the last word in a particularly amused voice. “Pleasure meeting you, I hope you can still enjoy some fishing with your friend”.  
“Yes, I will. Pleasure meetimg you too, Paige” she says offering a hand shakes, which she softly does.   
“See you around” she says before getting in the house.  
He gets back to the Bronco and needs few minutes to emotionally process all that has happened. He rubs his hands testing reality. She is back, other personality, but she is, with James, the son he never had the chance to see grow up. Before turning on the engine to leave, he glances at the front window and there she is moving around with James holding at her side. Seems he awoke.

He finally gets to the fishing spot. Maybe Dwight has left. But he sees the three playing lava.  
“Nathan!” Lizzie says happily, running to hug him.  
“Hey, I thought town got you busy” Dwight comments quickly greeting him with a high five.  
“Actually I met someone new” he says the last word with an emphasis, which makes them look at him quizzically, does he suddenly looks younger? “I was driving out town, and someone with a baby, had a broken car, needed a drive to town. We had pancakes”   
Nathan amusedly watch at their realisation, while they connect the dots.  
“Is she?” Dwight almost whispers. Nathan nods.  
“And he is?” Sam asks amused. Nathan nods enthusiastically, almost teary eyed.  
“She is back” Dwight congrats him.  
“She not remembers, has another personality, Paige” Nathan clarifies, always the rational.  
“Things will find a way, always do” Sam enthusiastically says.  
They spend the rest of the day fishing in quiet conversation and snacking fruit salad that Sam prepared. Nathan tries to not overthink, how it is possible that she returned. She has quickly reminded him of both Audrey and Sarah. He guesses the self consciousness and self awareness is properly Paige. And what about her old injury? None other her prior personalities had one. Maybe is just this time she is finally a random human and will even age. They can grow old together, and raise James, together, finally. Wait a minute Nathan, aren’t you thinking too far ahead? She just returned.


	2. Ch2 - Wind chimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is curious about the cutlery: https://www.essentialaids.com/kitchen-aids-feeding-aids/adapted-cutlery.html  
> In the next chapter it will be more information about her disability/injury. So far in that one spoonies are explained.

Haven, 14 january 2012

Paige got her car repaired (there go a good portion of her savings) to can move around in the city. She had attended the school board meeting already, although new semester starts yet early february, but she likes to plan ahead when possible. She has not found yet a daycare for James, she got a sitter for the meeting hours instead. Among her errands in the city were several visits to the hardware store to get the materials needed to change the home’s round doorknobs to door handles herself, which are a lot more friendly with her disability. They got a routine of a daily stroll to the park where they had befriended some kids around his age and their parents, but also she enjoys a nice reading in the backyard while James plays in his portable hammock. He likes to see the birds fly around, specially during sunset. She may get into some gardening. And of course gets the time for grocery shopping. She has to plan ahead the weight of each bag or she could not carry them to home without risking something falls off or worst trying to save the hit she overstretches her shoulder and micro injuries.

“Let’s get you some of your favourite vegetables, James” she tells him, while pushing the cart where he sat and plays with his teddy. 

She not seems to pay much attention about who else is there. She knows few people yet, teachers mostly. Of course she is friendly to greet back any passer by. They are running out of flour so she looks for that ingredient in the possible sections. Seems to her is not only that welcomer officer who likes them. She expected to find two types, but no, there are 5. 

“Which one would taste better with berries, James?” She asks him, and he suddenly grins and waves his hands, his teddy falling to the floor. “Why all that sudden enthusiasm James?” she wonders going to pick the teddy from the floor when suddenly another hand approaches, and looks, familiar? She freezes, the hand picks the teddy, both stand up again and finally they look front to front. 

“Hi, again, Paige” he says friendly giving her back the teddy. James shouts happily which seems to zone her back.  
“Hi, Officer” she says, he smiles. “Fishing went well?” she asks. He is a bit surprised she remembered, although it’s been just a week ago.  
“Yes, it was relaxing. We had cookies, fruit salad, got 3 pieces, one each” he answers.  
“Sounds good” she answers and quickly goes back to pick a flour pack.  
“That one is better if you want a lighter consistency.” he begins to explain the wonders of each flour type. He really likes that meal she notices.   
“Well, really I am just looking for one that goes better with berries. Among your expertise, which one you’d advice?” she asks him playfully. He briefly ponders which makes James grin and wave his arms around.   
“I’d say that one. Both fresh berries or jam.” He passes her the pack box. She nods. James shouts again, and there’s another shout answering James back. Paige looks confused.  
“Such a nice coincidence. Aaron say hi to your friend” says Gloria.  
“We were shopping” Paige quickly explains nodding at James.  
“I see, as are all we. Thankfully for day off to can run errands, right? At leasts things are a lot more calm in my department” Gloria says noticing she might had said too much judging by Paige’s curious pondering face.   
“Um, thank you, once again, Officer” Paige tells him.  
“You can call me Nathan. I’m off duty” he offers, she nods.  
“By the way, would you mind to stop by at the Tree Gull? I’d like to consult you about something” Gloria tells Paige.  
“Consult? Me? I’m a literature teacher, I don’t know ...” Paige asks confused.  
“Would you do me the favour of coming over an hour before dinner, please?” Gloria continues. Paige looks confused.  
“O ... k.” she offers sounding yet confused.   
“Thank you dear, well I leave you two back to shopping” Gloria replies before moving to leave.   
“Can you make it later? You can bring James, he liked it there, right kid?” Nathan asks her waving at James who grins happily. She not replies yet. “If you not have a car yet I can drive you both, if you want” Nathan offers while glanced at the cart, then at her face looking for some answer.  
“No, is ok. Car is fixed. Is just task should be moved for tomorrow, and I might be spoonless then” she comments.  
“Spoonless?” he asks her confused.  
“Run out of spoons to function. Don’t worry, I’ll be there” she quickly answers “see you around, Nathan” she offers him a hand shake, which he squeezes gently. She looks at him, smiles and leaves to continue her shopping with James. It seems to Nathan as she was confused. He wonders what spoons does she needs? He quickly texts Gloria about it.

Placing the bags in the car takes a while, she notices a car parking near with noticeable music on. Out of the car get a tall muscled and bearded man and a blue eyed kid. They are chatting. Paige is sure she heard them say Nathan, aswell as Nora, the bartender, Sam and Vickie. That popular is he? When she thinks they had left they get back to the car to open the trunk.   
“It should fit. Is the exact size” is that voice? Is Nathan.   
“Thank you, you knew Lizzie wanted that exact design. Very nice of you to tell us it went on discount.” The muscled man amicably palms his shoulder. Footsteps, he is approaching. Be cool Paige. Nathan helps them fit the desk assamble kit in the trunk.  
“No problem. I accept cookie bribing” Nathan jokes with Lizzie, who hugs him. Ah ok, the kid’s name is Lizzie. Paige, the shopping, you have fresh food there, remember? And a sudden shout surprises her mid task.  
“James, we are getting home” Paige tries to calm him.  
“Hi again, kid. Helping your mom already?” Nathan comments friendly. He looks at her and the cart and offers to help her, she nods and he picks two bags.  
“Cold goes the other way” she explains him. They nod at each other. The muscled and the kid left.  
“Glad to know your car got fixed that soon. They use to take a bit longer” Nathan comments.  
“Well, it took me a good bite off my savings, but I’ll manage. Thank you, but I should get going” Paige quickly says. Nathan is confused.

Later, around the time Gloria invited her to the Tree Gull, Paige is yet busy changing one of the doorknobs into handler. She won’t get that one on time. Thankfully James ate early, is not sunset yet.

“I have them all ready, don’t worry. She just has to show up. I wasn’t too forward, was I?” Gloria wonders.  
“You were yourself” Nathan adds.  
“That is not clarifying” Nora continues, which earns her a look from her boss.  
“Are you nervous or something? We got the spoons too, if she needs them” Gloria tells Nathan.  
“No is fine. I just hope she not thinks is too forward or intrusive. We just want she feels comfortable. It was your idea” Nathan says, Gloria senses him hesitant so caress his palm for comfort.  
“It will be fine. After all you’ve both been through. If is there any remains of Audrey in her” Gloria offers.  
“That is the thing. She was not suppoused to be back. But can you tell me is not her? She is human now, finally, but probably don’t remember anything” Nathan explains.  
“Well, she found you again, she always does. Even if she not ever remembers, at least she is not like Lexie was. So what are you afraid of? You know Audrey loves you” Gloria reasons him.  
“I am not afraid. Is just, what if she never remembers? I’ll have to tell her about what happened, and Audrey got it, got the Troubles, she stayed. She understood” Nathan tries to reason sounding hesitant to himself.  
“Even if that were the case, do you think Paige would not understand? James grins at you every time he sees you around. What do you think that says to a mother?” Gloria reasons him. Before he could reply enters both Paige and James.

“Sorry, I got a bit late. Door handlers kept me busy” Paige comments. Gloria looks at the entry ones from the table. “At home, some were round doorknobs and I replaced them to handlers. So about what do you need to consult me? Hi, Officer” Paige says placing James carrier on the table and sitting in a chair Nathan had pulled for her, they nod.  
“Well, I hope is not intrusive for you, but I noticed at your arrival, that the knives we have were troublesome. So I ordered some new sets. I’d like your opinion on them, if you don’t mind. Is that ok?” Gloria delicately offers. Paige is surprised. That has never happened before, she does not know how to take that.  
“We just want you feel comfortable, so we thought to do some accomodation to what you may need” Nathan gently offers which seems to calm her doubts. Does she look emotional? She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and looks at both of them.   
“Ok” finally she replies. She seems a bit nervous rolling a napkin over and over while Gloria left for the utensils. Nathan looks at her and gives her a warm smile, she hids her hands under the table. He notices the fingerless gloves rest on the table. When Gloria returns with the materials, enter the tall muscled man and Lizzie, greeting Vickie that is taking care of Aaron, they met at the park few days ago. Still the two new people entering makes her feel a bit self conscious again, internalized ableism. Nathan softly squeezes her hand, which is warm, under the table as a comforting gesture. She looks up confused.  
“Is ok, he is Dwight, my fishing friend and his daughter Lizzie, they are friendly” Nathan offers. She nods.  
“A straight knife, a rocker knife, a spreader knife and a Nelson’s knife. Try them. Any meal you need to test them on are on the house. I leave you to it, if you need something let me know. Enjoy your meal”. Gloria quickly explains resting the cutlery on the table before going to greet Dwight. Nathan goes to leave out of politeness.  
“You can stay, if you want” Paige tells Nathan, moving forward, touching his hand to gently pull him back. That hand feels quite cold, he slightly shivers, she notices and sits back. He looks a bit confused, but not wants her to worry. So he sits back quite as the day they had pancakes. Nathan stay focused, he tells himself.   
“Well, I think a good meal to try them is some meat. A steak?” Nathan offers showing her the chart menu.  
“Yeah, sounds good.” she shily smiles.   
“Ok, I’ll order number 2. Good?” Nathan offers standing up. She nods and as he leaves James shouts and makes a pouty face. He is a quick learner.  
“He is coming back.” Paige tries to calm him. The shout and waving to Aaron and Nathan, got Lizzie’s attention. Who goes towards them.  
“Is yours? Are you the new teacher?” Lizzie asks Paige.  
“His name is James. I’m Paige, literature teacher” Paige explains with a smile, still a bit surprised that news travel that fast  
“Hi James. He is so cute” Lizzie waves him hi. He grins and offers her his teddy.   
“Is not near sunset yet, right?” Paige asks.  
“Not yet, why? I’m Dwight, by the way. Nathan’s friend” Dwight answers, offering her a quick hand shake, he got there after Lizzie. They quickly shook hands.  
“James likes to watch it and the birds flly. He ate before coming here, but in case he gets fussy, he is yet teething, and that calms him down” Paige explains.  
“We can show him the sea at the baranda, is that ok?” Dwight offers. Paige ponders, he never spoke to him before. But he is friend’s of Nathan, Haven’s kindest. Vickie has approached with Aaron in the stroller too.  
“Ok. It won’t take too long” Paige offers. Paige nods at Vickie to picks up James. James looks around a bit confused. Nathan and Paige nod at him, Nathan from the bar, Paige from the table. That sync not got unnoticied by anyone. Dwight goes to the stairs pushing Aaron in his stroller, Lizzie on one side, where Audrey used to live and where still is the wind chime, followed by Vickie with James held up, and the carrier by the other hand. Nathan returns to the table with the order.  
“Are you not going to eat something?” Paige asks him. He had not thought of that.  
“Um, I’ll order a fish meal. You can try mine too” he offers, she looks at him quizzical “To test the knives” he explains. She nods.  
He calls for Nora to approach and as she arrives he orders cod and vegetables. She tests the straight knife first. Not slices well. Then tries the rocker knife. Noticeably better with a lot less effort, they share a small smile. Then she tries the nelson knife. Definitelly the best for her. She leaves the straight one aside. Nora returns with the order and cheese cream and toasts to spread and passes her the spreader knife. Marvellous difference. She smiles happily to herself. Nathan had been waiting how to offer her to try his meal again, his meal still untouched.  
“You not like your order? Is going to get cold” Paige says.  
“Well, I did not know how to bring that up. But you owe me something” he says calmly, she looks at him confused. Don’t tell me he is not really a kind person? “I did yours, can you do mine this time?” he says nodding at the dish. Now she gets it.  
“Oh, sure” she happily slices the cod into bite portions.  
“Thanks a lot.” Nathan replies nodding. She smiles happily.   
Soon the meals are gone. She explains to Gloria which one was better, they share hugs and she goes out looking for James. Nathan guides her to the baranda. It brings him memories. There is the sunset and James is happily looking at it and the birds. He seem to had be friended Lizzie.  
“Hey, was it good?” Dwight ask them.  
“Perfect” Paige comments. She is looking at the sunset. There is a breeze and the wind chimer sound. And she remembers, a forward woman bringing cupcakes to who? She hears them exchange names. Audrey and Julia. Nathan has picked James from Vickie’s hold and approaches to pass him to Paige, his hand rests next to her. Their side palms touch, she slightly shivers and zones back.  
“I can drive you both back to your place. Is getting late to return walking, it will get cold” Nathan tells her. She looks shocked. “Are you ok?” He asks concerned.  
“Yeah, is just, you are right, is getting cold” Paige says focusing back. She holds James. They share goodbyes. They get in the Bronco. She is unusually silent. He wonders why and quickly thinks maybe they were too forward.

“Listen, if we had been too forward, I am sorry. I am honest on what I said, we just want you feel comfortable” Nathan begins to explain.   
“Is ok. That’s very kind of all of you. Is just. Had something happened in that baranda?”  
“Something like what?” Nathan asks confused.  
“I had a sensation when the wind chimer sounded. Who lives there?”   
“Lived a dear friend of all town who had to leave” he says as normal as he can.  
“I had the feeling ... there were two women, one blonde. The other brought her cupcakes. Two names. Julia and some other name. Had something happened to them?”   
“Julia is a doctor, she had been working abroad and is coming back in fact. The women that lived there and her were friends”  
“What’s the other women’s name?”   
“It was Audrey” Nathan says as they arrive at her home. James is sound sleep in his carrier. Nathan politely opens her door and accompanies her to her home door. 

“It’s been very thoughtful from all of you, really, that had never happened before, so thanks a lot” she says offering him a hand shake, which he squeezes, specially as he feels the hand cold. She notices which hand is and goes to pull back.  
“Is ok, there’s no problem” he softly says. She suddenly looks down and quickly looks up.   
“I should get going, James goes to sleep after sunset”   
“Nice kid.” Nathan offers. She opens the door and walks in talking “actually he has been fussy those days back, teething ...”   
After placing sleepy James on his portable crib, she returns to the door, and there is Nathan yet waiting.  
“There you are. I thought this time you would had followed, after all we sort of just shared a meal tonight. Well, not shared, but you did mine, I did yours, your words. Do you want to get cold talking outside?.” She says quite fast. Is she nervously rambling? Nathan wonders, why can she be nervous?  
“Ok, as you wish” he says as he walks in after she gestures for him to follow. She looks confused, because that is a quote from one of her favourite childhood movies.  
Finally both get in the living room. Everything is quite organized considering she just moved in a week ago.

“Um do you want some drink, snack?” She politely offers him.  
“I am alright, thanks. So, have you finished with the handlers?” Nathan asks noticing there is one yet to be changed.  
“Almost all. I was changing that one before getting there. I will continue some other day. I do not think I will have such spoons tomorrow” she explain while both sit on the couch.   
“Spoon?” Nathan asks confused, glancing towards where figures might be the kitchen.  
“Oh, haven’t you heard?” he denies with his head “Is a concept for chonically ill, mental ill and some disabled. Some of us feel like we have limited energy, like is a glass of water, some days we are low on spoons to be very active so we preserve our spoons if possible”.  
“Ah, good to know. Do you know starting the day if it will be a low spoon day?” He asks.   
“Not always.” she answers shortly, he nods. She is surprised he is not intrusive.  
“So are your friends, locals?” She asks him.  
“No, Dwight came here some time ago, but he is not local.” He notices a knitting kit and a crochet kit.   
“So, you like that?” He comments pointing at the sets.  
“I do the days I am on low spoons. Others I bake cakes, but I know you are the pancake expert here, after the grocery shopping I have no doubt about that.” she jokingly comments, which gets him to smile. “Those past days I had been quite good plus the handlers needed to be replaced and I did not want to contract someone to do that. I got a nice electrical screwdriver, is the lighter one, is quite silent too, but now he is asleep” she sounds proud of her accomplishements.  
“Congratulations, you’ve done a pretty good job” he smiles warmly. James seems to get fussy in his sleep. She picks him before he wakes. “Sorry” she excuses herself and goes upstairs with James. A few minutes later she returns. Nathan was trying the screwdrivers.

“Checking if I am as good an screwdriver expert as you are on pancakes?” she asks playfully.  
“Maybe. Is a good model. Question is if you know which one to advice for each case” he is joking back.  
“Well, so far that one is for what I needed. So do you do any craftwork?” she asks him.  
“I do decoupage. I am more an electronic expert. I used to repair devices with my friends as a teen” Nathan comments.  
“Interesting. I learnt home maintenance at that age. So, you are not as handy?” she jokes waving her cold hand.  
“Depends on what for” he replies and looks at her hand. “I lost the sense of feel for years as a kid. No hot, no cold, no pain, no touch. Did OT. Feeling got back, still I was diagnosed of having idiopathic neuropathy” he explains.  
“Smooth. You tell me yours, so I tell you mine?” she asks in a curious tone.  
“Maybe. But truth be told, you not have to disclose any specifics to me or anyone. Your privacy is yours to say or not about anything, to anyone. I was there too, I know every journey and pace is different. I finally feel fine talking about mine. True I not tell that just to anyone at random” Nathan clarifies.  
“You are a curious man” she comments “so, if I am low on spoons can I call you for help then?” Paige wonders aloud.  
“No problem.” he replies and they exchange phone numbers. She notices there is a labrador on the background of his phone.  
“Is my dog. I got him a month ago.” he mentions happily, although his eyes shows mixed emotions.  
“Looks quite cute” she comments noticing his cheerful tone.  
“He is a rescue dog. My friend Sam told me about him. They collaborate in animal protection, although they work in daycare. Do you want I refer them about James?” Nathan explain, he is quite talkative for had been stayed at the door twice.  
“I don’t want to imposse. Semester starts in a couple weeks yet.”  
“As you prefer. If you need anything or change your mind, text me” he says standing up. She looks confused. “Tomorrow is not day off, I work morning shift this week” he mentions.   
“Oh, ok. It’s been truly very nice all you’ve done today. Drive safely, Nathan” Nathan goes for a hug, she for a cheek to cheek goodbye. It makes both laugh, and both solve to hand shake again, but this time he places his other hand covering her palm, he went for her cold hand. She accompanies him to the door and watch him leave in the car, then she gets back home.


	3. Unexpected revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had documented quite a lot in the community and researched in the particulars on protocols in 2012, to be clear and educative on the medical part. Remind you every OBPI is different. I want to address obstetrical violence along that fic. I’ll explain later the difference between Erb’s palsy and Klumpke’s palsy.
> 
> Also remind you the fic is not only focused on that, is just part of her identity but is not all her story. There will be more police oriented chapters, as on upcoming chapter 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For further information about OBPI and OT/PT checkups, watch the two-parts documentary on youtube channel “Emily Langridge”. (“Part 1 - A journey through Erb’s palsy - a documentary on Obstetrical Brachial Plexus Nerve Damage”)  
> UBPN (United Brachial Plexus Network) is the association for the US, includes OBPI, and BPI (post-natal injured, eg. motorbike accident).

Arrivals 3 - Unexpected revelations

Julia arrived in Haven and soon got updated about how Troubledless life is. Gloria told her the DNA has no trace of Troubles, is no longer genetically hereditary. She also tells her about what happened to Audrey and about new in town Paige and her baby.  
Curiosity got the best of her, after some night texts she pays Nathan a visit the next morning.

Tuesday, 17 january 2012. 8 am  
After knocking on the door, barking answers Julia. For a moment she considers she has confused the house, that Nathan is not living again at Garland’s. As Nathan opens the door to welcome her in, while Julia gets in and Nathan closes the door, a woman with a stroller passes down that street. Nathan and Julia give each other a warm hug.   
“Gloria updated me yesterday. How are you holding up?” Julia asks him sitting on the couch, the dog soon sits next to her, and she pets him.  
“Well, as fine as I can. Is a tough month, you know.” He admits, soon is Elizabeth’s passing away anniversary, and he glances at her portrait on the wall.  
“Gloria told me about ... Paige? Is her or?” Julia asks between curious and hesitant.  
“As far as I know she not remembers, althought the other day driving her home she commented me she had a sort of flashback of you both by the wind chime.” Nathan comments her, he is rubbing his hands together, more out of nervousness than cold.  
“And she is with James, which is, yours? Are you going to tell her what happened?” She asks him, he nods at James, his eyes getting glassy.  
“I don’t know how to tell her yet. I feel like we’ll be too forward, it will be overwhelming. Probably we had already been. Maybe is best she remembers on her own, or maybe she is not suppoused to remember. I don’t know” Nathan comments.  
“If is her, she deserves to know. Are we sure she is finally just a random human? Will she have all her memories at some point?” Julia asks.  
“I don’t know, nor how to figure that out” Nathan comments. Both think how to approach main point. Nathan looks at his hands trying to not show he is nervous.  
“So, you are acquaintances already?” Julia carefully asks him.  
“Yes, I met her like I did with Audrey. We had pancakes.” Nathan says with a smile.  
“So, you think ...” she begins. He nods.   
“And what about you? Staying for good or just passing by?” Nathan asks.  
“I got the traumatologist position. In fact I am heading there in a bit. You are fine, no ideopathic neuropathy? Dylan Mann, my colleague can checkup.” Julia asks him.  
“Everything is fine, thanks.” Nathan says with a smile.  
“Glad to know. Well, it’s been nice catching up. Hope we can see each other more often” she stands and gives him a hug. “I know the way” and she leaves. 

9 am  
Paige had asked for her medical history to transfer to Haven so the new traumatologist had set an appointment. Paige goes with James, she will make an appointment for the pediatrician for his next vaccines too. She gets there early on. James is curious about everything around him.  
“Miss Cross?” the nurse calls for her. Paige follows her. “Doctor Carr will be here shorthly”  
Paige rests James’ carrier on the chair next to her. Soon enters the specialist.  
“Sorry for the short delay. Pleased to meet you Miss Cross” says Julia rushing to her seat, finally she looks up. “Aud ... oh Paige, right?”  
“Yes. I moved a couple weeks ago, I asked to transfer my medical history, hospital decided to set a checkup appointment. New patient and all”. Paige explains.  
“Standard protocol. So let’s check that your medical records are correct, shall we?” Paige nods while Julia looks at her folder. “So, you had shoulder dystorcia being delivered. Diagnosed Erb’s palsy. Affected brachial plexus nerve roots C5 and C6, both overstretched, affecting the shoulder blade and pronating the elbow. You had no surgery. Did OT and PT during your early childhood. Got a disability diagnosis of a 33%. Everything correct, or did we miss something?” Julia reads over her history.   
“Everything correct” Paige nods.  
“Were forceps involved? Had there been fetal suffering? Epilepsy? Neurology appointments? Brain scans? Any cognitive problem?” Julia asks her.  
“I think there were forceps. I had never had the full medical copy. As far as I know I had no cognitive problems. I think among all the tests they did run on me when I was a baby there was a brain scan and neurology visits, mostly to make sure everything was fine. Why?” Paige asks Julia a bit worried.  
“If forceps were used, there is a chance there was also fetal suffering, which can cause cerebral palsy affecting your neurological system. If they suspected you might had epilepsy they would follow the protocol that had been followed for fifty years of no Pertussis vaccination for your specific case to avoid seizures or convulsions. The protocol is being reconsidered since 2008. Did they advice you to not overheat to avoid a seizure? Prescripted anti-epilepsy medication any time?” Julia asks her.  
“I was baby I wouldn’t know. I think I am up to date with all my vaccination, I’ll check to make sure. I had never been told all my medical records before. James, my son had been given two shots of that already. My friend helped me those weeks. Does that mean for the next shot I am in any risk? Why nobody has told me any of that before?” Paige asks confused.  
“If there was no problem before, there should be no problem now. I am just making sure everything is ok. Do you mind we consult with the neurologist? To make sure. As you can understand, my folder has what previous specialists considered as related directly to OBPI’s physical trauma. It just says that brain scans were done, no info on the results” Julia tells her placing her hand on Paige’s arm for comfort.  
“Ok, ask them.” Paige finally says. Julia leaves the office for a few minutes. Julia returns with the neurologist.  
“This is Dylan Mann, is the neurologist”  
“I had researched your name on my database. The system found a brain scan. You agree we transfer the results from the hospital where it was done?” Dylan calmly tells to Paige, she nods.  
“Ok. The physical copy will be here by next monday. I’ll appoint you to talk about it.” Dylan explains.  
“But then what does that mean?” Paige asks.  
“Well, the records say, your OT also included early sensorial stimulation. You were prescripted phenobarbital during your first year. In the 80s it was used even on newborns with cases similar as yours to prevent epilepsy, later has been proven those patients were more prone to depression due to the chemical brain changes. That and if you were not vaccinated for Pertussis, which she told me you are not sure about. Well, those records hints the brain scan might had been positive on cerebral palsy” Dylan says.  
“Ok, so ... but what does it has to do with James’ vaccinations? He is updated with all them. He will have to skip that one now? He will be at risk because of me, because the consequences of how I was delivered? .” Paige asks confused, getting worried.  
“No, it not has to be. He’ll get his vaccine. We’ll take precautions. Is he already attending daycare? Can a friend help you take care of him next week?”  
“I was going to see that one later.” Paige says passing Julia a printed copy of the website main page. “I am just here since 2 weeks ago, I barely made any friend yet” Paige says yet worried. James is worrying to and making confused faces.  
“It’ll be fine. If there were no reaction before, it should be fine that third shot” Julia tells her and side hugs her for comfort. “Do you need chamomile tea to relax? Or we move the appointment for another day? I know there is information you not expected. Some patients did not find out they are OBPI until they are adults too. Nobody was clear about it with them, just generally said their arm was injured, but no further specifics.”  
“Tea sounds good. Sorry.” Paige finally says sitting back on the chair and yet confused.  
“I’ll go for the tea” Dylan offers before leaving.  
“It’ll be fine. Think, it’s always been there, you just didn’t knew. I know is big news. Take your time, try to not overthink. You are in good hands” Julia tries to relax her mind.  
“I know. Is just a bit shocking. No doctor told me that before” Paige says.  
“Some doctors reacted bad about their own medical malpractices, trying to cover their tracks. What happened is no doubt obstetrical violence. Forceps are forbidden decades ago. I have to check on that, but if the US has signed the obstetrical violence manifest, it turns it in a crime against humanity, which means the malpractice does not expires, so you could still sue the doctors or hospital involved if you want to, there are lawyers specialising on that” Julia explains her.  
“I don’t know. Would that fix anything?” Paige asks.  
“It can help prevent that to happen again” Julia tells her, they look at each other, Paige is teary eyed. Dylan gets in the room. Tea in hand.  
“Is not too hot, I had not sweetened it yet.” Dylan informs resting the cup on the desk. Paige holds it quietly, yet thinking.  
“Do you need some time alone, music?” Dylan offers.  
“No, is fine. Thanks a lot.” Paige says and sips the tea “Can we please continue the consult. OBPI only? I’ll make an appointment for your consult next monday, when the results arrive” Paige resolves.  
“Ok, I’ll see you” says Dylan before leaving.  
Julia and Paige share a look, Paige nods and Julia continues the consult.  
“Had any big injury later?” Julia asks her standing up and approaching her.  
“Um, just the random micro-injury for sudden stretching. I took the usual painkiller or muscle medicine. I guess is noted there” Paige answers.  
“Mind if we do a quick OT test?” Julia offers her.  
“Ok, no problem” Paige says, standing up and removing her jacket. Julia notices the gloves.  
“Is winter feeling colder?” Julia asks her.  
“Just the usual. You know, the arm not self regulate well so we risk hypothermia” Paige comments.  
“I need to actually check the shoulder. You had not done checkup in a while?” Julia asks her.  
“Yes, sorry. A couple years. I was doing just semester jobs in different cities. Interim teacher” Paige says removing her shirt. Julia checks her shoulder, softly pressuring her fingers around the shoulder blade.  
“Do you have shoulder pain depending on certain positions or feel soreness, numbness, sudden nerve or muscle spasms?” Julia asks her.  
“I think just the usual, after a long day is a bit sore” Paige answers. Julia checks the flexing range, the ‘wing’ noticeable.  
“OBPIs in their 30s are reporting of chronic shoulder pain, just trying to prevent. When was the last time you’ve micro-injured or overstretched?” Julia asks her.  
“Before James was born. He is 6 months. So, probably a year ago.” Paige replies.  
“Well, open the can” Julia passes her a plastic transparent can. Paige opens it with not too much effort, elbow noticeable.  
“Very well, now pick the pieces one by one” Julia orders. Paige does.  
“Now, hold one and take it to your mouth, as to eat. With the other hand too” Paige does, feeling a bit awkward.   
“Put the pieces back in, close the lid and hold the can up over your head” Julia orders, Paige makes sure the can is closed properly by shaking the can. Then holds it with both hands and tries to raise it up over her head but her right elbow pronation not let it get further up than two palms over her head.  
“Very well done. Now” Julia passes her a computer mouse “try it with each hand” Paige does, Julia notes is evident Paige is right handed.   
“Very well, you are mostly right handed, right?” Julia asks, Paige nods. “Last exercise” Julia passes her a comb. Paige moves it over her head as far as she can get, some parts she does with her left hand.  
“Very well. I think your range is the same, which is great news. We can set you OT or PT sessions if you want, once or twice a week. It’ll be good for maintenance and preventing further micro-injuries and soreness. Probably your flexibility will improve. Some other patients had tried other non-medical options, you can try them too if you want, mostly helps to socialise.” Julia tells her.  
“Would my insurance cover OT or PT once a week for long? Will I have to report it as a medical injury or something?” Paige asks concerned.  
“We can work to get you once a week session for the time you may need. Report will not be necessary. I’ll work on that” Julia offers.  
“Are there many other OBPI around?” Paige asks her curious.  
“Well, is confidential information. But you know statistics. Happens once each 1000 childbirths, 45% recover to disability levels lower than 30% during the first year. So if Haven has 25K, means there are 25 OBPIs. Cerebral palsy happens 2 per 1000 childbirth, so there are more in town too. I can not provide you more information. But if you are thinking about it, might be a great idea” Julia tells her.  
“About what?” Paige asks confused. She was just curious, true she went to UBPN summer camp some times, archery was fun.  
“Some sort of activism, create community spaces and sharing experiences. Is a nice project” Julia suggest.  
“I’ll think about it. So, when is the OT appointment?” Paige says dressing up again. Julia helps her get the jacket on, right hand first.  
“The secretary will get you an appointment” Julia says friendly. “See you kid” she waves at James, which although looked concerned when he sensed Paige worried, has behaved well.  
Paige sets the appointments for next week, she got a good impression of the specialist, although the revelation was shocking. 

That night she considers to text the officer, but about what? She is not going to bluntly tell him. But she feels that talking to him about anything would calm her. He’s been quite emotionally comforting so far, she wished she had known him longer so they can be closer now. She reads James a tale instead and both fall asleep on her bed.

Wednesday, 18 january 2012. 9am  
She has finally set an appointment for the best adviced daycare. She rings the bell and soon welcomes her someone with a cowlick in two colours.  
“Hi, you must be Paige, right? I’m Sam, one of the teachers, by the way I’m nonbinary, my pronouns are they/them, I hope that is not a problem. We had been waiting you. Come on in” says Sam, who is wearing a knitted waistcoat in black, yellow, white, purple and black stripes, waving friendly at James who shouts happily.  
“Pleased to meet you ... them Sam. Excuse my ignorance, but what is nonbinary?” Paige asks.  
“You identify as female, the other teacher identifies as male, I identify as none. Specifically I’m agender, not male nor female, no gender, just a person. By the way we have a genderless toy policy. Meaning for instance, if your son wants to play with traditionally female oriented toys, such as dolls or cooking, we not reprimand them for that, we believe is best to help a person develop their natural interests and skills regardless of their gender. Is that ok?” Sam asks Paige.  
“Sure, no problem. I think is great.” Paige says.  
“Have you heard about the program we follow?” Sam questions.  
“Well I heard is the best daycare in town.” Paige answers.  
“We have short term programme as well as all along to pre kindergarten. We have bilingual optional program, pre musical program. But ultimately is the parent choice and the child comfort. We mostly focus on cognitive development, creative expression, executive function, of course we know each infant has their natural pace, this is not a competition. He can start for a couple weeks. See how he adapts. I understand you are a teacher too.” Comments Sam.  
“That sounds good. How do you know that I am a teacher?” Paige asks Sam. She not remembers mentioning that.  
“From Nora, Gloria’s bartender. She is my partner” Sam explains.  
“Ah, great. As a teacher at times I have school schedule at afternoon, would the program cover that?” Paige asks them.  
“No problem, schedule is quite flexible, just tell us ahead. Btw is he vaccinated? Any known allergy? He’ll stay for lunch, right?” Sam asks Paige.  
“Yes, he is on schedule, he is getting DTaP third shot next monday, he is 6 months old. No allergies so far. Yet no cow milk. I’ll tell you about the meal schedule.” Paige informs Sam.  
“Third shot, such a big boy. We can email you the lunch menu weekly” Sam tells her playing with James who is all giggles.  
“Perfect” they exchange emails, fill in James registry.   
“So, see you tomorrow then. You’ll have a couple funny hours kid, playing with blocks, clapping sing-along, helping with puzzles.” Sam comments cheerfully before both Cross leave.   
Paige is yet a bit nervous about the vaccine, and what doctor Carr and Mann has told her, why no previous specialists had told her about that? She tries to not overthink, there is not much more than waiting for monday.

She needs emotional comfort and she is yet so new in town to approach her acquaintances for that. Without noticing she has driven to Gloria’s pub. Maybe she is there, she has been friendly and is related to medicine. She gets in, there is few people.  
“Hi nice to see you. What would you like?” Nora, wearing a gradiant horizontally stripped pink top, friendly greets them. Paige is looking around from the chair for Gloria.  
“Is Gloria here? I have to consult her” Paige tells her while removing her gloves.  
“She is at work. She might have a break shorthly. I can ask her to come over.” Nora informs her.  
“Oh, I’ll come some other time then” Paige says standing up.  
“Wait a moment, I am calling her” Nora moves around the bar. “She says she is at the station. If you came by car, you can be there in a few minutes. She is coming over for lunch”. Nora offers.  
“I’ll go there then. Thank you” Paige says going out to her car with James.  
A few minutes later she arrives. James by her side. She asks one of the officers about Gloria. They tell her to wait since is finishing on a case. Shortly after leaves a room both Gloria and Nathan, the latter wearing a black shirt that for some reason seems familiar to her.  
“Um, hi Paige.” Nathan asks approaching her and waving at a giggling James.  
“Hi Nathan. I just have to consult Gloria about something, medical” Paige explains.  
“Hi dear, Nora told me about you coming over. How can I help you?” Gloria wonders.  
“I need to run a medical consult with you.” Paige tells her. Both enter the room. Nathan is curious but kneels down to play with James and his teddy who was getting worried seeing his mother leave. 

“Well, I just had a checkup with traumatologist doctor Carr, turns out there’s more on my medical records, which no specialist had told me before. And is confusing and making me worry about James. She has been comforting but still, I keep overthinking. James is going to be vaccinated for Pertussis. He is up to date with all the immunizations, he had not had any bad reaction to the other 2 shots. For those a friend helped me taking care for a week. I am concerned about me. Apparently I can’t be exposed to that one, because apparently I could had epilepsy since a kid, so I don’t remember having had those vaccines myself, the doctor always skipped that per some protocol nobody had told me about before. We have an appointment next monday but still, what I’ll have to do? I can’t have him the whole week in daycare, but if I am not vaccinated I am at risk if exposed” Paige rambles more than explains, nervously waving her hands around.  
“Julia is your doctor? She is our friend. Nathan can call her if you want to consult her further” Gloria offers.  
“They are?” Paige asks confused. How come it seems everyone seem related to him?  
“Both were in the AV club in high school. So they know each other pretty well. You want he calls her?” Gloria says. Paige considers and declines.  
“You are a doctor too. What should I do?” Paige asks Gloria concern in her eyes.  
“Well, firstly, accept that is not your fault. You are a wonderful mother.” Gloria tells her side hugging her, Paige leans on Gloria “Secondly, since apparently you not had that vaccine yourself, doctors were following a protocol that is currently being revised, still, extreme the care with hygiene that week. If he gets fever, runny nose or coughing the days after the vaccine tell the specialist as soon as possible, and call me, you have my number from the park, we’ll see what to do, doctor would run a test to determine if is pertussis or just a cold. He could come over with Aaron after daycare for that week, if you want, we all had that vaccine. But if he had no reaction with the other two shots, he should be fine. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Do something relaxing until monday, keep your mind positive and relaxed, focused on something else.”  
Both go back outside the room. Nathan is holding a sleepy James while he cooes him with some lullaby.   
“All clear?” Gloria asks Paige. Nathan looks quizzical, while gently rocking sleepy James who clutches at his chest.  
“Could she help?” Nathan asks Paige.  
“Well, I’ll have to be more careful. It’ll be ok. Thanks a lot Gloria, you are right.” Paige says hugging her, then smiles at Nathan while picking up James and leaves.  
“Is everything fine with her?” Nathan wonders.  
“I am a proffessional, what she told me is confidential. She has her right what she tells to who, so if you want to know further, let her tell you when she considers, or ask her yourself. Might be helpful she finds a way to relax until monday” Gloria sentences leaving too. Nathan stands up, and James’ teddy falls to the floor. He picks it and goes to his office. The rest of the shitft he goes everywhere with the teddy on his jacket pocket, wondering about what might had happened, what will happen on monday and how he could help. Finishing his shift, he goes back home, after a quick shower and dinner, he consider his options. Text, call, show up. He can come over for the teddy.   
“James left his teddy. Coming over in 30?” he texts her. She reads quickly. Typing, typing, deleting, no message sent. So is that a yes? Nathan waits a couple minutes. No reply. When he is on the way walking his phone alerts a text. “Ok”. 

He is at her door. Ring the bell, knock the door, text her? Why so much hesitancy Nathan? Before he does anything, the front door opens. Appearing a freshly showered, hair looks still wet, wearing a purple shirt, Paige holding a crying James on her left arm.   
“Thank you, thank you, thank you. He has been missing teddy” Paige says suddenly hugging him from the side. “Do you want to come in?” She offers. He nods and follows. James finally relaxes hugging teddy on his portable crib. Both look at a soon sleepy baby.  
“So, you and Julia are friends since high school?” Paige suddenly asks him. She has brought both some juice and snacks. Nathan notices she has decorated the living room more, there are some pictures. He quickly glances at two which gets his attention, one of newborn James, another of a younger Paige in front of a tent, holding a bow and green arrow at a camp with friends, all in blue shirts, and a crochet project of a beanie rests on the couch. He smiles to himself for the colour pattern: pink, yellow, blue on the inner circles, the base, and black, grey, white and purple on inclined stripes along the head. Does she know the symbology of the combination of those colours?  
“Yes. AV club friends. Her mom and mine were on the book club too.” He comments. “Whatever the consult was about, it helped?” Nathan asks. Paige takes a deep breath. Now or never.  
“Ok. I’ll tell you. I was injured at birth. Is called Obstetrical Brachial Plexus Injury, OBPI for short. During delivery I got stuck in the birth canal, head was out but not the shoulders. So, during the manouvers shoulder dystorcia happened, and brachial plexus nerves got injured.” She gestures where the brachial plexus is on herself, from back, over the neck to the armpit. “I had a check up with the traumatoligist, doctor Carr. She found out that apparently something else happened then, so I have a medical consult with neurologist, doctor Dylan Mann on monday. That got me nervous, because also on monday James has his third shot for Pertussis. Previous ones, I had a friend staying to help for a week, but not this time, so I felt kinda overwhelmed” she explains trailing off.  
“Oh, ok.” Nathan replies in a pensive tone, figuring out how to rationally help “Maybe just being more strict with preventive protocol will be enough. If he had no previous reaction to those ones, things will go fine, right?” Nathan offers, she looks yet doubtful. He rests his hand in her palm and gently rubs his thumb over her hand, as comfort.   
“Maybe, but I can’t help but stress about it. Which by the way is not good for the shoulder, stress leads to shoulder pain, which I assure you is not funny, drops my spoons” she tells him.  
“So, that is why you wear the gloves, and the door handlers?” He questions.  
“Yes, Haven’s wisest. The injury affects our temperature regulation in that arm, we risk hypothermia in winter, our pain sensation, blood pressure, range of movement, weight holding, rotation. So now you know, we are even. I know yours, you know mine” she says half playfully half hesitant.  
“Look, if the other day we did overstep...” he begins but she squeezes his hand.  
“Is ok. Sooner or later that conversation was going to happen. I am actually thankful it has happened early on, less weight to carry” she jokes, both fall silent, absent mindly caressing their hands.   
“So, you got a good impression about Julia?” He asks after a while.  
“Yes, in fact she encouraged me to make community. Since OBPI happens once per a thousand childbirths, there must be another 24 people with my same injury in Haven” Paige explains.  
“Found family is always a great mutual support system” Nathan reasons. “So, do you need any help with the vaccine?” Nathan offers.  
“The consult with Gloria helped a lot. If we’d need anything, we’ll tell you” she tells him looking at James and then at him, he smiles. He squeezes her hand and nods as she looks up at him.  
“It’s always a pleasure to see you, but I should get going.” Nathan says after a while, standing up.  
“Work day tomorrow” both say at same time, which make both smile.   
“Thanks a lot. You are quickly becoming his favourite new person. I hope he’ll be fine tomorrow, first day at day care. Just a couple hours, yet a big day” Paige comments.  
“It’ll go well, he is an easy-going kid” Nathan comments. This time both hug quickly, and he leaves. She is watching him from the window then picks James to rest him in his crib.

Thursday, 19 january 2012.  
James first day at daycare goes well. Although he cried seeing Paige leave, he soon hanged out with Aaron, and another one of Aaron’s friends. When she picked him up two hours later he was cheerfully playing with a tactile sensory book. She was hesitant to tell them, but honestly feels a lot more relaxed now, specially because none of them reacted as ableists do. While she is reading in the backyard, James by her side in his hammock seeing the birds fly as the sun sets, she gets a text.  
“How did the first day go?” He texted her. She is surprised he cared to ask.  
“Cried when I left, cheerful when I picked him up. He was playing with Aaron, they are park buddies too” Paige answers. She considers to add some emoji, but might be too much, right?  
“Great. Less nervous?” He replies.  
“I hope things will go fine. Can’t wait for next week to be over” she replies.  
Nathan looks at the wall calendar, thinking to himself, me too, and glances at Elizabeth’s portrait on the library. He has been redecorating home recently. Cookie II rests his head next to him on the couch, he pats him.   
“I figure. Easier said than done, but try not to stress. Do something relaxing instead. The beanie looks nice, by the way” Nathan comments her.  
“Thank you” she replies. He is amused by her politeness.  
“Bingo, 100th time used. Will have to wait a week. That or some payment” he playfully texts her.  
“What kind of payment?” Paige asks curious. Yes she dared to send a thinking emoji. And that confuses him for a moment but decides not to overthink it.  
“Meeting Cookie. Is my dog. Saturday, midday, fishing point with friends, some snacking. I’ll drive you both. Sounds good?” He asks.  
“Ok. See you then. Good night, good day tomorrow” she replies, later considering it was too much?

Saturday, 21 january 2012, midday.  
Paige waits by her door with a giggling James on the carrier. She thought she’d have to wait, but turns out Nathan is the guy wearing a black leather jacket, which again looks familiar, approaching their door.  
“Ready? Brought some snacks?” Nathan asks them clapping at the last word, which makes James laugh and clap back.  
“Oh, you are early.” Paige answers.  
“Yes. Cookie will be there. Dwight drove him.” Nathan explains, as they get James in the back seat. James shouts happily.  
“He liked the surprise” Nathan comments as Paige looks back.  
“What surprise?” Paige asks confused.  
“The teddy he has, are collectibles. Sam told me he likes that one in daycare, now he has it for home. If that’s ok.” Nathan asks her. Paige looks at him curiously and finally smiles.  
“Is very kind of you” Paige comments.   
They drive to the fishing point. There waits Cookie happily waving their tail as soon as they see the Bronco. Cookie is accompanied by Lizzie, Dwight, Sam, Nora and, is that Julia?  
Nathan is greeted by Cookie running around him until Nathan kneels down to pat Cookie. Nathan opens James’ door and Paige picks the carrier. Dwight gently greet them.  
While the two ex-Guard guys do fishing, all the others are playing with James. Julia politely asks Paige to accompany her for a short walk.  
“Are you more relaxed about next week? If the other shots not caused a reaction is unlikely it will this time, anyways I’ll be ready, but just if you follow the protocol Gloria told you, it should be fine. Remind you that protocol is being revised since 2008, maybe that changes.” Julia tells her.  
“Yes, I’m a bit more positive, still you know, single mother for good and bad” Paige comments.  
“I am aware how that goes. I not have mine but my mom raised me alone while she kept her career too. She learnt to delegate, coordinate and most of all trust her intuition and her found family” Julia tells her. They walk for a bit and Julia notices that Paige glances at Nathan as much as she glances at James.  
“He really is a kind person. He has done a lot for this town, he has given everything for that town” Julia tells her.  
“What happened?” Paige asks.  
“I wasn’t here all along, and that is for him to tell, when he considers neccessary” Julia explains.  
“What happened to the woman that lived over Gloria’s bar?” Paige asks.  
“Before the bar was property of Gloria, it was of Duke Crocker. Them three were close friends” Julia says. Lizzie approaches them with a dish of her homemade cookies. They join the fishing men.  
“Have you gone fishing before? You want to try?” Dwight offers her.  
“I haven’t tried but ok. If you show me how it goes a few times first” Paige says.  
Dwight shows step by step a couple times, advicing on balancing postures.   
“Ok, I think I got it” Paige says and gives it a try, holding a safe posture for herself which is not really as Dwight told her but he not corrects her. Julia observes the movement, which counterbalances with her left side. It not gets as far as Dwight but apparently something catches early.   
“Nice piece” Dwight comments. So far is the first fish of the day.  
James is fussy, he is getting hungry. So Paige excuses herself to feed him his puree. James is holding the new teddy which is a policeman and Cookie is sat next to his carrier since he arrived. Nathan calls Cookie to play fetch. James keeps looking at Nathan, Paige also glances at him occassionally, which he notices the third time, waving at them. James shouts happily.  
“James if you just giggle you can’t eat” Paige comments, he makes a pouty face. “You already picking on that?” Paige comments and suddenly James grins, as she feels a shadow behind herself.  
“Nice carrot puree, James? He definitelly likes the teddy.” Nathan sits on the side, waving the old teddy at James. “So, you like practicing other sports?” Nathan asks her.   
“I did some, time ago. Basket, handball, cycling, tennis, even archery during a summer camp” Paige comments.  
“So you do more sports than me then. The area is nice for hiking and sailing too, if you like those. What about swimming?” Nathan asks her.  
“Hadn’t in a while” Paige comments.  
“Sounds a good plan for the summer. Diving, canoeing, sailing” Nathan offers.  
“I’ll see when the time comes” Paige comments.   
James meal is gone. Soon he falls asleep and teddy falls off his grip, Cookie picks it gently and places it by James’ feet on the carrier. The rest share a snacks meal. Everyone brought something. Cookies, toasts, diced fruit, pasta salad. After lunch both Dwight and Nathan go back to fishing, James still asleep, Paige picks back her reading. Lizzie gets curious about which book is.  
“Boneshaker. Which serie is that?” Lizzie asks her.  
“Is a steampunk novel. You’d like readings like that one in school?” Paige asks her.  
“Yes, a lot more than the boring compulsory ones. You’ll be my teacher?” Lizzie asks curious.  
“I don’t know yet to which groups I will be assigned to. I’ll suggest a reading programme to the board for the next semester, but I’m just the new teacher” Paige tells her.  
“Awesome. And what is that, steampunk?” Lizzie is yet curious.  
“Have you read Jules Verne? Balloons, adventures. Is kind of like that” Paige offers.  
“Does it has romance?” Lizzie asks curious. Julia, Nora and Sam glance curious at them.  
“Not always. This one barely has any. You like romance novels?” Paige replies, all the observers get busy again.  
“Older girls talk about dates, so I am curious. How is a date?” Lizzie tells her. Paige is confused about how the conversation lead to romance. Then it hits her, she has never heard about Lizzie’s mom, so must be Dwight is a single father, and the girl is preteen, so she is curious.  
“Well, don’t worry too much about that. That is not compulsory, it does not happen for some people and is ok. So if it does, it’ll happen when you’ll be ready and older. A good date is fun and relaxing for both people. Just enjoy your friendships meanwhile.” Paige offers. Lizzie nods. Julia has been listening. Lizzie goes to play lava with Sam and Nora.  
“Well adviced. Sounded a bit like Nathan.” Julia tells Paige sitting next to her.  
“Like him, why? I was just honest. I get she needs references, so the ones she’ll know now can be crucial” Paige replies.  
“It just does. And you are correct. She has no memory of when but her mom left. As far as I know, Dwight has not dated anyone since then, true he has friends. Almost like Nathan. Well, he dated a bit more, but also I know him longer. Don’t get it wrong, he is not a womanizer. Half the guys in class thought he would be, they used to pick on him out of imagined jealousy, but he’s just been a good friend with everyone, rarely interested in people that way. He has stopped more unwanted advances from someone than actually made a move himself on someone, it takes him a lot to figure out he actually likes someone or to notice that someone actually like him” Julia tells her. Paige is confused about why she is telling her that.  
“Had you two dated?” Paige asks out of the blue.  
“Oh, we have not. We are just good friends. Sam is like the sibiling he never had, they were neigbours as a kid. He is quite rational, but at times feelings overwhelm or confuse him. About Lizzie. I guess she sees Sam and Nora as too close friends of Dwight to ask them, and although I am local, I’ve just returned. In her near circle, is like you are the only young adult she can ask.” Julia comments.  
“I guess so. I do not think I am the best expert source to consult. Is not my forte.” Paige comments.  
“There are things that one not needs an extensive history to be a good source about” Julia replies.  
James wakes up. Paige picks him, resting him gently on her side while she reads him. He smiles at the voices she does. It’s getting cold before sun sets, so they decide to call it a day and return to town. Nathan drives them back home, they hug as goodbye and he leaves. She wonders why she finds that clothing familiar if she had never met him prior arriving at Haven. At least she feels more relaxed. Both rest on her bed while she reads him, James on her side, old teddy in her hand.


	4. 4 - Gold Connection

Arrivals 4 - “Gold connection”

Monday 23 january 2012  
9 am  
Paige tries not to be nervous and overthink. Remembering the comfort and encouraging words of Julia, Gloria, Nathan and Dylan himself the past week. He seemed friendly. Nurse soon calls her in.  
“Hi again Paige. Please have a seat” Dylan gestures and sits himself, folder in hand. “I had consulted doctor Carr and our OT and PT specialist, Magnus O’Brian, after she told me you’ll session.” Dylan says holding a pen on blue, pink, white, pink, blue stripes. “I’ve received the scan results.” he pauses. “Is positive. A mild case, but still, that affects your neurological system. You not had epileptic episodes previously, but preventive measures have been taken all along. There is no Pertussis vaccine on your records, not as an infant, not as older, not while pregnant. I know you are concerned about the vaccine. Should be no problem, but we’ll be ready in case anything happen in the next three weeks. Pertussis can incubate for 3 weeks. I understand M.E. Gloria Verrano already adviced you on how to prevent.” Dylan looks at her.  
“Yes, she has told me. Does that mean I have to reevaluate my disability certficate?” Paige asks.  
“I would advice not to rush. Go step by step. Focus on the sessions for now. We’ll see how things go, we’ll team and work together. Then we’ll decide what is best. Of course, you have the last word” Dylan comments.  
“Ok, maybe that way I can do what Julia suggested” Paige comments.  
“What it is? Can my department help?” Dylan offers.  
“Just to do some community. She told me that statistically there are another 24 OBPIs in Haven, I guess goes the double for CP. Since is confidential she can’t tell me more, but I guess some may session too.” Paige replies standing up.  
“Wait. There is something we have yet not talked about. You had phenobarbital prescripted during your first year. Is no longer prescripted on infants. Have you had any depressive episode?” Dylan asks her.  
“I had a tought life. I follow healthy coping mechanisms to manage extreme emotion healthily” Paige comments.  
“Would you mind have some session about that, some other time?” Dylan gently offers.  
“I already have a busy week, well next three weeks ahead, when that is over, I’ll appoint a session. Ok?” Paige finally concedes.  
“Perfect.” Dylan shakes her hand. Then is when she notices his name tag saying Neurologist and Psychologist. James friendly waves good bye.

10am  
Waiting room for the pediatrician. Paige is a bit nervous checking her phone, playing with James. He brings the new policeman teddy everywhere. The old teddy got the habit to accompany her, specially while crochetting. She had thought about the beanie comment, and although her next project were fingerless gloves for her, she is thinking of gifting him a beanie but she not knows his favourite colour.   
“James?” the nurse calls for them. Soon they enter the room. There welcomes them a tall doctor, Sharon Kelly reads the nametag. Paige gives her the papers.  
“Pleased to meet you James. Ready?” says the doctor friendly tickling James’ which burst in giggles. “Let’s see. Ticklish, ticklish” pediatrician says playfully. Nurse lays James on the table on his tummy. The table has a row of dog toy figures along the wall. James tries to roll over. Paige holds his hand. “James honey, lay”. Paige removes his pants. Pediatrician tickles his legs. Then finally applies the injection. James cries looking around. Paige coos him gently caressing his hair. Nurse quickly puts his pants on. Pediatrician tickles him again. James half cries half laughs. James grips a dog toy. Paige holds him up, wiping his tears.  
“Be observant, if he seems to have a cold in the next 3 weeks, bring him to run a test. Doctor Carr and I would have things ready, but should be fine just following the protocol Gloria told you. Take care. You are a very well behaved kid, you can keep the toy.” Paige can’t help but notice the toy is the most similar to Cookie, a labrador too. 

They keep their routine: daycare, school for her, park time. By sunset she gets a text.  
“How did it go?” she already figures is from Nathan before checking.  
“Well, as expected he cried. But he got a labrador toy from the pediatrician” Paige replies adding a dog emoji, which makes Nathan smile.  
“No longer plays with the new teddy?” Nathan asks her adding a policeman emoji.  
“He does too. Yet on morning shift?” she asks, more to make conversation than curiosity.  
“Opposite, night. Are you going to be Lizzie’s teacher? Dwight says she has been talking a lot about you, and she wants to read what you were reading. Steampunk and, zombies? I thought you liked vampyres” he replies with a thinking emoji.  
“I hope you have a good coffee. I don’t know yet which groups I’ll teach to. I am quite diverse on my readings. Not really a preference in that way. I like the narrative style, different plots, etc. I don’t want to bore you with the jargon” Paige replies.  
“Yes, is a good one, getting cold. Jargon is insteresting. I read too. Vampyres have good libraries” he jokes adding a grin emoji. Really Nathan, vampyres?  
“Do you actually like Dracula?” Paige asks.  
“The novel yes. The character no. I like the styles the narrative mixes.” Nathan replies.  
“You actually like to read. Which suitor should had Lucy picked?” Paige asks curious.  
“I am not Lucy. I don’t know. Who she choose was the most hesitant to help her as Van Helsing adviced. Anyways they got too late. Dracula had been visiting her too long” Nathan replies.  
“Good answer. Well, I let you be. Good shift. Thanks for asking” Paige replies.  
“1/100” Nathan replies, which makes her smile.

 

Tuesday, 24 january  
8am  
Long night, they had to check the caves on the shore for smugglers, which reminds Nathan of that sinkhole incident with Audrey, and of ex-smuggler Duke. He is thankful Paige texted him a bit, at least that distracted him, even made him smile. As soon as he gets home he dozes off on the couch. Cookie by his side. 

10am  
Paige is on the way to daycare, she passes by a yellow home and, is that Cookie? The dog barks, James looks to the front window and grins. Sure is Cookie. So Nathan lives there? Cookie leaves the window. Will he open the door now? You are going to daycare, remember? She shakes her head and gets on the way.  
James goes with both toys. He is liking to play near the kitchen set. Maybe he’ll get a set for his birthday. Then she goes to school. Again she asks who her assigned classes will be. She is yet waiting the school approves her reading program proposal. In favour it can be a try for last semester, against she is the new teacher so barely known by the others.   
“Kids had been asking me if we’ll have theatre group or not. The teacher you are covering used to do that” asks her one of the teachers.  
“Extracurricular? Afternoons?” Paige asks.  
“Just 2 days a week, then some stage play in june.” Explains the teacher.  
“Ok, I could do that” Paige concedes, hoping that will help with her reading plan.  
“Perfect” says the teacher.

3pm  
Nathan woke up hungry, after some pasta he heads out, fresh flowers from the backyard’s garden in hand. Cookie by his side. He had not been there in quite a while. Sure he goes yearly, but there was a time he went there more often. One by one he leaves a flower around the tombstone. 24 in total, one per each year. He was so young when she left. Before he speaks he feels someone else by his side. He looks, suddenly hugs them.   
“I miss Beta too” Sam tells him gently patting his back for comfort.  
“If you need privacy, I’ll be back later” Sam offers seeing him hesitant. When Audrey left he promised himself he would not cry other than for happiness, as she asked him to, to move on.   
“Stay, sib” Nathan tells them gently holding their hand. Sam nods.  
“It’s been 24 years. I still remember those days. I made peace with the feel of guilt, thanks to good friends, found family.” Nathan says, squeezing Sam’s hand “You were right is better to share happiness. It’s been a lot this year. Many good friends are gone. Duke, Dave. But Haven is safe now. And Audrey. I told you about her before. Dad also knew, long before I did myself. We, we got together, we loved each other, we really really did, how could not? We supported each other all along, and understood, we had similar intuition, we never stopped being friends, finally.” He smiles talking about her “But she also had to go, to not return.” He looks down briefly “She asked me to be happy too. It’s been a hard month, but good friends helped. Gloria, Dwight, Sam.” He squeezes their hand again “And then there’s this new woman with a kid. She is and is not like her. Audrey was not meant to return, but ... there’s no way Paige is not somehow related. Somehow Barn let her return one last time, really as human. Troubles are gone by the way. Everyone’s Trouble is gone. And Paige has a son, James” he smiles again “He always giggles so much when he sees me. When I knew James was mine ...” he looks down again “it hurted a lot, all the things I missed. His childhood, to actually be his father, be there for him when he’d need me. I saw him in the barn, I saw him taken by Croatoan, her in my arms. We could do nothing to stop it, it had to happen. Is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in those two decades, watch them go.” He nervously rubs his nape “And now she is back, well not her, but I can see James grow up. You would love to see him so cheerful.” He smiles looking at her name again “When you passed away, Sam told me their family say you became a protective star wishing the best upon us. Thanks mom”  
Both Sam and Nathan hug each other for long.   
“Beta is so very proud of you Nathan, never forget that, sib” Sam tells him caressing his hair. He nods. They talk a bit about their lives, and Sam leaves. Nathan sits by the tombstone talking to her about happier things. Cookie, Aaron, Lizzie. And without him noticing he is talking a lot about James and Paige with a big smile. He feels the sun on his back and stands up, ready to leave.

4pm  
Paige is returning from park time with James and Aaron. She got some materials for another knitting project. She asked Gloria and Vickie about other parks around the town. They told her of the lookout point, even the graveyard. She considers which one to visit first. She still gets lost and trying to get to the lookout point she turns to arrive to the graveyard. She sees a leather jacket she had seen before. A labrador runs around. No doubt is Nathan. She is about to leave because he seems to be having a moment in front of a tombstone, a flower in hand, but then Cookie is cheerfully running around the stroller. James giggling and waving at him. Nathan waves at Cookie to go back to him. He not recognizes who is Cookie with until he sees them approaching, which makes him look confused at the tombstone.  
“I was looking for the lookout point, I’ve been told it has a wonderful view of the bay.” Paige tells him. Nathan rubs his hair, gesture she got curious about but not comments.  
“Um. My mom. She passed away 24 years ago today” Nathan comments gesturing at the tombstone.  
“Elizabeth, nice name” Paige comments reading the tombstone. “I’m sorry for your loss. You were very young” Paige says quickly huggging him longer than usual. He rests his hand on her back.  
“Thank you, really” Nathan replies. It’s been a while since he got condolences for her. James shouts at Cookie.  
“So you need a guide to the lookout point then?” Nathan asks her.  
“I can go some other day. You had a night shift, you must be tired. And you were having a moment. I’m sorry” Paige quickly comments, pushing the strolller.  
“No fun visit to see the bay? Is worth the walk from here” he comments waving at James.  
“Fine, but must be a really good view” Paige says sounding annoyed, which confuses him for a moment “I was joking. I’ll be glad to see it” she explains, he nods. James is moving a lot on his stroller since Cookie is running around, so Nathan decides to pick him up.   
“How’s daycare going kid? Making many friends?” Nathan asks him, James giggles.  
“He is making friends. He may like cooking. He uses to play near the kitchen set” Paige comments.  
“Oh, you going to challange which cooks better at home? James or Paige?” Nathan playfully asks.  
“Well, you had not tried my wonderful carrot puree. Is the best Cross secret recipe” she jokes.  
“None of you have tried my homemade pancakes either” he jokes back.  
“Is that a challange?” She asks curious.  
“Pick your weapon carefully. Your puree will be better than my pancakes?” Nathan jokes.  
“Challenge accepted, but i will cook something less infant friendly” Paige sentences.  
“We need an innocent hand to pick the place then” he picks the toys that were resting on the stroller, gives the teddy to Paige. “Which one do you say James?” Nathan says showing the labrador toy to James. Paige does the same with teddy. James looks at both but finally picks the dog.   
“James picked my place” Nathan states the obvious. “Saturday lunch sounds good?. You can cook there. I’ll get the ingredients, just pass me the list on time” Nathan says. She finally nods.  
They get at the lookout point. There is an ice cream cart. James waves. Paige uses to have one at the main square park. Nathan glances at a suddenly quiet and shy Paige. Is she blushing? Why?  
“My treat if you want ice cream” Nathan tells her. After a short thinking she nods.  
“Hi, can I have a cup of vainilla and almond? Two halves.” Paige orders.  
“Add a mint choco one Tom” Nathan says paying already. Tom gives two spoons for each cup.  
“Thank you” she tells Nathan.  
“2/100” he replies amused. As soon as Nathan holds the cup, James point fingers at it, curious expression. “Is he lactose intolerant?” Nathan asks her.  
“Pediatrician says to wait a year to try milk.” Paige says.  
“I’m sorry kid, but your mom says you can’t yet. You have to wait for summer” Nathan tells James who is giving a very pouty face. “I taught you that face. Happy face for your mom, she not wants your tummy hurts.”Nathan tells him, making a happy smile. James looks confused but mimics.  
They sit by the cement wall. Paige looking at the bay, Nathan in the opposite direction. James held safely, still wanting to get some ice cream.  
“Worth the walk?” Nathan asks her. She nods.  
“If you need to talk, you can let it out, you know” Paige says, Nathan looks confused “about your mom I mean” Paige explains.  
“Last walk we had she wanted to cross-stitch the bay view. She used to do that. During Christmas she would exhibit the year work along the livingroom walls” Nathan comments.  
“That sure was lovely” she gently rests her hand on his arm for comfort. He smiles at her.  
“How are your projects going? You do mixed works, knitting and crocheting?” Nathan asks her.  
“At times. I want to crochet gloves next, can’t decide on a colour” Paige comments.  
“Green or orange might be nice, more cheerful” Nathan comments. “The beanie is for you?”  
“Um, yes. I though of more colourful too” she replies rubbing her hands. He nods, likes that set.  
He looks at her absent minded for a while.  
“Why are you looking at me that way?” she comments, which reminds him of Sarah.   
“Um, no particular reason. Is nice to see you relaxed” he replies. Now is her the one staring. “Yours is going to melt” he comments and picks a spoonful of both flavours.  
“Hey is mine and you are going to mix them” she protests.  
“Ok try mine.” He offers his. She looks at him curiously but picks a spoonful. James waves hands.  
As they finish they throw the cups in the can, Nathan keeps the unused spoons in his pocket. Is getting windy so they walk back to her place, James back on the stroller and soon falls asleep. As they get to her door, he hugs her and whispers to her “thank you” she smiles. As they separate he smiles at her “It’s been nice to see you today” Nathan comments. She smiles and gets home. At sunset she texts him wishing him a quiet night shift.  
Both have a feeling of deja vu after that hug. As she is reading before sleep her mind wanders. She can’t focus on the reading so she closes her eyes, as phone buzzes a reply, her mind flashes of being in the lookout, having cheesecake ice cream, joking, Nathan being playful, of another blonde man, of Nathan again, that jacket. And they are hugging and kissing. Kissing? Paige where is your mind going? She is not sure if is a memory or some wishful thinking. Does she likes him like that? The blonde guy mentioned a Mara. What is going on?

Wednesay, 25 january  
3pm  
Paige had a quite restless night. She tried not to, but that last thought before falling asleep has confused her a lot. Felt more a deja vu than whisful thinking. True he is very kind, they are geting closer. But they are just friends, right? She not seems him like that, even if she does, is too soon. And she is sure he not feels the same. Must be what Julia commented her at fishing has confused her, she made him look so interesting. But sure if he were interested in that way he’d be clear. And anyways she just arrived, semester yet to begin, sure it is the moment for that? But she can’t help but feel so comfortable around him, sunset texts are becoming a nice routine. Night text, Paige he texted you late at night.   
“Running out of coffee. Good reading?” He had texted her, he expected to talk, right?. What shall she do now? He must be sleeping after shift.  
James cries from his crib, he not uses to wake during nap time after lunch. Paige soon cooes him. As she rests him on her side, his forehead rests on her left shoulder and it feels hot. Oh no. Paige feels his temperature., he is very feverish. He looks upset and yet sleepy. Could it be a bad reaction? What to do, what to do? She texts Gloria, Julia and Sam. “No daycare for James tomorrow. He has fever. I am taking him to the hospital”. The three quickly answer her.   
“I’ll have protocol prepared for a test” replies Julia.  
“I hope is a false alarm and is just a regular cold. Keep updated” Sam replies.  
“I’ll go there as soon as the case allows me” Gloria replies.  
Paige arrives at the hospital and Sharon and Julia receive her. Paige holds James close.  
“I’ll run a quick test on the lab to make sure if is just a cold” says the Sharon while Paige finally lays James on the table. Sharon swabs a sample to analyse. James cries feeling confused and uncomfortable. “It’ll be in a couple hours. The nurse is going to give him antibiotics and we’ll bathe him so the temperature lowers. It’ll be fine” says Sharon. The nurse picks James, before she leaves Paige kisses his forehead.  
“He is not coughing, which is a good sign, he is breathing fine too.” Julia reasons Paige.  
“I know, but is to high fever. And I can not hold him.” Paige replies devastated.  
“It will be fine” Julia gently hugs her. Paige lays on her shoulder. They go wait to Julia’s office.  
Meanwhile Sam has texted Nathan “James has fever. Is going to hospital, I hope they are fine * hugs *” Before he replies or texts Paige directly, as he was called back after lunch on a consult to finish a case at the station with Gloria, she approaches commenting him the same.  
“Vickie, please, finish the report. We are going to the hospital. Come on Nathan. Can you drive?” Gloria tells him. He nods. He is nervous, he had as good sleep as one can get being in night shift. Both get on the Bronco, him driving.  
“There were a couple kids having a cold at daycare last week. Probably is just that” Gloria reasons.  
“Hopefully is that” Nathan comments neutrally, his face a mixture of negative emotions that he tries to hide being focused and stoic. They arrive soon and ask for her at the entrance. Gloria sees Dylan, the neurologist.  
“Dylan dear, had you seen Paige? She just came in with a feverish James around half an hour ago” Gloria asks him.  
“They are in Julia’s office. She is quite distressed. Sharon is running a test to make sure if is that or just a feverish cold.” Dylan tells her. She nods and goes to Julia’s, knocks and opens. Nathan behind her.  
“Nathan? What are you doing here?” A confused Paige asks.  
“He drove me. Come on dear, let’s go to the cafeteria, he is in good hands. It’ll be just a severe cold” Gloria reasons her, gently pulling her to stand up and follow her. The three go to the cafeteria. Her gloves lost. Nathan orders chamomile tea at the bar.  
“He’ll be alright. There were two kids with a cold last week at daycare. Sure is just that. Drink your tea” Gloria says patting her hand. Paige feels shaken.   
“Stay with her. I’m going to check on the lab” Gloria tells Nathan, he nods. She is looking down. For a second he not knows how to cheer her up, he is feeling shaken too. He wonders if sitting by her side would be too forward or just the closeness she needs. He stands and sits by her side offering his shoulder to lean on. She follows the gesture and rest her head on his shoulder. He rests his right hand on her arm gently rocking her, her palm resting on his palm.   
“He was fine yesterday. So cheerful as usual. But this morning he woke from his nap crying. He has never had fever that high” she comments in a low sad voice looking at nowhere in particular.  
“I know. He’ll be fine” Nathan tries to reason. Suddenly she shivers. “Are you cold?” Nathan asks. She denies with her head, buring her face on his chest, which he soon feels wet. She is crying. He caress her hair for comfort. “He’ll be fine in no time, giggling as usual” he tells her. They stay like that for a while, until it feels that out of exhaustion she fell asleep. Some time later Gloria cheerfully returns.   
“His fever is lowering. He is griping toys. Where is his teddy?” Gloria asks. Nathan gestures for her to speak lower because Paige is asleep. “Oh, I understand. Test result should be out soon, I’m going to check” As Gloria leaves, Paige sleepilly clutches on his side, he looks at her sleepy face. Another half an hour later she wakes up, confused and a bit embarrassed. She had fell asleep in his arms, in a cafeteria. She quickly stands, she almost lose balance. Nathan quickly holds her back. “Stood too soon” he comments, his hands on her back.   
“Sorry” she mumbles. As a waiter passes by, Nathan orders a coffee.  
“Drink it. It’ll disipate the confusion” Nathan resolves. She pats his hand and sips the coffee.  
Gloria and Sharon get to their table.  
“False alarm. Is just a cold. No test failure. No more fever. I prescripted his treatment here.” The pediatrician informs Paige passing her a printed paper. “He is waiting in the office. I think he wants his dog toy, he is looking for it at the table row” she comments.  
Nathan stands up and helps her do the same, leaves a bill for the cafeteria and the four go to the office. Paige enters first followed by Nathan and the two doctors. As soon as James sees Paige his eyes brigthen, Paige gives James a hug, he smiles relaxed and looks at an emotional Nathan who waves at him, and he grins.   
“Oh, again. Thankfully” Paige comments caressing his yet wet hair. James smiles at Nathan. Paige holds him up, thanks the doctors and finally leaves to the corridor. Gloria goes to talk to Julia. Paige sits James on his carrier.   
“Don’t keep count today, ok?” she says and she hugs him while repeating “thank you, thank you” as soon as he was about to rest his hand on her back she separates.   
“No problem. Try to get some rest and relax. It’s been quite stressing” he says gently resting his hand on her injured shoulder.   
“Thank you for before. I feel asleep and cried on you, how embarrassing” she says blushing and covering her cheeks with her hands.  
“You were exhausted is fine. Do you feel fine to drive? Do I drive you both?” He offers, she ponders. She is a bit shaken still. She nods and gives him the keys. They get on the seats. As he turns on the engine, the music starts sounding Depeche Mode’s Walking in my shoes.  
“Synthpop fan?” Nathan asks her.  
“James likes them before he was born. Gold used to soothe him” Paige comments, which makes him remember of his pre-teens. He liked Gold when he was eleven.  
“What about you? Do you like them?” Nathan asks her.  
“Are you a music expert?” Paige asks back, which he reads as a defensive answer out of stress.  
“I used to listen to a lot of synthpop when I was in Middle School” Nathan replies “in fact Gold was one of my favourites” he continues. She looks at him quizzically “a curious coincidence” he concludes.  
They soon arrive at her home. He hopes to drop them and somehow go back to pick up his Bronco. She won’t invite.  
James is asleep on his carrier. As she opens the door she invites him over. He looks at her eyes, she needs him to stay a bit longer so he nods and follows. He is getting that her eyes are more expressive than they may seem, specially with him. She rests James on his crib, brings some snacks and beers to the living room. She not uses to drink beer, but today she needs it.  
“Thank you” he replies nodding and picking the beer.   
“Do I have to start a count on you too?” she jokes, which gets him off guard. She enjoys his confused face.   
“About before, I am sorry if I overstepped.” She continues, he is yet clueless. “The cafeteria”  
“I said, no problem. Is ok.” Nathan replies sipping some beer.   
“Is ok?” She asks as to yet make sure. He feels she is meaning something else but he does not get what it can be.  
“You were exhausted. Try to get some rest later. Busy day tomorrow?” He asks her.  
“The usual. I don’t know yet how to create community. I barely know the city yet to organize something.” She says finally sitting on the couch on a amicable distance. Both missing that comfort of closeness at the cafeteria, but isn’t that too friendly yet?  
“Maybe some event you all might be interested in gets you together. If you don’t try you can’t know. Still up for the lunch on saturday?. If you need some days for yourself is fine”  
“I’m actually thankful that was planned ahead. I can use some distraction of what had happened . So what do you like to read?” She asks sipping her beer.  
“I had not gave steampunk a try. I think I’d like it, all those machines sounds cool. My reading is diverse too. In fact, at times I read several novels at the same time” Nathan comments a bit smugly.  
“Multitasking memory?” She asks curious.  
“Sort of”   
“Is it because the plot or the pace bores you?” She asks, is that some innuendo? he wonders.  
“Not really. I enjoy different aspects. Anyways is just at times.” Nathan replies  
“I do too, is fine” she goes to put on her gloves, and notice they are not on her pockets. “I lost them” she comments.  
“What is lost?” Nathan looks also at the floor as she kneels searching for the gloves under the couch.  
“My gloves. I must had lost them at the hospital. Oh well, I’ll crochet new ones” she resolves.  
“By the way, there is a craft fair in town, at the market, this friday, if you are interested in homemade and so on. Might be a nice distraction” he offers.  
“Sounds good. Maybe some other time, James has a cold, doctor said is better to stay home for a couple weeks. Afternoon is busy, I’ll have to call a sitter” she says, he nods “I have the first PT/OT session in years.” she explains.  
“Are you worried about that?” Nathan senses her a bit tense.  
“Well last session I did it was over twenty years ago. I don’t really know what we’ll do exactly.” Paige says finishing her beer.  
“Well, are different life stages. It’ll be fine. Maybe there you find fellow OBPIs and you can create community. I made nice friends during OT. Grayson, also liked repairing devices, he was deaf, he taught me ASL” he says and signs “Hi nice to meet you”.  
“I did not kept contact with mines. We all were moving places.” Paige replies.  
“When is the session?” Nathan asks her.  
“At 5, why?” Paige asks back.  
“I could come over, sit James. I used to sit Sam. My shift starts at 9, there’s time” Nathan offers.  
“Thanks for offering but I can’t ask you that. You have to work, he has a cold. What if you get it too?” Paige asks back.  
“Ok, as you wish” Nathan replies finishing his beer. She looks at him curiously.  
“Ok, why do you do that?” she asks him. He looks quizzical. “You keep quoting that line, why?”   
“What quote?” He asks confused.  
“The princess bride. Wesley said As you wish to Buttercup, it meant, you know” Paige says blushing and waving her hands.  
“Oh. I hadn’t watched that movie in years, my fave was the kid. You though it was?”   
“Well, exact same words” Paige reminds.  
“There are many sentences with just three words, not all are a quote, or mean that.”   
“Yeah, quid pro quo.” Paige replies, giving an example.  
They stay in comfortable silence for a while.  
“Thanks for being there. It means a lot” she tells him suddenly caressing his hand. They look at each other, smiles and nods.  
“No problem. I should get going. Try to relax. Have a good night” Nathan stands up and hugs her, she shortly leans into it, before he separates and leaves. He was feeling a bit overwhelmed, is not like he not likes her company, she is very agreable, but that conversation confused him. She thought he was flirting? Did she liked that? Was he flirting? Both sit to see the sun set, Nathan from his Bronco, Paige from the backyard. Both glance at their phone expecting it’ll buzz a message that none sends. She reconsiders his offer, would save her some money. She finds quite a coincidence the fact that both James and Nathan like the same song. James dances on the instrumental part. She wonders, does he dances?. Because gently swaying James on his arms mumbling a lullaby to soothe him to sleep is not dancing, although is very cute. As Nathan is patrolling the streets, while he makes a stop on the car, outside to control night traffic, he zones out thinking about the day. He was shaken and scared that James could had been in such danger. He doesn’t think he could had watch that again, much less being that young. What if that would had affected both, Paige too? A moose running in the forest zones him back in and as he rubs his face his palm is wet. He had been crying, He shakes his head and touches his shirt pocket, feeling the two spoons comfort him and he gets back to work.

Thursday, 26 january  
The day has felt quite long for Paige, she not has school today. James not has fever but is quite sleepy and a bit moody. Looks like another teeth is on the way. She tries to distract him and keep him as comfortable as possible. Is so frustrating to see your kid in pain and can’t do much about it. She lays on the couch, James head resting on her belly. She reads and watch him play with his favourite new two toys, the teddy and dog. He ignores all the other toys, even stacking blocks. He only plays with blocks when he is interacted with. Before dinner her phone buzzes.  
“How’s sythpop fan doing today? Remind you to tell me which ingredients you need for saturday.” Added a bear and a dog emoji. That makes her smile. James looks at her and grins giving her the new teddy.  
“New teeth is on the way, so he is a bit moody. He is also sleepy for the cold, but no fever. He should be doing some stacking blocks but he just passed me your teddy, and is grinning. I don’t know how he knew it was you texting” Paige texts back.  
“Synthpop Gold connection” Nathan playfully replies.  
“Must be. He dances to the solo. You do too?” She adds a funny emoji.  
“Depends. I don’t think I am that good a dancer. But is fun” he replies. That makes her smile and get more curious on if he actually dances. James grins happily. She caress his hair and he makes a cheerful face.   
“You are really up for some sitting? You not have better plans for a friday afternoon?” She asks him.  
“Yes, why not? I am more up for quiet activities.” Nathan replies.  
“Tiring work and all? How do you relax?” She replies.  
“Depends what for. Too much energy, music. Recharge energy, reading. Emotional boost, decoupage” he replies.  
“2/100. I will keep count on your ‘depend’ too” she replies.  
“But I explained.”   
“ You are confusingly specific at times, if that oxymoron makes sense”   
“Literary jargon” he replies.  
“You said jargon is interesting. You know what oxymoron is, right?”  
“Clear as night, cold as the light. I like reading, I know what that is. In fact I actually enjoy a good conceptual oxymoron.”   
“Interesting to know. Well, have a good shift. Thanks for asking”  
“3/100” he replies with a funny emoji.

Friday, 27 january  
12am  
Nathan visits the craft fair with Cookie. He thinks of Paige and James as soon as he sees teddies, blocks and gloves. Even Cookie seems to had picked on that waving their tail in front of them.  
“Ok Cookie, which one we pick?” Nathan says showing him some gloves. Cookie barks at the purple ones. Cookie also barks at the rainbow coloured letter block set.   
While they keep checking the fair he meets Sam and Nora.   
“I don’t think you still play with blocks” Sam jokes.  
“James is still at home and she told me he is not much interested in stacking, and since seems he gets fascinated at every toy I give him” Nathan explains.  
“Every kid has their pace and interest. Everything’s fine? Is she ok?” Sam hand shakes him.  
“I guess so. How are you two doing? How is it going with the shop, do they really want to sell it?” Nathan asks Sam.  
“We are doing great, thanks. Well there are two against one. We are putting our savings together to buy Daniela’s part. She not wants to sell it but she has her life there. I understand tho”   
“I hope it not gets out the Martins. If I can help somehow. Maybe talk to Ivan” Nathan offers.  
“Thank you, but I’ll manage, sib” Sam hugs him and they leave.  
While he gets home, he gets a confusing text from Paige. A food list. Ah wait, the lunch.

4:30 pm  
There’s a knock on Paige’s door. She glances through the front window. The Bronco.  
“What are you doing here?” Paige asks confused.  
“Babysitting?” he replies confused. James grins happily as soon as he heard him.  
“You didn’t have to.” Paige says closing the door as he gets in waving at James.  
“Do you have another sitter?” She shakes her head no. “But you need one. PT appointmemt remember?” Nathan replies. She is confused for a moment.  
“Ok, I’ll get ready. He was playing with the toys” Paige comments approaching the staircase.  
“Where are the blocks?” Nathan asks her.  
“He is not interested for the moment”  
“Wait a moment” Nathan says standing up and going out to the Bronco. He brings a box from the backseat.   
“What is that?” Paige asks.  
“From the craft fair. You would had loved it. They even had bow and arrows, you like archery, right?. That one is a block set, well are dices with letters in colours. I know he is just 6 months old, but he could use it later, arrange letters to form words, learn colours, things like that” Nathan explains. “Sounds good?” He asks as she not replies, she is impressed.  
“Ok. You two have fun. I’m going to get ready” she says before going upstairs.  
Nathan opens the box with an expectant James. Bringing the pieces out. Nathan tells him the colours. Even makes the toys form his name with the dices. As Paige returns from upstairs after a quick shower sees them playing and wonders if he is aware how sweet and kind he truly is.  
“Ok, I’ll be back in around an hour” Paige says near the door. Nathan holds up James and approach to her.   
“Say bye bye to your mom, a kiss goodbye” Nathan says waving James hand and approaching him so he kiss her cheek. “Have fun” he says with the teddy. James waves cheerful.  
“He should be fine. He had napped an hour ago. He won’t need to be fed the next two hours, I’ll be back by then. If he gets moody for the teeth give him his chew. He likes it a bit cold, soothes the gums. If he gets fever bathe him. He should be fine. Thank you, I really owe you this time” Paige instructs and hugs him before opening the door.  
“Good driving and good session” Nathan tells her.   
They play with the blocks. James keeps glancing at a book on the coffee table so it gets Nathan curious and he picks it. As soon as James sees him holding the book he claps and lays back. Storytelling time.   
He checks the library on the living room. Smiles at the bow and arrow picture noticing also she wore a leather wristband. He ends up with Aesop’s fables. He makes voices for each character dialogue, at first James look at him quizzically then grins. After the tale James points at the radio. So he also likes music. Nathan turns it on, is on random, playing a playlist from a USB pen drive. After a few songs comes in fact Gold. At the instrumental solo part James sways rhytmically to the music waving happily. Nathan smiles at the scene. When the song finishes James waves to the radio again, so Nathan repeats the track and sits by his side, James back supported on him, Nathan mimics playing the keyboard and drums, James cheerfully mimics Nathan. James grins all along. Then sounds Nirvana’s Come as you are, which for some reason surprises Nathan, he not read her as a grunge fan, although he admit some songs are nice, that reminds him his College years. Followed by Pearl Jam’s Just Breathe. That one is the favourite from his spanish penpal friend, and now in fact a poetess and tales writer Rosa. Bonobo’s Kiara, a song Sam would not stop talking about for months. Another surprise. A grinning James’ waves hands to the melody. 

Before they notice the door opens. James cheerfully waves at her. She enters leaving the keys on the entry stand.  
“How has he behaved?” Paige asks holding her bag on the table and approaching them.  
“Perfect. We formed letters” Nathan says pointing at the diced blocks which reads ‘welcome back mom, had fun?’ Paige smiles to herself. Looks at Nathan who smiles at her waving James hand.   
“Well, had you had fun? James is curious” Nathan replies.  
“Yes, I had fun. I had a coffe with two of them afterwards. That’s why I am a bit late” she excuses.  
“No need to excuse. Is great. You heard that James? Mom made new friends” Nathan tells playfully at James which makes him grin and sway.  
“He sways now?” Paige asks.  
“Well, we had some dance, storytelling. Nice playlist by the way. I did not pick you for a grunge fan tho” Nathan says.  
“Surprise. Some songs are nice, even child friendly, anyways he likes the melody” Paige replies, they share a questioning look. “So, you two danced?” She asks him curious.  
“He did and air played the keyboard, he kicked it on the drums, right James?” Nathan says tickling James who burst laughing.  
“So you did not actually danced? Not even to Gold? It was on that playlist” Paige says.  
“Um, I did not. So you like music, a lot? You’ve visited Sam’s family music shop?” Nathan asks not noticing the innuendo nor slight disappointed tone on her question, she wants to know if he enjoys dancing without asking him bluntly.  
“Half the population likes music. I hadn’t visited that one” he looks at her surprised “Just because you not know something about me because you not ask me... is you who not asks” she answers.  
“So how did it go?” Nathan asks holding James and playing with his chewing toy.  
“We did some flexibility and resistance exercises. PT adviced exercises to do to stretch for when is tense or sore, try to prevent possible muscle spasms.” She says happily. “Some snacks?” She stands, Nathan nods. She goes to the kitchen, absent mindly stretches her shoulder while sitting. They put cartoons for James.  
“You need a shoulder massage?” Nathan asks her.  
“You’ve done a lot today, nevermind, I just need some resting, thanks.”   
“Go get some sleep then. I can stay until 8pm, that’s 90 minutes” Nathan offers.  
“What kind of host would I be? Have you sitting for 4 hours, and half the time me sleeping?” She asks him.  
“Just delegating to meet your needs. Nothing wrong with that. You rather run out of spoons?” He tells her, bringing the two unused spoons from the lookout from his shirt pocket.  
“You kept them?”she asks as he nods  
“Extra spoons are ready any time you need them” he comments making her smile.  
“You’ve already done a lot. Sitting, bought him toys. Now extra spoons. How would I pay that back?”   
“You don’t have to. Found family is not a commercial deal.” Nathan says. They fall silent.  
“Anyways, about tomorrow. I sent you the list. You are cooking your favourite meal, what is your second favourite? Let me at least cook that as a thank you?”   
“I’ll be happy with anything you like to cook.” Nathan replies.  
“You are unfairly bad at that game.” Paige comments a bit frustrated.  
“What game?” Nathan asks confused.  
“Um, whatever you name it, friendship, found family, get to know each other. You offer to sit James but not say what your favourite meal is?” Paige reasons him.  
“Favourite is pancakes. Other favourites are not american. So cook what you prefer, I’ll be happy with it” he offers.  
“So you’ll be ok if I cook snails and chocolate?” She replies, he makes a disgusted face. “See, not anything. So tell me. I may have good intuition but I’m not a mind reader, express yourself. For being interested in Dracula at times you seem to fear I’d bite.”   
“Um, I like pasta, vegetables, fish. Paella, mac and cheese, salad.” Nathan replies looking surprised by her comment.  
“See, it wasn’t that difficult. Do that again, you’ll get snails and choco” she jokes.  
“You wouldn’t dare” he replies.  
“Don’t press my buttons” Paige jokingly warns.  
“I’ll come to think you not liked the PT, or you get fussy when you are in denial you are running out of spoons. I suggested you to get a shoulder massage or some sleep.” Nathan reminds her, waving the spoon.  
“Very funny. I am not going to sleep while having guests” she insists.  
“Ok then. Close your eyes” Nathan tells her. “Fear not, is something nice” she does. He picks something from the block box and places it in her hands. She softly feels he texture.  
“Gloves? They are lovely. Thanks” she says happily smiling.   
“Cookie saw them at the fair. It was their pick. They had other colours and designs.”  
“They are so lovely and warm. I have to attend next time” she says hugging him. “You truly are gold” she tells him. His phone buzz.  
“I had a really good time, but I should get going. Last night shift this week. Glad you liked. See you tomorrow. Good night” Nathan says standing up and quickly hugging her. James gestures to be hold up too. Paige hold him up. James keeps gesturing with his hands to be approached to Nathan, so Paige does. James gestures still.  
“Quick learner” she comments as James kisses Nathan’s cheeck. Both smile happily.   
“Be a good kid” Nathan tells him. “Good rest” he tells her and finally gets in the Bronco.  
He takes a bit to turn the engine on. He needs a moment. James has gave him goodbye. And is just him second guessing or was she disappointed by his answer, he not danced. Why? Why does she want to know if he danced? Oh, wait. He can’t help but remember that time in the high school case where he and Audrey danced while surveilling the event to find the suspect. And well, those other times. He smiles to himself, blushes, cleans his throath and finally turns on the engine. 

Saturday, 28 january 2012  
Midday  
Nathan and Paige exchanged messages that morning. She is coming over at 1pm. Nathan gets things ready. Since she was curious he has gotten some of the cross-stitches works out from the garage boxes. Before going to the living room he gives a quick look at Audrey’s portrait on his office library. How much he misses her. He has set some of the garden flowers in the rooms.  
As expected she knocks on the door at 1pm. He happily opens the door for them. Cookie running around the stroller, James waving. She sets some of her cooking cutlery from a portable pocket she has crochetted..   
“I am just used to mines” she replies. They had debated about the utensil to cook. “I’ll prepare mine first”  
“Yes. Got the pasta this morning” he tells her. She sits James on the couch. He shows her the living room, she notices the many books on the library, the picture with the fishing friends, another of a younger Nathan and Sam and 4 other people, a third of Nathan and who she assumes are his parents, and a sort of collage of Nathan with different people yet in their teens holding a, letter?, as she gets curious.  
“They are Sam’s family, my parents, and those are my penpals, we are holding the first letter we sent to each other, when I finally met them in Spain in 1992”. He is smiling, she smiles too.  
“You have a lot of penpals” she comments, he looks a bit hesitant “I think is cute” she concludes. She notices the vynils and cassettes on one corner, the portaits near the door.  
“You look a lot like her” Paige comments on Elizabeth’s which makes him, blush? He quickly looks down then at James so she gets to cooking. Nathan notice she is very methodical. She asked him to cook alone for starters.  
But for the filling, both Nathan and James approach the table.  
“If you keep snooping around to figure out my secret ingredient I will have double berries later” she jokingly threats.  
“Ok. How small do I mince the fillings? Cooking together is funnier than alone. I used to help my mom. And we talked about this and that. Well I mostly infodumped about my special interests” Nathan replies.  
“Infodump, special interest. Are you autistic?” She asks him neutrally.  
“Proudly so. So, you really rather cook alone?” Nathan asks.  
“I am used to it” paige replies.  
“I am also single most my life, still cooking with someone is funnier” he replies. She looks at him quizzically. “Like in Waitress. Hadn’t you watched that movie?” Nathan replies.  
“Is a romantic movie. Her ex was abusive, the doctor cheats on his wife. I did not read you as liking those movies” Paige replies.  
“I not paid attention to that part, but the cooking and the baby was cute”   
“Are you aware that cooking together is generally seen as very domestic and quite intimate?” She asks him. He looks quizzical, why does she says that?  
“What? Reading the recipe and do the filling. Is friendly, creative, collaborative. What do other people do while cooking?” Nathan says confused. She smiles to herself.  
“You really had been single a long time. You cooked with your partner the same way as with a friend?” Paige asks him. He looks confused.  
“No, I did not. That’s why you not want I cook with you?” Nathan asks confused. She glances at James.  
“I did not say that. Ok, do the vegetables” she concedes before he returns to the coach. He nods. He is wondering why she said that. Is confusing him. Had she thought of him like that? Should they clear that out? Has he actually flirted with her and he is unaware of it? Where is Dwight when he needs that help? Wait, is just she has feelings for him?  
“Mind your fingers you are cutting too close” she tells him. He nods. They do the filling together.  
While the lasagna is on the oven, after they clean the utensils used, they sit on the couch. He brings a wooden box from under the coffee table.  
“You were curious about the cross-stitch the other day, I looked around the old boxes and found some” Nathan says passing her the box. She opens it curiously. She is amazed at each work.  
“She was really really good at it. Combined tones so wonderfully, is like a picture.” Paige replies gently squeezing his hand. They play with James and the blocks until the oven rings. Lasagna is ready. Nathan helps get it out safely. They rest the caserole on the table, as James gets fussy and hungry while the main course cools off, Paige gets James puree ready. Since he has one more teeth he likes it less light. He is liking vegetables other than carrot.  
When his puree is finished James wants Nathan to hold him to sleep, and soon he falls asleep. Paige has picked that Nathan mumbles him some lullaby she has never heard before.  
“Which lullaby is that?” She asks him curious.  
“Um, I see the world through you, is from a portuguese musician, Sam loves their music, that song is mostly cute and relaxing” Nathan comments.  
James sleeps on his carrier and they get on the lasagna. Is really really good. Once is eaten he starts with the pancakes, she looking behind him.  
“Fair game. Same rule, no snooping nor helping” Nathan says half serious half playful.  
“You helped me.” She replies.  
“See? Not easy to be quiet, right?” He says. “Ok, come on. I let you choose. Liquid or seeds?” He asks, she looks confused, he gets out sesame seeds and a Porto bottle.   
“Both?” She replies. Once the mixture is ready he cooks them, quickly plating them adding double berries for her.  
“Really good extra” she comments tasting the first bite. He nods happily. Once they are finished he offers coffee. She nods. James still asleep. Cookie sat on his side. He serves the coffee, as she likes. She tries not to read all his small details as romantic but she can’t help it, makes it so personal and comfortable. She wonders if he’s always been that oblivious. She seems to had zoned out.  
“Penny for you thoughts?” He asks her.  
“I got the groups assigned today. We start the 3, next week. Lizzie is in one of my groups. They had yet not approved the reading program I suggested” she suddenly replies. He would had bet she was thinking of something else, she was smiling.  
“She’ll be happy to know. She is fond of you” Nathan replies.  
“I noticed. I don’t see why” Paige replies.  
“I don’t gossip but Sam and Julia told me about the romance curiosity while fishing the other day. I guess Julia is right. If she is curious, you are the only person she can go to. You are a young single mom, so is assumed you dated. Julia has returned recently. Sam and Nora are too close friends of Dwight for her to trust they won’t comment to him whatever she asks them” Nathan reasons.  
“Assuming much, I could had perfectly never dated and got pregnant of James from a random donor at a reproductive clinic. Anyways why do you count yourself out? Too close friend to Dwight too?” Paige asks him.  
“Um, if you had not noticed I am, always have been, quite oblivious to the topic of romance. Yes, I had dated, but what most read as romance I read as platonic, or domestic affection. Like what you commented about cooking. For me is not romantic per se, is relaxing collaboration, creative time, not flirty. I am cluless about flirty, and apparently I do that, or is read as such. It takes me a lot to figure out myself that either someone likes me or that I actually like someone. And yes I had cooked with my partner, I know the difference. To sum up, she knows I am quite more clueless than her” Nathan comments.  
“So, if someone is flirty with you, you are uncomfortable? You are never flirty with someone? You not feel romantic attraction?” Paige asks neutrally.  
“Depends on the moment, the style. I don’t know what example to give you to understand. Whenever I am flirty I tend to fail miserably. I only had a partner that got that right. I am not sure I felt it with anyone else. I don’t know what that makes me other than aromantic” Nathan tells her.  
“The woman everyone knows but nobody talks me about. She must had been really special.” She comments, he looks at her confused. “There’s nothing wrong with being aromantic. I am pandemisexual. Romance, is not my forte either. My relationships were not really like that either.” She replies.  
“Oh that’s why the beanie. I knew it. Me too by the way” he says.  
“You too? Nice, something to talk about if you want” she smiles friendly.  
James wakes up, and after playing a bit she says her goodbyes and returns home finding their conversation as interesting as confused, because then it means what she read as flirty was not? Is he aware? Should she tell him next time? Is not like she not likes it, but ... she wouldn’t like to damage their friendship for a misunderstanding. Her phone buzzes. He had sent her an email.  
“The ‘lullaby’ you asked about. Nice playlist yours too” he added a link to the song.  
Paige listens to the track, she wonders why Nathan lullabies that one to James, she recalls him saying some lines when he cooes him “run, run my sparkling light, have your fun and then come home at night, i’m sure you tell me something new” “i’ll catch you on the hardest falls, i’ll carry you inside these walls”. She not seem to had noticed but her cheeks are wet of tears. She does not know why they seem to have such a bond with each other, if they hadn’t met before. She wonders what is behind those recent deja vus. How can she figure those out?


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first half of the chapter is case oriented, so warning: the suspect is someone stealing phone digital contents.  
> Also Orphan Black’s Mika makes a brief cameo via IRC conversation.  
> There is some mention of PT treatments for Erb’s palsy.   
> New OC character, Sandra, has Klumpke’s palsy.   
> Luke drives with a Spinner Knob on the steering wheel. (Ref: mobilityworks website)  
> New appearing: Hannah Driscoll, Bobby, Dylan Rafferty, Rebecca Rafferty.  
> Paige talks about the last flash she had.
> 
> I had not thought of a title, so it goes As “5”

Sunday, 29 jan 2012

Hannah and her now adopted son Bobby are back in Haven too. She had politely texted Nathan a bit after they cross by at the bakery some days back. Nathan uses to go around the church for Cookie to walk, run and play fetch. By the church backyard he finds Bobby reading a Marvel comic. Cookie tries to get his attention to play fetch too. Nathan and Bobby talk about the comic vs the movie versions. Before they know it Hannah joins in.  
“Bobby, we have to get going. Um, hi. I didn’t knew you were here.” Hannah tells Nathan.   
“We were talking about comics. How are you doing? Need help there?” Nathan offers refering to the church.  
“Is fine. Glad you are befriending each other. He has an interesting collection.” Hannah tells Bobby.   
“Yeah, somewhere at home.” Nathan says rubbing his nape.  
Soon they share goodbyes. What none of them know is that Paige passed near by with James and saw them talking. She thought of stopping by, but she not knows her, it would had been awkward. Luckily Cookie didn’t notice and James was asleep to had shouted at them.

4pm  
Later that day at the park, Vicky is with Aaron and Monica, another mother, her child Mark, already walks. They go to the same daycare. Monica has been playing some casual game on her phone. While Monica goes to get an ice cream for them a men approaches her, he tells her something, she discuss in whisper. He tries to hold her wrist but she returns to the benches as he leaves with an annoyed look. As she sits to check her phone, the device stopped working.  
“I must had run out of battery.” Monica comments.  
“What did he want?” Vicky asks her.  
“I don’t know. To accompany him somewhere. I not paid much attention. I never saw him before” Monica comments.  
“He seemed aggressive. Did he threaten you?” Vicky asks her concerned.  
“I not paid attention. He told me something about a phone. I thought he wanted to give me his number” Monica explains.  
“A phone, and now yours not works? Wait a moment” Vicky reasons and quickly approaches the ice cream cart. Tom says his phone works well. Vicky asks him to ask other customers about it. One by one Tom texts her, all the customer phones were working fine. So what happened with Monica’s and why she is so laid back about it?   
“Monica, I won’t report but, did he threaten you somehow? Because is quite strange your phone stopped working after he approached you.” Vicky tells her concerned.  
“Surely is just the battery. Is an old model.” Monica replies giving a weak smile. Vicky is not convinced that’s the case but lets it be.  
As she leaves Aaron back at Gloria’s, she comments her about the incident. They decide to let it pass for now. To not forget his looks Vicky draws what she remembers he looked like.

Monday, 30 january 2012  
Paige is trying to get everything ready for the semester. Get a good routine for her and James. She is glad it was just a cold. She sets an appointment for that thursday with doctor Mann, about the possible side effects of the medications she had as a child but really she is fine. As per habit she appoints to get a haircut that wednesday too, like every new semester, is not like she is superstitious or anything, is just habit.  
She attends a board meeting in both the Elementary School and the Middle School. She got assigned 8 groups. And surprise, will be tutor of one of them in each level, which means two days a week, along with the other two for theatre and the one for her PT, James will have to be an extra hour in daycare in the afternoon. She looks the list of the assigned groups. Lizzie is in her 4thD group. 240 students to teach that year. 240 names to remember and not confuse. She not liked her name confused as a student, she not likes to confuse a student name either. She will confuse names for a while no matter what.  
She left the poster for the theatre group on the students announcement board in both levels.

5pm  
Nora is with her sister Amelia and her niece Ava at the park, and the phone incident repeats again. Nora texts Sam about it, so Sam tells Nathan. Nora, Amelia and Ava go to the local phone technician in town. New battery on, the device still not works. So the sisters go back home, Nora tries to help Amelia to stay calm, prepared her a chamomile tea. Soon arrive Sam and Nathan.   
“So, Amelia after he touched your wrist you felt the phone vibrate and it stopped working?” Nathan asks her trying to figure out how that could be. She nods.  
“Can you access the digital copy of your phone content?” Nathan asks her. Amelia had not thought of that. She checks on Nora’s laptop. The content is gone. Someone hacked it.  
Amelia is so overwhelmed. Why did that happen?  
“How do I get that back?” Amelia asks concerned.  
“You want to formally report that?” Nathan quietly asks her. She nods vehemently. “Can you come by the station for the sketch of the suspect? I’ll check about retrieving the content” Nathan offers and Nora, Amelia, Ava and him go to the station. Nora holds Ava, Nathan waves at Ava who giggles and waves back, while Rebecca fills in Amelia’s report. Later as Amelia describes the suspect to the sketch artist, Vickie pays attention and it sounds familiar.  
“I saw him too. Around 4pm. Yesterday by the ice cream cart. A mom he talked to, her phone stopped working. I asked Tom then, nobody else had such problem. She was the only person he talked to. She not wanted to report. So, her content is gone too?” Vickie tells them.  
Everyone looks at her worried.  
“None of you had seen him before? But he was in the same park both times. Time varies. Where did he come from and left?” Nathan reasons.  
Nathan quickly orders to check on the cameras near the park to figure out the suspects route.  
“Ok, he probably does not know we are onto him, so that is an advantage. Try to stay calm. Keep your usual routine. We will surveillance the park area. We’ll get him.” Nathan tells Amelia. Amelia is still distressed but leaves with Nora.  
Since the route in both cases is the same, Nathan orders to check the two previous weeks aswell as the cameras advancing that route to figure out where the suspect might stay. The further it gets is near Julia’s home. Nathan orders an undercover surveillance of that park in that time frame.  
As Nathan gets back home around 8pm, while he is dining he logs in on IRC, it’s been years since he frequented that to chat. He hopes the ID still works. He has noted the data of Amelia’s phone aswell as the first report about the cameras.  
“To 3MK29A: I need you to track something.” Nathan texts. Waiting. Waiting. She may reply after a few days.  
“From 3MK29A: work related? Send me the data to that mirror. 10 minutes.” she replies quickly. He sends the data he has gathered. The cameras, the code for Amelia’s phone, she allowed him to.  
“To 3MK29A: Could you track any device the suspect might had on him by then? They hacked at least two phones in person in two days. All content is gone even on digital copy. Both times at the park”   
“From 3MK29A: I’ll update you as soon as possible.”  
Dwight texts him “fishing this saturday? Did you knew Paige will be Lizzie’s tutor this semester?”   
“If the current case is closed by friday I’ll can. I had no idea. She happy with that?”   
“I know, confidential and all, but I was in HPD too, if somehow I can help. You kidding? She is estactic. She wants to join the reading program, the theatre.”   
“I’ll keep you updated. Btw does Lizzie and her friends go to the park between 3pm to 6pm? If they see that person they better get back home. He’s been hacking phones in the park. We are after him. If the town gets in panic the suspect will know and change their M.O. we are surveilling the park but still” Nathan tells him.  
“I’ll check on that. Had you told Paige? Most mothers from Sam’s daycare go there too, some do around that time” Dwight reasons him.  
Quickly he shutdowns his computer and goes to her place. He not checks the time, although is dark outside. Updating seems more relevant. He goes walking with Cookie.  
She takes a bit to open the door.  
“Nathan? Everything fine? You could had texted” Paige tells him confused. She was reading upstairs.  
“Um, sorry, if it is a bad moment.” He apologises, now noticing she is right.   
“I was just reading. Anyways come on in” she invites him in. Cookie rests next to the crib in the living room. He stays stand in the middle of the living room. He glances at the empty portable crib.  
“He is asleep. Past sunset.” Paige explains pointing upstairs seeing he looks curious. He nods. He does not know well how to proceed. He worries about their safety, but not want to seem intrusive nor worry her too much either.  
“Snacks?” She offers. He gives an unreadeable expression, not yes nor no. She is confused he came by unannounced and now looks conflicted for some reason. They had not texted after the lunch. She figured he was busy, as he figured the same about her. Both missed that, but also needed some distance. After what he told her she has been confused about how he reads closeness then, if he not sees the many acts he does as other than friendship. It just confuses her. Does it mean he is ok with that? Does that make him uncomfortable? And that flash. What was that? Anyways it was him who offered to babysit James.  
“Dwight told me you are going to be Lizzie’s tutor” Nathan comments her as she sits on the couch. She looks confused. Has he come over just to tell her that?  
“Been told so.” She comments, he nods. “Have you came over just to tell me that?” She asks.  
“Um, no. Is about a current case. Is confidential but” he pauses, rubs his nape and approaches her showing his phone “there’s a suspect around the main park. Time frame between 3pm to 6pm. We are yet tracking them down. Park is going to be surveilled since tomorrow. Have any parent told you about them talking to them or had you saw him around?” Nathan tells her showing her the sketch. She looks half confused half concerned.  
“I don’t remember had seen him around nor a parent telling me that. Is he dangerous?” She asks worried. He rest his palm on her forearm for comfort. She looks down. He looks towards her concerned.  
“He talked with two people. Both cases the phone stopped working, no digital copy of the content either” Nathan explains her. She is shocked.  
“How can he do that?” Paige says confused.  
“We are on to that. We are focusing all resources we have on that case.” He replies, she nods unconvinced. He is not sure how else to reassure her, she seems tense about something else and he is not sure what that is. She seems a bit distant.  
“Are you ok?” He asks her. She nods. “You seem tense about something” he comments concerned. How could she explain if she is confused about that herself? She takes time to reply.  
“Well, I just got told the park were I take my son to everyday is unsafe, I don’t know since when. I am yet quite new in town. I am a teacher for 240 students this semester. 240 families, should I suspect of any man in town now and not talk to any of them, because what if is the suspect? 240 students to which can happen the same incident to their phones. Is not cheerful news” she tries to reason. It confuses Nathan. He showed her the sketch, is not any men in town, is that person.  
“We’ll get him.” He replies gently resting his hand on her upper arm. she looks down, again. “Is your arm in pain?” He asks concerned. Is not the injured one, right?  
“Is fine. Don’t worry. Thanks for telling me” she quickly tells him standing up. They walk to the door “Hopefully HPD arrest him soon. Take care” she quickly squeezes his hand, he nods a bit confused but leaves. Why was she acting like that every time he tried to comfort her? Did he do something wrong? Focus on the case Nathan, he thinks to himself.  
Before he goes to sleep, after a long while he notes his current confusion on a diary, is a habit that Leo Mann adviced him about in his teens to help him with the nightmares, manage stress, confusion, being conflicted or frustrated.  
Still the case brings back worries and hurtful memories which causes him nightmares again.

Tuesday, 31 january 2012   
Before going to work Nathan checks the IRC. 3MK29A has managed to track the suspect’s phone. Nathan notes the data and he organizes the operation with the team. Mika also managed to locate the area where the suspect stays according to the phone triangulation. She also did check other data related to the registry email on the phone. The name seems too fake to be real “Weedy Speeds”. The suspect has frequented some dangerous chatrooms lately. Why those never seem to shutdown and keep creating such monsters still? Again that places the suspect near Julia’s home. Nathan decides to go to the area as undercover as possible with Rebecca. During the two hours of stakeout they not see the suspect moving there. Every home had any movement but for 4. One of them Julia’s, and the home in front of her. From Rebecca’s conversation, seems like her son, Dylan is going to be another one of Paige’s students.  
“Are you home?” Nathan texts Julia.  
“I’m at work. Need to talk about something in particular? You know the shrink is Dylan not me, right?” Julia texts him back.  
“Work related. Saw him around your neigbourhood?” Nathan replies attaching the sketch.  
“I barely stop by home. I’ll ask about it” Julia replies. Nathan not seems that convinced.   
“Movement on the left” Rebecca warns.  
Dylan Mann is coming out of Julia’s home. At midday? After he texts her? Nathan wonders about the timing coincidence. He considers to ask him, but as far as he knows Dylan not lives in the neigbourhood so is likely he’ll say the same as Julia.

During lunch Nathan goes for a walk. He is still confused about Paige. Did he do something wrong? He don’t want to bother Dwight about that. He decides to check about Amelia by visiting Sam at daycare. Being honest he also misses seeing James that week.   
“Everything fine?” Sam comments him. He gives a weak smile.  
“I was coming over to ask you the same about Amelia.” Nathan comments.  
“Well she is worried about where the content went. The company can’t retrieve it either. Is like poof, gone.” Sam says, Nathan nods. They fall silent briefly. “Just when Nora and I were talking about forming a family” Sam comments. Nathan looks up, suddenly happy, before he speaks.  
“Just talking. There’s quite a lot to consider yet.”   
“You’ll both be great parents” Nathan comments them.  
“Well, I don’t know. True I work in daycare. But if something bad would happen to them, I don’t know how could I keep going. I know I have all of you.” Sam tells him patting his hand. They glance at James.  
“It had to happen” Nathan comments, although the memory still hurts.   
“But they are back” Sam offers.  
“I am not that sure. She not remembers. And I don’t know why she seems distant since last saturday.” Nathan says concerned.  
“What is the last thing you talked about?” Sam asks curious.  
“Um, I told her, explained that I am not romantic. That I can’t tell if some gesture is flirting. She was concerned if that was uncomfortable for me. She seems curious about Audrey, but I don’t know how to tell her, how to explain. She did cry on me while James was in the hospital. We texted. I sent her the lullaby. And now is silent. Did I do something wrong?” Nathan asks. Sam squeezes his hand for comfort.  
“She deserves to know. She’ll have to know at some point. Do you think she is overthinking something? Maybe she is a bit confused about something you did say or did not say. You know for some people some things take a while to process. You should give her time, eventually talk to her about the concerns. Clear it out” Sam advices him which earns them one of his ‘but I don’t know how’ looks. “Do you want me to talk to her?” Sam offers. He briefly considers.  
“I’ll talk to her” Nathan resolves. As he walks back to the station he sees the toy shop has new teddies. He can’t help but take a quick picture of them.   
Once the shift is over he stops by at Julia’s unnanounced. The living room light is on so he knocks at the door.   
“Nathan?” Two voices ask confused opening the door. Nathan looks at them surprised.  
“Come on in. You had dinner?” Julia offers. Nathan enters and sits on the couch.  
“Julia told me about the suspect. Just in case I checked my records. None match the suspect. By the end of that street there is a parking lot with some caravans. Maybe the suspect stays there. That said, in front there’s a guy that rarely goes out. Arrived recently, asked about the internet. He not shops, only orders online. Almost every morning there is a delivery to their place. I don’t know if that could help” Dylan explains. Nathan is surprised by the precise bunch of information, given that Dylan not lives there. Apparently that confusion is clear in his expression.  
“Stop wondering. Yes, there’s something between Dylan and me. I never explained about that, and never will. Is that going to be weird now?” Julia explains. Dylan looks hesitant waiting for Nathan’s answer. Nathan quickly ponders, why would it be weird?   
“No problem. I’m happy for you two.” Nathan honestly smiles, it was about time. “Back about the suspect. Did he say any name? Any delivery more often than others? Local delivery?”   
“Um, Duncan something. No local deliveries” Dylan replies.  
As he was invited they all enjoy dinner together. They talk about their teens. Nathan was the first person Dylan told him about himself being transgender, and the most supportive when they were at College. Julia was the second. Dylan is thankful he’s been supported by them. When he told his dad, Leo was surprised, but supportive as much as possible. After exchanging their goodbyes Nathan checks his phone and as he gets back home, Cookie by his side, he sends her the toys pictures. “They got new ones” he texts her. Paige writes but deletes several times. James was cuddled by her side on the couch and offers her the dog teddy.   
“Seems he prefers the dog ones now, just gave me that one. Week going fine? Sorry for yesterday. I, the news shocked me. Good progress?” Finally she replies.   
“Is ok, I understand. Working on it. Hopefully will be closed by the weekend. Plans?” He replies.  
“Well, class starts on friday, PT too. I got assigned tutor, and the theatre group for each level. That is 5 more hours in daycare for James. And february is coming up. Seeing my luck I’ll get something assigned for the festivity” Paige replies quickly, then panics. Why did she say that, to him?  
Unusual for him, he replies each line on an individual bubble dialogue. Why? Just when she goes to reply back a new text arrives. Is like he were rambling or something. “Enjoy PT with your friends. He’ll enjoy daycare too. You not like february? Has that been stressing you?” She goes to reply again, and again a new message arrives this one another image. The two spoons. “Need some extra ones?” That makes her smile. She not texts. Nathan wonders why. He goes to text to ask but before he sends, she quickly texts him, each word on a new bubble. “Let. Me. Talk.” He nods and waits.  
“Firstly, thanks I will. Luke told me about another friend, Sandra, we may meet soon, she has Klumpke’s. Secondly, I know he does, is well cared, making friends and learning, but still. Thirdly, I am quite indifferent, but it would mean again less time with James and he is growing so fast already. Fourthly, I am not stressed, well maybe a bit nervous by the semester. Fifth, that means an ice cream invitation once the case is over?, because you know, ice cream helps me to keep stress low but you figure how nice it is to get ice cream now” she replies quickly.   
Nathan reads the text over and over. Is she offended? Why is she enumerating? So she made weekend plans then? Good.  
“How different is Klumpke’s? Challenge accepted then. Ice cream once the case is over, celebratory de-stress?” Nathan replies.  
“Klumpke’s affects the wrist and fingers, they are flexed. As Erb’s affects the shoulder blade and at times the hand too. I’d explain you better in person. Or you could meet them in person at some point too. No plans for the weekend yet.” She replies and quickly finds an image for Erb’s and another for Klumpke’s and sends it to him. He figures that stress surely affects the nerves and causes pain. Has she been more stressed than she said? Had she been in pain and she not wanted him to know? Is that why she seems distant?  
“I’ll be glad to meet them. Which are their hobbies? So no ice cream then?” Nathan replies.  
“From what Luke told me, Sandra is quite a gamer and steampunk cosplayer too. You were wondering about the genre, you can ask her, she knows about that one a lot more than I do. You really want to catch the suspect just to have ice cream by the weekend?” Paige replies amused. James looks at her curiously.   
“Interesting. I’ll ask her. Ice cream seems a good motivation to close a case, plus gives extra spoons” Nathan replies adding an ice cream emoji. That makes her both smile and eye roll. James shouts content and lays on her belly.   
“Ok, I don’t know what teaming you have with James but he agrees to the ice cream. Just catch him so the town is back safe.” She replies quickly, before he answers she adds “be careful”.  
“You know, is just Gold connection. Good week” he texts her adding a list of ice cream flavours. She smiles and fidgets nervously with a bracelet. James waves happily. 

Wednesday, 1 february 2012

Paige gets James early in daycare, she told Sam about her working schedule, specially on fridays. She has moved her PT hour from 5pm to 6pm too. Because school would finish at 4pm, and she’ll need some time to eat and rest from 8 hours of work with no pause other than recess.  
As she arrives in Elementary school the principal updates her on the theatre group. Lizzie joined. And the reading progam. Lizzie joined too. She gets the updates for Middle school too. Thankfully the buildings are next to each other. 8 classes, 8 levels, last 3 in Middle School. 240 names to remember in 8 hours on friday. Challenge accepted. Theatre will start next week for Elementary on monday and Middle on wednesday, to give the students time to join or not in the final list. Same with tuition for both levels, starts next week. As appointed she goes to the hairdresser. Gets the usual haircut. Although the hairdresser, Amelia compliments her hair and offer a nice style like braiding, Paige politely declines. What is the point if she can’t keep it herself? She can’t do a talll ponytail herself without micro-injuring, which means weeks on painkiller afterwards. She has gotten curious about the woman that everyone seem to know about but never talk. So when she is back home she researches a bit. To her surprise they look a like so much, is like a doppelganger. You shouldn’t had rewatched “The vampire diaries” she thinks to herself. But how do they look so alike? When she applied for the job she didn’t expect such a surprise. Should she ask someone there? How? Why do they look alike? Why nobody told her that? Are they both related somehow? 

Meanwhile in the station another two people, two males without children, have reported the same incident about their phone, while leaving the post office someone stopped them by. Nathan had asked both Tom and the local phone techs to collaborate and encourage them to formally report the infident to the HPD. Meanwhile they keep track on the suspect physical and digital whereabout specially any clue on what is happening with the content and private data stolen, on that last part 3MK29A is helping a lot. As soon as she updated Nathan that some stolen data is being used on new registries back on those dangerous forums and on online shopping, Nathan organises the arrest. He got legal permission for that. Dylan and Julia are helping too, checking that Duncan in fact has not left home that morning but for the short time frame in which the two new incidents happened around that morning. Dylan morses Nathan on a walkie-talkie. So the patrol gets on the move to arrest Duncan. Since nobody is sure if he is armed or not the ones entering first are well protected. There they get Duncan. Everything around him points as he is who has been stealing the phones contents. In fact the page he was browsing shows data from Amelia. They arrest him and get him to the station’s jail by midday. That went quite quick, partly because Duncan was moving faster so had to be stopped. Rebecca gets Duncan’s statement. Although Nathan is present too, he rather not talk much. He is angry about Duncan not collaborating much. Once that is over. Nathan messages Mika to see if she can help further and retrieve the content stolen, because it seems is gone on Duncan devices, he was after the emails data only and deleted everything else.

At 4pm Paige picks up James. Day is so long at home and him in daycare but both have to get used to that. He is babbling vowels and consonants forming basic syllabes now, although he not seems to associate any meaning to that yet, which is normal. Mostly he uses ba, da, ga, pa, ta, ca. She encourages him by resding him sentences with those phonetics, trying he says other vowels, like o or i. Yet he looks confused an repeats his version instead. Like ‘no, mom mine is correct, is tata’. Once during one of those phonetic exchanges he mixed both, coming up with “biba” then “bibi”. Well, they’ll get there at some point.   
While they are having one of those phonetic exchanges her phone buzzes.  
“Got him. Still retrieving the stolen content. Good day?” Nathan texts her.  
“You really want that ice cream, don’t you?” Paige jokes. He looks at his phone confused and begins to type back. She quickly sends a funny emoji and text “joking. Great work.” Paige replies.  
“So good groups?” Nathan replies.  
“Well, I got assigned 8 groups, 2 of them also as tutor, plus two theatre groups. Wanna bet how long it takes me to remember all plus 240 names?” Paige jokes.  
“I didn’t pick you as a gambler. Counting on the ‘depends’, cooking challenge, ice cream challenge, now betting on names” Nathan jokes back.  
“You started the counting not me. And cooking was a tie. So, ice cream?” She asks.  
“Friday after PT?” he asks hesitantly. Quickly adding “so Sandra explains me about Steampunk” Nice save Nathan.   
“Ok. Lookout?” She really not feels like going to the main park just yet. He is a bit confused she choose that place specially on a friday but figures she liked the bay view. He replies with a thumbsup icon.  
That comment about her probably bad memory reminds him of Audrey when she not seemed to get the names of the other station members. It was so amusing seeing that. He poked some fun at her with that.   
“Babysitter during PT?” Nathan asks, rubbing his nape.  
“Daycare. Rescheduled with Sam. But thanks. Will be off by 7pm, for ice cream.” Paige replies.

Thursday, 2 february 2012  
Paige attends the session with Dylan. She is a bit nervous about how it might be like. She had tried to not overthink about her research on Audrey but still she wonders. Maybe talking with Dylan would help her to have a rational approach to that, right?  
After a quick evaluation involving which are her coping mechanisms and conclude that generally are healthy, they talk about bottled up emotions. She is also thinking yet about what Nathan told her, it confuses her but mostly she not wants to make him uncomfortable but doesn’t know how to tell him.  
“Session is yet not over but I read you are worried about something else yet. Care to tell me?” Dylan asks her. She is a bit hesitant but decides to tell him.  
“This may sound unusual. A friend told me something about them which confused me since then. I don’t know how to clear that with them, but I fear to make them uncomfortable. What do I do?” Paige asks tapping her fingertips on the desk.   
“In which way does that confuses you? Does that something implies you?” Dylan asks her.  
“Well, not really me, but it confuses me because we were getting closer, is quite affectionate and caring and kind.” Paige replies.  
“You are worried about your boundaries now? Boundaries are personal. If you feel you have to talk about them, talk about them. That saves misunderstandings. You can’t get to a comfortable middle point if both sides not communicate. I understand it may seem awkward but is not. In the long run is much better, and healthier” Dylan replies. She ponders for a while.  
“I know. But then there is that dream and that women. Do doppelgangers exist? I thought it was something from fiction” Paige replies. Dylan looks curious so she continues. “I know that this will seem super strange but, one day that friend wore a jacket that seemed familiar althought I had never saw it before. Later that day about to fall asleep i had a flash. I was refered as Mara by another guy that I had never seen before, that felt so odd then it was that friend, we hugged and kissed. I had been so confused since then, because that means my subconscious like him like that or what? Then, I researched about the lady that had to leave, and we look so alike.” Paige rambles nervously.  
“You researched about that Mara?” Dylan asks her.  
“No, about Audrey Parker. She and the friend were together, I guess. I don’t know what that was. A deja vu? A memory? How can that be a memory, just now, if I had never been here before? How can I rationalise that?” Paige asks.  
“It seems to me that you have to talk to that friend. Surely will help you rationalise. What is what confuses you more about that? That you may like that person like that or that it was a random memory of someone you not know but seem to look alike?” Dylan asks her. Paige is puzzled.  
“Seriously? What do you think is the most ilogical of the two options?” She asks rhetorically.  
“The second. But could be possible. There were cases of people reminding past lives in quite clear detail. I’ll help you process if that were the case. So you still worry to talk to that friend about boundaries after that dream? Is it because of their gender?” Dylan replies.  
“There were cases? How are you so chill about that? Is that normal to remember that? And no, gender is no a problem, I’m pan. Is just ... I don’t know how to explain that” Paige replies her tapping faster.  
“I am here to help you. If that were your case, I’ll help you through the process. If is memories of a past life, is that, past. Not has to cause any problem in the present. The best one can do about past is accept it, yes that happened but now is different, is better. The attitude one has helps to overcome such conflicts. You should talk to that person about those boundaries now or you will find that same stone on the way time and time again. The best one can do with such stone is to transform it, build, create, change. Use that in your favour. That talk might be awkward but you’ll both feel more comfortable afterwards” Dylan reasons her.  
“Should I ask them about her too? Tell about the flash? Or what I found about her?” Paige asks.  
“If that would help” Dylan replies.  
“Conditional not helps to figure out yes or no” Paige complains. Nervously picks along the glove’s wristband that he gifted her.  
“Try this. Have you thought of the other side? Put yourself in their place?” Dylan asks her. Paige thinks for quite a while.  
“Well, they had been helpful, they seemed worried because I was a bit distant. Ok, I’ll figure out how to talk about that with them. Any advice how to?” Paige hesitantly asks.  
“Be comfortable and honest with yourself and them.” Dylan replies. Alarm buzzes, the session time is over. They exchange polite goodbyes and appoints for another week.

Friday, 3 february 2012  
Turns out the one reading the comic by the church is one of her students in 8thB. He also joined theatre and the reading program. He even suggested to make an open list in class for the readings that everyone reads along the semester to rank the favourite reading in class.  
In 7thA, a student named Dylan Rafferty, asks her a lot of questions. He mentions his mother is one of HDP. She socialises with other teachers during recess. Luke confirms her that Sandra will join them. They set the park as meeting point. She updates Nathan about the change of plans.  
“You’ll have time to pick up James? Do we reschudle for another time?” Nathan asks her.   
“Oh James. If it were by the lookout I could. Can you pick him up and meet us by the main park? The carrier?” Paige asks.  
“I could get him to daycare if that’s ok, drive you to PT keep the carrier in the car and drive him to the park later. Classes going well?” Nathan offers.  
“You have good upcoming detectives. Dylan in 7thB asks a lot, is very observant. Says his mom is HDP. Won’t you be bored that whole hour?” Paige asks him.  
“Yes, Dylan’s mom, Rebecca worked on the arrest. I’ll play fetch with Cookie. So, plan?” Nathan replies.  
“Ok, I hope,we can talk afterwards. I have some questions.” Paige replies. He reads the message over and over. When he is about to ask back she types again. “I had another flash” That freezes him for a second but replies with a thumbs up.

Nathan gets home after lunch, gets a quick shower and gets some well earned rest. Cookie wakes him poking his hand with their muzzle after his phone alarm buzzes but is not shutdown. Nathan mumbles and rolls to pat Cookie’s forehead. “Thanks buddy”. Seeing that Nathan not wakes up, Cookie goes to bark but Nathan makes a silent gesture, so Cookie picks his now silent phone, but when Cookie is about to drop it on the bed, the device buzzes again which startles Cookie so Cookie drops the device midway on the floor. Nathan gets up and gently hugs Cookie. Poor them got scared by the buzzing. Finally Nathan gets ready. He has some spare time yet so he checks for comics from the serie Bobby was reading for next time he sees him. Looking for that he finds the diaries, some them are unattached papers, from Audrey’s time. Maybe reread and organize them helps him figure out how to tell Paige about her. He knows she deserves to know but he just don’t know how to tell her.

He stops by Paige. James cheerfully clap as soon as he sees him. Nathan waves at him and James babbles. Nathan gets the carrier safely in the Bronco. Once she is ready they get in the car. She seems a bit different, he is not sure what is. He glances at her a couple times.   
They get to daycare. Sam greets them cheerfully. Paige stops by the counter looking for some document.  
“How can I help you?” Sam politely asks her.  
“You see, I’ll be busy the afternoons, so I am not sure I’ll can bring or pick him myself everyday. And you know for safety. Is there some document for, you know, people I authorize to bring or pick up James?” Paige replies.  
“Sure, no problem. Here you go. You can bring it later” Sam gives her the paper, glancing at Nathan who is as surprised as them.  
They go back to the car and she guides him where PT is. Soon greet them Luke and Sandra. Luke and Paige go to PT. Paige’s quick explanation about Klumpke’s is correct. Sandra’s left fingers are flexed. Nathan plays fetch with Cookie and talks with Sandra about steampunk and games. She tells him about the many subvariants steampunk has. Different styles. Even internal disagreements the community has had along the years, the convention’s she’s cosplayed in. Since there are one handed games that both like to play, they planned a tournament at some point. Sandra is witty and friendly.  
Soon Luke and Paige are back. Paige rubs her neck. Today they did some sensory and electrical stimulation of the shoulder, which felt so tingly it was almost painful at some point with the nerve contracting and relaxing, so now the neck feels a bit tense yet.  
“Session was ok?” Nathan asks her curious. She nods. Both go in the Bronco and Luke and Paige on his car. He drives an automatic with an authorized spinner knob on the steering wheel, a portable adaptation to can turn the wheel safely due to lowered strenght and movement range. Sandra pecks Luke’s lips before they get driving. Oh, they are a couple, that is why she was mentioning Luke quite often.   
“They’ll meet us at the park. James, remember?” Paige tells him. He nods. She looks at him curiously. They pick James who waves at them. To their disappointment the ice cream parlour is closed.   
They enjoy a nice talk all together anyways. At sunset James falls asleep in his carrier. He has not had dinner yet. Sandra and Luke say their goodbyes and leave.   
“She is witty. Knows a lot about steampunk. We may play a tournament of videogames some day” Nathan comments cheerfully.  
“You are a gamer too?” Paige asks him half surprised. He nods “Geek”.  
“So, dinner or those questions you had? Grey Gull is not far. My treat” Nathan offers. She nods.  
They get there and Nathan orders the same he did order the last time they were there, she orders ravioli. Nora prepares a puree for James first.   
“So, out for a celebratory dinner, you order the same as the other time?” Paige asks Nathan. He looks confused.  
“I liked it.” Nathan replies confused. Why the question? She looks at him curiously and nods.  
“I’ll give you bit if you want” Nathan replies.  
“I made my order, thanks. So you prefer routine, not unexpected changes or surprises?” Paige continues curious, she is trying to figure out hoe to tell him about the flash. Nathan is intrigued why is she asking that?  
“Are those the questions you had to talk to me about the flash?” Nathan asks, frown in confusion.  
“Um, maybe?. I just find it curious. I bet if the parlour would had been opened you would had ordered the same ice cream as the other time. You remember mine, right?” Paige asks him. He nods.  
“Vanilla and almond. Two halves. Not mixed. I am just observant” Nathan replies as she nods at each word.  
“So, you would not spontanously try something randomly new? Say let James choose from the chart? Say strawberry cheesecake?” Paige asks him. Nathan is still trying to figure out what brought that conversation. That last part just reminds him of Audrey, and knowing she mentioned another flash. He gives an astonished look as he gave to Sarah. What was the flash about?  
“He picked the lunch place” Nathan replies. She looks amused with the conversation for some reason. Is she just poking fun? A way to de-stress or bond?  
“Those were two possible options. Chart is a lot more random” Paige replies. Nathan glances at James confused.   
“Is that for the chart I sent you? You not picked any, so I guess, you’d repeat your previous order”   
“Oh, that waited a reply? I thought it was just a general reminder” she says humourless.  
“Why those questions?” Nathan asks confused.  
“Just wondering about the Gold connection. You texts, somehow he knows. You asks, somehow he replies. Is quite unusual. So I wonder how your choosing criteria works” Paige replies, didn’t she just said that questioning was about the flash? Nathan wonders. Why is she rambling?  
“He has your routines, obviously. It was him who asked for the music. When he notices a book by the coffee table he knows is reading time so he claps and waits to be read” Nathan replies.  
“For some reason he learns a lot faster with you. He is babbling, incoherent yet. I bet he’d repeat what you say. Is quite incredible” Paige replies, which makes Nathan give another astonished look. Is just what he said to Sarah. Has she had a flash about her? Why she brought James to the questioning? Does she know? That’s why she’s been distant lately?  
“So, that means you really not wanted ice cream? Was just James choice?” Nathan asks her.  
“I enjoy your company” Paige replies a bit later.  
They finish dining and drive back to her place since James had fallen asleep again. As she gets home James wakes up crying. Since James keeps protesting that he not want to get in the crib, Nathan offers to hold him and lull him. Now more calmed James little hands want to pat Cookie. So after Paige nods to Nathan, he approach them, gently holds his hand to guide him to pat Cookie. “Gentle” Nathan softly tells him. James giggles as he sees Cookie happy by the pat. Paige looks at the three interacting, smiles to herself. Nathan glances happily at her.  
“Very cute you three. But he needs a bath and getting some sleep. I’ll be back” Paige says the next time the two glance at her. She picks up James and gets him ready to bed.   
Nathan considers following but she sort of asked him to wait, so he does. There is a pending conversation after all. He absent mindedly pats at Cookie.  
“He fell asleep right after the bath. No tale reading” Paige says back in the living room “snacks?” She asks trying to get some time to figure out how to tell him about the flash and boundaries and Audrey. Is just so much. And to top it all she feels like she’s been too inquiring, too much poking fun, at the Grey Gull, just out of nervousness, yet is not an excuse, she knows. She gets back with a couple beers and some chips. Ok, conversation is about to get serious he reads.  
“Um, sorry about earlier. It has no excuse.” She apologises, he nods. “So, I had another flash. I did some research too about Audrey and what you told me last saturday had me quite confused about boundaries” Paige sort of rambles. Nathan nods at the topics, sipped by the middle one. So she had a flash about Audrey, not Sarah?  
“Ok. Step by step. The flash” Nathan offers.  
“Well, I hadn’t told you before. That hadn’t happened to me other than the wind chimes I told you about already. Maybe is just things that Julia told me did confuse me. Anyways I had another flash. It was quite confusing to process” Paige hesitantly replies. He nods.  
“Was it bad?” Nathan asks concerned, briefly pats her hand for comfort. She takes a deep breath again, looks down, nervously rubs her hands.  
“The other day when you were in black. The jacket. When we hugged. Later while I was half reading, half falling asleep. I had a flash. I don’t know if is a deja vu, a memory that I am suppoused to have for some reason that I still not understand well why. Please, don’t get it wrong. Is just how it was. I was in the lookout, there was a blonde blue eyed guy, I don’t remember his name, he was making some plan with me. But I was not me. It felt odd. He called me Mara” at that part Nathan freezes for a second, then nods at her to continue “Then I guess I tried to awake or something thinking it was a nightmare because it felt so odd. And then it was you there, hugging and kissing me, but I was not that Mara person. Nor it was me me. I had tried to find a logical sense to all of that. I even mentioned that to my psychologist, he said he would help in case is a past life memory or something. But I am clueless. I don’t know what it was. That other felt better to be, not because of you and what happened but that one had better harmony. I don’t remember anything about the conversation.” Paige explains getting embarrassed towards the part involving him. So she remembers something? Why Mara? How? Why? How should he proceed? No wonder she’s been distant lately. He helped Audrey figure it out. He should simply do the same. But how? Nathan rubs his nape, his face. Which she misunderstands as she has obviously offended him.  
“Ok. Before you arrived here. A lot of things happened here. I don’t know well how to explain to you, because I barely understand it all myself yet. What part do you wanna know first?” Nathan offers honestly.  
“The good harmony was Audrey, right? And you and her obviously were together. She just not had to go far away, right?” Paige asks curious.  
“Audrey. When Audrey Parker arrived here I helped her get out her car before it crashed off the cliff to the shore. She was an FBI agent and was sent for a case. Then she found out about a old picture on the local newspaper from the 80s” Nathan explains and glances at James’ empty portable crib “The resemblance with the woman on the picture, Lucy Rippley, was astonishing. So since she was an orphan, she wondered if she was related, so she stayed to investigate further. She quitted the FBI and joined HPD. Eventually we got together yes. And no, she not left happily, but it had to be” Nathan replies.  
“So, I am related to her too? How? Where her and Lucy related then? I did research a bit on Audrey. Seems like a doppelganger. I am not an orphan, well my dad left as soon as I was born” Paige asks.  
“You are not an orphan?” Nathan asks confused. That is a big change in the pattern.  
“No. James has a grandma, Charlotte, that spoils him to no end. So how come I could be related to Audrey?” Paige asks him curious.  
“I don’t know exactly how.” Nathan explains rubbing his face again, struggling how to explain her further. “I don’t know well how to explain you further right now. I can give you my diaries of that time, if that’ll help you understand. There are a lot of things that you deserve to know, I am sorry I not told you earlier. I thought you not had more flashbacks.” Nathan replies.  
“I’d rather you’ll tell me yourself. No pressure, little bits when you can. Just, I need to know that: if I would not had another flash or told you about it, you would had never told me?” Paige asks him.  
“I delayed just because I did not know how to tell you, because there is a lot.” He replies rubbing his nape again “You are so chill about it” Nathan replies surprised as now she looks relaxed now.  
“Why would I not be chill? The past can’t change, is just there. I am just curious about why that is happening, how am I related then.” Paige gently replies giving him a comforting smile. He takes a deep breath, his elbows resting towards his knees, his face between his hands. He is distressed. “If is too hard to talk about it yet, I understand. I won’t pressure. We’ll find a pace” she gently caress his hand. He nods. The other topics forgotten for now. She offers to watch a movie to de-stress. So they end up watching Finding Nemo. Before he leaves he gives her the part of the diaries about Audrey that he had in the glove compartment in the car.

Saturday, 4 february 2012  
Nathan is thankful he had set the fishing before last night conversation. Still there is a topic pending to talk about. His pattern reading mind is trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle. He has thought about the document she asked at daycare, the random comparison at the bar.   
He joins Dwight and Lizzie. Lizzie talks a lot about Paige. Dwight glances at Nathan. Soon Sam and Nora join them too. Nathan updates Sam about how the conversation went to try to help him fit the pieces of the puzzle.  
“So you think she’ll list you in the pick up list at daycare and that is why she asked you about the Gold connection at the bar?” Sam asks. Nathan ponders.  
“You know about his allergies? His blood type? Because those are important things to know if someone is going to be allowed that. At times if someone has to pick up a child unexpectedly is because of some accident that needs hospital, so that medical information should be known” Nora adds.   
“I know he has no allergies so far. His blood type, same as Paige I guess?” Nathan replies.  
“Blood type can be the father’s too” Nora replies.  
“Anyways if she‘d add you to the list, she would tell you. So you finally talked about Audrey, how are you holding up?” Sam asks him. Nathan glances at Cookie. Sam knows he does that when he cried or had a nightmare. Sam hugs him for support.  
“I know she deserves to know at some point. I just didn’t expect it’d be yet that soon” Nathan replies.  
Julia and Dylan join them. Dylan nods at Nathan. They all snack together, later Julia and Dylan sit beside Nathan.  
“So, did you celebrate closing the case? You all did a magnificent coordinated work. Your friend managed to retrieve all the content.” Julia cheers with her beer. Nathan joins.  
“Mika is great tracking data. I had dinner at the Grey Gull yesterday” Nathan offers smiling.  
“In good company so I heard” Julia adds.  
“She had another flash and researched on Audrey. I don’t understand well what is happening. Is she back? Or as she said is a doppelganger? She is not an orphan. Her mom, Charlotte lives somewhere” Nathan replies. At that Dwight who was playing fetch near them with Cookie and Lizzie, freezes then approach Nathan.  
“She not told me more about that.” Nathan replies to Dwight before he asks. Suddenly overwhelmed. “And enough. You are all around as it was gossip to talk around and is not. I am just trying to make sense of what is happening. I still don’t get why she’s been distant since last saturday. What did I do wrong?” Nathan replies rubbing the beer’s print.  
“Some people take time to process some things. Maybe she is processing something about you as you are processing about her flash” Dylan offers. Nathan nods and goes to play fetch with Cookie and Lizzie. After a while he ask Dylan for a walk.  
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you much more” Dylan tells Nathan before he speaks.  
“I don’t intend you to. Julia told you about what happened. Now she is having flashes. Seems she is quite calmed about it, still, how could I help her?” Nathan asks him.  
“Just as you helped Audrey and she helped you. Give her time and space, follow her pace when she invites you to. Eventually you’ll find a comfortable pace for both.” Dylan replies.  
“I know still. If she is struggling I’d like to help” Nathan replies.  
“She knows well to take care of herself. If she needs something, she’ll tell you one way or other” Dylan replies. After a while of silence.  
“What about you? Are you struggling with something? You know whatever you tell me would be confidential too” Dylan offers.  
“Conflict of interests, you can’t be the shrink for both, right?” Nathan replies.  
“We are not in a formal consult. I am just a friend talking to a friend” Dylan offers. Nathan gives an unconvinced smile. “What really worries you about the flash?”   
“That it’d be too much. She was not suppoused to return” Nathan replies.  
“That opens recent wounds. Take your time. Tell her clear.” Dylan offers.  
“Flash is confusing her. She’s been distant out of the blue. What when she remembers about Sarah and James?” Nathan replies confused.  
“Then you’ll talk about them, no problem. They are part of your story, she’ll understand.” Nathan gives him a quizzical look, as if it’ll be that easy “You two have to talk about boundaries. Is all I will say about the being distant part” Dylan replies. Nathan looks yet puzzled. “What is the last thing you talked last saturday? Now think, did you understood and embraced it yourself right away? She is processing the information, what it implies. Had she overstepped or made you uncomfortable that time this or that happened?. You understand?” Dylan replies. Nathan nods.

At sunset back at home Nathan sends her pictures of the fishing pier and the sunset from his backyard. He not expects any particular reply just felt like sharing the view of nature.  
“Nice colours. Which ship is that?” She asks about the first picture.  
“Cape Rouge, it was Duke’s” Nathan replies deciding to be clear, she deserves to know.  
“Having a good day?” Paige asks him.  
“Fished, fetched, snacked. It was fun. You?” Nathan asks. She reads his short answer as he might be offended.  
“If I was poking too much at the bar, I’m sorry.” Paige apologises, again Nathan is confused, he evetually got it was poking for fun and played along.  
“5/100. No park?” Nathan asks her. She smiles amused. So he keeps that counting yet?  
“I’ve been reading the diaries. Thank you for sharing them with me” she replies.  
“If it helps understand” Nathan offers.  
“Are you ok with sharing them with me?” Paige asks him.  
“I wouldn’t had given to you to read if I weren’t ok about that. I know last week confused you, I understand the processing, but skipping talking about thus assuming it is like this or that by default won’t solve the confusion” Nathan replies.  
“How long did it took your own process yourself?” After a while she writes back.  
“I get your point. Just, if talking or asking would help you, don’t hesitate, know that I am here.” Nathan finally offers.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback.   
> Cape Rouge.   
> Aromanticism plans for upcoming St Val, asexual character: Jessica Rabbit.  
> Case oriented part: a burglar.  
> Other appearances: Rebecca, Gloria, Beattie, Benny.  
> Mentioned: Jean, Duke, Mara.
> 
> Warning: ableism
> 
> New characters: Lily Owens (OBPI student) and Ethan Brown (deaf student). Logan (ableist teacher), Paul (flirty teacher).
> 
> Apologies if some technical vocabulary is not correct. Let me know, and I’ll correct it.

Sunday, 5 february 2012

Nathan spends a quiet morning playing videogames. Considering an upcoming tournament with Sandra, out of curiosity he gives a try to use the controller one handed. And is quite complicated to coordinate the commands, the combos order. As he is losing time and time again, Cookie looks disappointed. Laid on the floor, their paws over their forhead. As he is enthrilled playing, more about the technique than the game per se, it takes him a while to notice he is indeed hungry. Cookie was getting nervous for the skip in routine. Normally Nathan feeds them first. Nathan barely waits for the meal to cool off, so he almost get his hand burnt. As the many other times back when idiopathic neurapathy meant he had no sense of touch at all. He has read a bit about Paige’s disability, and some experience something similar, so he wonders if it happens to her, more since she needs those gloves. He has noticed she seems to have quite a varied collection to complement with her outfit.  
After a late lunch he goes for a walk with Cookie and end up in front of Cape Rouge. He has a copy of the keys. The other belong to Gloria and Dwight. He plans to stay there for quite a while. Not as good sailor as other locals, he not ventures alone. He knows at times the sea brings dangerous surprises when one is alone.

Paige keeps reading. Each page surprising her more. Although she got curious about the 80s pictures, she finds no further reference of that in the part he gave her. Did he skipped that back then? Not noted that? Or he has just given her strictly the part involving only Audrey?. She stops reading by the part they got together. She not feels allowed to read that, would be too intruding, right? It already felt a bit too much to know how he unawaredly felt about her for that long. That date that didn’t happen, the declined tickets. They’ve been through a lot. But she has yet many questions that she is not sure how to ask in fear it’ll poke his wound. She is impressed he is so brave to share all that just to help her figure out about the flashes. Other than that she keeps her routine with James. One thing she not notices is either because of PT or something else her shoulder is tense. Is not until after lunch that she notices the sudden discomfort. James looks at her worried and gives his dog teddy, they should give the toy a name, as comfort.  
Her phone buzzes. A new message arrived. Is just two pictures. She opens it. Is the ship she asked him about and a view of the sea from its deck.  
“Don’t it was Duke’s?” Paige asks confused.  
“I was his friend.” Nathan replies.  
“Do you have some spare extra spoons?” She asks him.  
“For food?” Nathan asks her. She sends him a low battery icon. Ah, those ones.  
“Need a drive somewhere?” Nathan offers.  
“Either last PT was a bit too much or while I kept reading I was on a bad posture. Is quite tense now. Not funny.” She replies.  
“I was not joking. Want I come over?” Nathan offers.  
“I think I’ll just rest a bit. You staying there? Is near the bar or?” Paige asks him. He texts her the address. Paige thinks to herself, ‘as if I knew all town streets as if I were a local too’. Soon arrives another picture of the view to the town from the ship. Ok, that is helpful. She figures she can locate that then. She hopes some sleep will help with the shoulder.

Nathan fell asleep sat on the wide orange chair on the ship’s deck, Cookie by his side. A couple hours before sunset, Cookie hears some wheels moving outside, then runs happily outside moving around the now stopped stroller. James waves and giggles happily. That wakes Nathan from his slumber. He looks to the side.  
“You came.” Obvious fact Nathan “is your shoulder better? Have you been on a ship before?” Nathan asks approaching them. James gives him the teddy. Nathan happily offers him a high five. James looks at his hand confused and goes to give the other teddy, but Cookie replies to the high five by resting their paw on Nathan’s open hand. Now James does the same giggling. Quick learner.   
“So, how do we get to the deck?” Paige asks. Nathan looks at James, she nods so he picks him up and the three get to the deck, then Cookie joins them. Paige had been holding along the handler, not that she has vertigo, but self balance due to her injury, in movements like those she has a feeling of falling off because her arm not feels nor moves as the other. She looks at the sea side.   
“Do you sail?” Paige asks him.  
“I’m not well skilled. Dwight does.” Nathan replies. She unconsciously rubs her upper arm.  
“Still tensed?” Nathan asks her concerned.  
“A bit better after napping. Is just the breeze” she replies. He passes her his jacket which was resting on the chair. She passes it back. He looks confused.  
“If you could hold it so I can get it on? Right arm first. I do the rest myself.” She explains. He nods and does as requested. They exchange a nod. Soon they sit on the big chair, James again held by Nathan. James likes to be sat on his own lately, trying to grab anything around him.  
“So, how about the pick up list for daycare? Just curious about it or?” Nathan asks her.  
“Well, what I told Sam is right. I’m not sure I’ll can pick him up or drop him by every day, specially during exams, school trips and so on. So I’ll have to consider that at some point. There’s few people I know here yet, much for that.” Paige explains. He nods. “In fact this upcoming week I’ll have to pass them all an initial test. Just for reference, but are 240 tests anyways”  
“Well, you’ll make the right choice” Nathan comments. “Did the reading helped?” He asks.  
She looks at him curiously.   
“Strictly only is about Audrey. No reference to the 80s picture. But is ok.” Paige replies and glances at him a couple times while he plays with James and the teddy. She moves to look at the sea. After a while she feels him on the side.  
“I have the part about Lucy too. When you are ready to read that, let me know. Or if you rather give it a break for a while, let it all settle” he offers her.  
“You two were very close right?” She asks, he nods. “Why didn’t you tell her sooner?” She asks him. Nathan glaces at a sleepy James on the wide orange chair, Cookie surevilling him protectivelly. “I was processing too. The Troubles were back. She was the only person I could feel. She was new in town. We worked together. It was a bit confusing and conflicting for me. And the times I tried to be more clear either she declined, which is ok, she not had to feel the same back, or something happened for quite a while. She dated other people. I saw other people too. We were yet friends. True at some point she kissed me, right when I helped her find Lucy. I was so surprised I didn’t know how to react, she not brought that up either so time went by” Nathan explains looking at the sea.  
“So she did found Lucy? Were they related? Which were the Troubles?” Paige asks him.  
“She was remembering things about Lucy. Like Lucy did knew to play piano, which Audrey did not know, but she did after she remembered, she felt quite in an identity crises for some time. I understand. So if you rather not know more about it all, I’ll understand” Nathan replies glancing at her. She ponders for a bit, glances at James.  
“Knowing all that or not won’t stop the flashes. It’d happened twice already. And I’d rather know, step by step, maybe that’ll make sense. I just don’t get why is happening now. And knowing she had to leave, is not reassuring” she glances at James again. He glances at her concerned.  
“It won’t happen the same again. Many things are different. You are not an orphan, she was. There are no Troubles this time. I guess you are remembering because if you are related at some point you should know. I don’t know for sure” Nathan replies.  
“I hadn’t told my mom yet, about the flashes. And she wants to come over by easter break in a month. I don’t know where that remembering may lead to by then” Paige replies looking at the sea.  
“If you rather not know more, just stop when you consider” Nathan offers.  
“But maybe I am suppoused to know about all that for some reason” Paige resolves.  
“Ok, but know you are not alone” Nathan assures her. She helds his hand and leans on his side, so he embrace her briefly.  
“I know. Thank you” she replies. He nods. After a bit while she looks at James. They look at the sea for a while.  
“What are the Troubles? How did that happen?” Paige asks him.  
“Mara caused the Troubles a long time ago.” Nathan tells her, she glances at him confused.  
“But she had such an odd harmony. How could she be related? Did she Troubled you? How?”   
“She was quite odd. Somehow they were related. Troubles became genetic, my biological father had the same one as me. Troubles activated each 27 years when she returned in a new personality. Sarah, Lucy, Audrey, Lexie. When Mara returned again she inflicted new Troubles on people.” Nathan explains.  
“You are an orphan as she was too? Did you knew all her personalities? Did she inflicted you any new Trouble? How come Troubles could not be stopped?”   
Nathan is surprised she is further curious upon receiving so much information and looks at her quizzical. She seems just curious. But notices his conflicted look.  
“Too much, ok. Thanks for that part” she replies.   
“How do you feel about that new info?” Nathan asks her.  
“If that happened. I am curious to know. I’ll make sense of it when the processing is over. You ok telling?” She asks him. He nods.  
“And about that?” He asks softly rubbing her shoulder.   
“Ok, it was a bit tense, I’ll admit. Warmth helped so, thanks” she softly smiles.  
“So, do I drive you both back to your place?” He offers. She nods. He helps her back to the port and drive them to her place. She invites him in for dinner. She returns his jacket. After dinner, while she reads a tale for James to sleep upstairs and he quickly does the dishes downstairs, Cookie hits a stack of envelopes on the corner of the tv with its tail. Nathan picks them up. One draws his attention. Is about James. Standard information from the hospital he figures. Along the child’s data is the blood type. Another letter has hers. Her group is same as Audrey. James is same as his. Although is really not that big a surprise Nathan is shocked, suspicious is becoming a fact. Cookie gently hits his left hand with the muzzle. That gets Nathan to refocus. He puts the envelopes back where they were and go sit on the couch. Soon she joins in.  
“I had been checking the games for the tournament” Nathan comments.  
“Geek. I am not a gamer. You two have fun” Paige comments. He looks amazed.  
“I will. But the more the merrier. You and Luke can play too. It’ll be fun” Nathan offers.  
“Thanks, but I rather crochet. I was never good at those games anyways” Paige replies.  
“As you prefer. Training is funnier with a friend” Nathan says shruging.  
“What’s the gain of me playing a videogame?” She asks.  
“A fun time? De-stress from correcting the same 30 replies to an exam?” Nathan replies.  
“Or you just want to poke some fun back at me” Paige replies.  
“Me, poking fun? Never” he sarcastically replies.  
“Ok. What’s gotten into you now? Joking and such.” Paige asks curious.  
“I guess the talk helped relax from the recent distance” Nathan replies.  
“Oh that. Boundaries. We had not talked about that yet” Paige realises in surprise.  
“Is fine for me. If it weren’t I would had told you. Hand shake is fine, hug is fine, that closeness or affection is fine by me” he replies.  
“Ok. Sure it was not too much what happened in the hospital?” Paige asks.   
“No. I understand.” Nathan reasons. She ponders then hugs him quickly.  
His phone alarm buzzes.  
“It’s been great, but you know, duty calls. Take care. Good week” Nathan smiles at her and leaves with Cookie in the Bronco. It takes him a bit to fall sleep, he is so happy to know is very likely that James is his James. But now he wonders how to tell Paige? Initially Audrey did not took that well to know that it was Sarah’s. As if they were not related or something. Will he have to tell her about what fatal fate their son had in 1983? Wait a minute, their, his and Paige? Ok, now he gets that Audrey did not took it well. Is not like Paige is not a good mom, but although Audrey asked him to move on. Is he really ready to move on? He remembers that talk he had with Garland shortly after he widowed, when Julia was suspecting of their meetings. “I still love your mother, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone to date someone else”. True Paige is lovely, but would that feel fair if is not Audrey?

Monday, 6 february 2012  
As Paige gets to the school the board was waiting for her. She is intrigued about why.  
“We know you are new but since you seem to be so lively involved in the educative project, we thought to assign you organizing the season festivities this semester too” The what now?  
“What is that?” Paige asks confused.  
“You know the season dance, the special festivities: mother’s day, easter, world book day. All that. Do you agree?” The principal explain expectant.  
“For both levels, me alone?” Paige asks confused.  
“There’s a team. We though you all newer, younger teachers join in to work together, to communicate better with the groups and such” the principal continues. All newer teachers look at each other hesitantly.  
“I’ll think about it and give a final reply soon. I have a bunch of exams today, so if you don’t mind, I should get going, to class, to teach, my job” Paige replies going to 1thA. She had an intuition that will happen. She’ll have to fill in that authorized paper soon. But who could pick him up, stay with him until she is back home?  
During recess, one of the new teachers is quite chatty about if she’ll agree or not.  
“I am new here. Semester substitute too. I want to stay, get a whole year contract. The more one does, the better chances to be renewed. You rather pass on that?” Logan, a physical education teacher tells her.  
“Is not a matter of rather pass on that. Of course I’d like to stay and settle. For the last years I’ve been moving around every semester. But I have other things to consider. I’m not sure all that effort now pays for a year contract later” Paige replies.  
“Is because you have a family. Is what that is going to be about now? New parents against just new teachers. Well don’t complain later when we get the whole year renewed and you bunch get assigned another place, again” Logan replies. How rude.  
Before the schedule ends one of the teachers passed her a note. Seriously? She reads it during the last class. Since the group finishes the exam early, she allow them go play in the front basket court. She looks for the music teacher, he had the hour off. She starts a small talk conversation. He keeps trying to be flirty. A bit later she forwardly asks him.  
“Has the visit been well planned and approved already?” Paige asks him showing the note.  
“I am new. Nobody told me the protocol yet. But I thought I should run it by you first since you are their tutor.” The teacher replies hesitantly.  
“Ok. Consult if the conservatory is indeed available to be visited that day. Then we’ll propose it to the principal.” She replies and gives him a card with her number. “Next time, just text me, ok?” The bell rings and she leaves, bunch of exams in the side seat. Picks up James. Lunch. Now what? Rest or grade? She did the math. If she does correct 35 tests each day she’ll have all them corrected by sunday. Is just for reference but anyways, she sooner she gets a routine the better. Other tests won’t overlap like that. She aims to grade 15 now, the other 20 later. Gets only 10. Well, not bad. James back to daycare. Theatre time. 

There is the flirty music teacher again. They list the kids that joined.   
“What kind of play do you want to do? Comedy? Drama?” Paige asks them. That ends up in the kids shouting about what they prefer.  
“Wait, wait. Those that prefer one or other, group together” Paige offers. The kids do. End up in 6 groups.   
“Are you all in the reading program too?” Half the kids raises their hands.  
“What about if we do a play that has all six elements that you all said?” Paige offers, the kids look confused.  
“Ok. I have a fragment for each. For next week prepare for one type. We’ll choose which play we do and assign the papers. Have fun” Paige passes to Paul, the flirty music teacher, some pages to copy for the students. The kids get a copy in the secretary. The group consider the first class over. She has the other exams for the day in the car, so she could correct them. Where exactly? She should pick up James in half an hour.   
“Graded 35?” Nathan texted her.  
“I wish. Just 10. Finished theatre early. Yet half an hour to pick up James. Your day is better?”   
“Quite busy. There is burglar. You’ll get to the 35. Need extra?” He asks sending an icon of a spoon which makes her smile. Then enters the music teacher.  
“All kids parents picked them up. Advantages of them all having a phone already.” The teacher tells her. She nods, still thinking what to reply. She types.  
“The building is empty. We can leave. If you were busy” the teacher repeats.  
“Ok. On the way” Paige finally puts the phone back on her pocket and goes to pick James. Back at home she focus on finishing the tests for the day, while James babbles at a movie. Around the 30 she checks at the time. 7pm, not bad. She checks her phone. The music teacher has replied, the conservatory approves the visit in two fridays. Her mom also texted her. She sends her some recent pics of James playing and tells her he babbles now.  
“You could videocall, so I can see him. Easter break is yet far away” Charlotte replies.  
“He is asleep now and I am grading exams now mom. Some other day, ok?”   
“Ok, give him a big hug from his nan. I love you both. See you soon” Charlotte replies sending hearteyed kissing icons. So Paige send some back. Hopefully she can have dinner and prepare James for sleep on time today.  
She sees now she had not replied Nathan.   
“Sorry, picking James, grading. I hope your day was better” she goes to add a friendly smile but ends sending two of the last icons she sent to her mom. Oh my. She leaves the phone on the desk. Nathan is typing. On the other side Nathan was a bit confused by the icons but guessed she confused them for some reason.  
“Burglar is still free. Need ice cream?” He offers. Would he really come over with ice cream if she’d say yes? She had not thought yet about the assigned festivities and she needs to give a reply soon, Logan was so rude, and then Paul, the music teacher flirting. Some company might be good.  
“Ok, just the usual, you know. Thanks. You had dinner?” Paige replies.  
“Just finished paperwork. No dinner. I come by later?” He asks.  
“Having a salad here, if you want to join in” Paige replies. He sends a thumbsup.  
She bathes and feeds James, then gets to prepare the salad. Shortly after the table is set there’s a knock on the door. She sees the Bronco is parked by the side. James waves as soon as he heards Nathan. No Cookie this time.   
“Hi, buddy. High five?” Nathan offers him. No hesitancy this time, James places his small hand over Nathan, which gently hand shakes. “Glad to see you James” James nods.  
“Do I prepare it and you finish grading?” Nathan offers, she looks doubtful. He brings a spoon out. “I have another 4 and ice cream for later. I would offer a videogame too to distract from the day, but since you are not a geek gamer” Nathan offers. Is he poking fun?  
“Ok for the cooking. I am just so bad at videogames I don’t even have any so I’ll have to pass for now, but thanks for offering. The standard cutlery is set on the table” she explains, he nods and she goes to her office to finish grading.   
James babbles random syllabes at Nathan while he prepares the salad. Nathan babbles back saying the syllabe twice. Somehow James follows the pattern. Ends up saying something like mama and dada. Last one froze Nathan for a bit. At that moment Paige comes from the office.  
“Has he spoken? He said what I think I heard?” She asks. Nathan hesitantly nods. “That’s great. Nan will be so happy to know.” Paige cheerfully picks her phone ready to film.  
“Say mama” Paige encourages him. Nathan by the lunch table. James babbles any sound but that one. So Nathan repeats the pattern “ma ma ma mama” this time James follows again and repeats. To then conclude with a babble very close to “dada”. Ok that one was not asked James. Yet all the sequence got directly filmed and sent to Charlotte automatically. Charlotte calls her.  
“He’ll be so chatty by next month. Who is he telling dada to?” Charlotte asks her. So she heard the whole video?  
“He is just yet babbling. He not knows the meaning of what he says yet.” Paige replies.  
“I heard a guy there. Is fine, you live on your own, is not like you were yet a teenager sneaking a conquest in” Charlotte teases.  
“Mom! I never. If you are going to come over to tell James such made up stories” Paige replies embarrassed. Even Nathan feels half amused half embarassed by Charlotte’s teasing.  
“We both know, we are kidding. Anyways have fun.” Charlotte concludes. Paige looks apologetically at Nathan.  
“I get it, is fine. So, shall we have dinner?” Nathan offers more to distract than out of hunger. She still looks apologetically. Afterwards they quickly did the dishes together and had ice cream while watching a movie. She told him about Logan and Paul during dinner. James wanted to join movie watching and asked to be sat just in between. After a while he falls asleep over Paige’s side, police teddy hugged. Once the movie is over, she rests James on his crib upstairs.  
“So will you say yes to the season assignment?” Nathan asks her.  
“What if Logan theory is right? Would be nice to settle in a place finally. But I’ll need an authorized person to pick up James when I can’t. I could had missed him talking today. I feel like I am going to miss so much about him.” Paige sadly says. He hugs her for comfort. She rests her head on his shoulder.  
“Advice, do not do something thinking you have to. Milestones, achievements sound good but is ok if it takes longer too, just enjoy the journey. That said you know there are extra spoons available” Nathan says offering a spoon which makes her smile.  
“Logan was so rude about it. Teaming parent teachers against childless teachers. That we’ll lose the job per default by next year if we not agree now. And then is Paul, music teacher. Sent me a note to ask to take Lizzie’s class to visit the conservatory in two week’s friday, he was in the theatre group, so annoyingly flirty. I love my job, I do, but I could do without that. I’m complaining so much, sorry” Paige complains gesturing quite a lot.  
“Is ok, better not to bottle up. Maybe you shouldn’t pressure yourself on a deadline soon. They not asked you when to agree to that offer. And anyways one should be free to decline without a backfire” Nathan reasons.  
“What about the burglar? Celebratory ice cream soon?” She asks waving the spoon which makes him smile.  
“Unfortunatelly we are clueless yet. They’ve been breaking and entering near Dwight. I updated him. He’ll try to collaborate. And I’d rather another celebration” Nathan replies in a way that peaks her curiosity.  
“What it is?” Paige asks curious.  
“If HDP catch him before friday, how does gaming to de-stress sounds?” Nathan asks curious.  
“You enjoy to poke fun at my expense, don’t you? I’ll lose at any game. Plus I can’t be gaming and grading the exams”  
“I’ll help you then” he offers, she looks inquiringly “I’ll get James to and from daycare. Save you an hour to rest, grade, gaming or whatever”   
“Oh, no. I can’t ask you that. You have your job. No, thanks” Paige replies  
“You are not asking, I’m offering.” Nathan replies. She still looks doubtful.  
“It would be asking too much.” Paige replies.  
“So, you’ll need someone to help with that. Maybe Vickie? Or Sam? Dwight could too.” Nathan offers.  
“I barely know them yet.” Paige replies. He looks at her half quizzical half hopeful. “You sure think you could? Would not overlap with work? What will you do that spare hour? Where will you drop him by after daycare?” Paige inquires him.  
“Is not the first baby I had taken care of. Sam were my neigbour.” He tells her.  
“I’ll talk to Sam, we’ll try this week. That is not a definitive yes. We’ll see about the gaming” Paige concedes. She mostly does because she’s seen their connection. For some reason James learns so much around Nathan. Nathan suddenly hugs her happily and kisses her forehead. Ok, that’s new and quite close now. Given his suddenly hesitant and apologetical look in case his sudden showing of happiness was overstepping. She gently pat his hand, as saying it was ok. Just a sponteneous surprise for both.  
“Does that mean you will accept the season offer?” Nathan asks quite less cheerful.  
“I’ll reply to them later this week” she explains.  
“So, with all that’s going on, is your shoulder fine?” Nathan asks concerned. She looks confused. “You told me it was tense yesterday. Bad posture reading” Nathan explains.  
“Is better. Thanks. By the way, I don’t think I’ll read what continues of that part. I feel intrusive if I do. And you could tell me why she had to go yourself, some day, right?” Paige offers.  
“Ok, as you prefer” Nathan concedes.  
“Don’t Buttercup me, Wesley” Paige jokes eyerolling. He goes to give some reply, then she smiles. And his alarm phone buzzes. Both get startled.  
“I should get going. Glad that you relaxed a bit. Try not to overload. I’ll pick him up by 5:30pm, will drive him back where you tell me: your home, school or?” Nathan offers.  
“Ok, thanks a lot. Preferably home. Have a good rest, catch that burglar” Paige gestures with her hands.  
Nathan goes back home. He still can’t believe yesterday’s medical letter revelation: James is his, right?. Today James said dada twice. He thought he’d never hear that. He’d never see him grow up. Paige choosing to preserve their privacy about the diaries, is very respectful but also makes him think she will not like the news. He understand, it’s been hard for him to understand and mourn what happened with James. He wonders if once the flashing memories process is over, will Audrey return? Will Paige stay? 

Tuesday, 7 february 2012  
What Nathan said about the burglar is true. Has been breaking and entering near where Dwight lives, but not only. He can’t have an stakeout patrol in every corner of Haven. There is not an sketch nor any camera recording of the burglar that could help find them. But the burglar has been quite active the past weekend, breaking and entering at Magnus O’Brien, among others.  
Meanwhile in every class some student ask about the exam results already. They begin the first unit. During recess she grades some exams in the department. Got to 60 by the time school schedule is over. Back home. James is moody with the puree. Another teeth that soon? Should she upgrade the recipe? James is more interested in her lunch, so she gives him some boiled rice for the first time. He seems to enjoy chewing it. Ok, now he likes that. While he naps she grades some more exams. 

Dwight saw something suspicious, two homesteads away from his, so he texted Nathan. Althought Nathan told him to wait until he arrives, Dwight puts his old kevlar on and goes after the suspect. As he approaches the home he sees the living room window is broken. As quietly as he can Dwight gets in the home, weapon in hand. When he is getting upstairs he hears something outside, he glances to the window to find Nathan. Dwight gestures him, Nathan gestures back. Before Dwight looks to the stairs the burglar is punching him. Dwight push him to the floor but the burglar keeps kicking with their foot. Nathan got to them, while they manouver to reduce the burglar and cuff him, Nathan gets kicked in the jaw. That hurts. They take the burglar to the station while a patrol inspects the home. Both Dwight and Nathan get quickly checked by Gloria to asses their injuries. Dwight feels a bit embarrassed to be shirtless in front of Gloria.  
“Oh please, body swap, remember?” Gloria comments which just gets Dwight to feel more awkward, even Nathan gets embarrassed. Going to smile his jaw hurts.   
“Are you sure there’s nothing broken? It still hurts. Hurts to smile” Both Dwight and Gloria stare at a normally stoic Nathan.  
“Welcome to Troubledless Haven, now you have the sense of touch, which includes pain. I’m sorry about that. Painkillers I have are too strong to let you drive on such medication. Ice packs are on the fridge.” Gloria adds. Nathan sighs. He’ll have to get used to that.  
“Not to win the bet or anything, but we got the burglar. Well Dwight did, I just got a bit punched. Many exams today? 5:30pm is still fine?” Nathan texts Paige. Message was sent while she was driving for a quick check up on James with Sharon, then she was feeding an unusually moody James. Finally she checks on her phone.   
She replies with a picture. Quite unusual, Nathan notices. A smiley James chewing rice greets the screen. It makes Nathan smile, jaw pain be ignored. He not notice that Dwight hasn’t left and that even Rebecca and Laverne have gathered around. A small crowd of “aww” follows. Nathan is startled and blushing. Followed by the single parents commenting on at what age did their child started eating rice. Nathan excuses himself and goes to the car. He had not replied yet nor read any message after that. Finally he reads.  
“He’s trying rice. Hopefully that’ll settle well. Not wanted puree. 5:30pm is fine” which reminds him is 4:30pm. Just an hour. He goes back to the station. Fills in the paperwork. Althought he has set a phone alarm he glances at the watch after a paper is done. Rebecca notices.  
“An appointment somewhere? I can cover” Rebecca offers.  
“Thanks but I’ll do on time.” Nathan replies.   
“By the way, Dylan talks a lot about, Paige, the new teacher. He joined all her groups. He is looking forward to some group visit or trip. Any clue on that?” Rebecca asks.  
“She has many groups, tutors for two of them. All I heard is of a music visit to the conservatory by Lizzie’s group. That’s all. Semester just begun, so who knows.” Nathan offers.  
“So you talk often. Work and such?” Rebecca wonders. Nathan looks up confused.  
“Confidential is confidental. I not talk confidential.” Nathan replies thinking she refers to that.  
“Well, you two seem quite close. Kid picture and so on” Rebecca comments.  
“I’m just as close to her as to any other friends”. Nathan replies politely.  
“No single parent shares that with just anyone” Rebecca reasons. That puzzles Nathan. Why that comment?

5pm phone alarm buzzes.   
“If the cover offer still stand, can you finish the paperwork? I’ll be back shortly” Nathan replies passing her the folder. She nods and he leaves. Soon feeds Cookie and has some snack. Plays fetch with Cookie in the backyard until is the time to get back moving. 

5:30pm he knocks at Paige’s door. She look startled to see him.  
“Dropping James off on daycare, remember?” Nathan reminds her. She nods.  
“Yes, he is ready, yet napping upstairs But your jaw. Was the burglar?” She asks concerned.  
“He was kicking on Dwight while we were arresting him” Nathan explain.  
“He is also in the HPD? Had you put some ice on it or took any painkiller?” Paige asks.   
“He was. No ice. And if I take any painkiller technically I am not allowed to drive so” Nathan replies. She gets an ice pack and passes to him.  
“At least prevent some swelling” Paige says. He looks surprised that she had one ready.   
“Are you sure, your shoulder has not been hurting either?” Nathan asks her.  
“Not this year. I always have one ice pack or heat pad ready for if I need to help with some micro-injury. I can’t always prevent those happen so at least I am ready.” She explains, he nods.  
“So, graded many exams today?” He asks.  
“75 so far. Today is tuition, so I may grade some more” Paige replies happily. They share a smile. “I’ll wake him. You can drive him back here afterwards?” She asks. He nods.  
Shortly after she comes downstairs with a yet sleepy James rubbing his eyes. He glees as soon as he sees Nathan although then frowns seeing the ice bag.   
“Is fine James. Is fine” Nathan tells him. James gestures to be hugged, so Nathan follows. Gently James pats his jaw, as few days ago did with Cookie. “I am not Cookie, James” Nathan tells him, which makes her smile and James look worried looking for Cookie. “Ready for class, buddy?” Nathan playfully asks him. He giggles. Carrier at the backseat, Nathan and James on the way. He leaves James by daycare, then he returns to the station. He checks his phone. No new messages, yet he checks the smiley James picture again. The many times he thought, assumed he’d never see that. That he had to mourn the loss of a son he never had the chance to see grow, and now he’ll get to see him daily, just like that.  
“Are you ok?” Suddenly a voice startles him. The phone drops to the desk.  
“Fine. Is just ...” he is lost for words.   
“Do the jaw hurts that much? You are crying” Gloria tells him. He wipes his cheeks as she approaches to his desk and sees the phone screen.   
“Oh, she sent you a picture? He is very cute.” Gloria comments then it hits her. She hugs him for support.  
“I thought I’d never” he says.   
“I know. So, are they back back then?” Gloria asks him.  
“She has some flashbacks at random. I am explaining her in fragments” Nathan replies.  
“Do you think she’ll be back at the end? Considered what if she does not, what would you do?” Gloria asks him. He shrugs and looks confused “If she remembers all but is still Paige?. She has grown to be quite fond of you already. A single parent not shares those moments with just anyone. What would you do then?” Gloria asks him.  
“Nobody knows what would happen” Nathan replies.  
“True, but what would you like to happen?” Gloria asks him. He looks confused. “Take it as something rhetorical, do not overthink it. But you know that’s something that could happen too” Gloria concludes leaving. Time to pick up James. James is getting fuzzy in the car. 

“We are going to your mom. Just a few minutes” at a traffic stop Nathan glances at James which gestures to be picked up. Next time Nathan looks at him parking at Paige’s home, James offers him the teddy. Nathan picks him. Paige’s car is not there yet. He not has the keys to the front door. So Nathan decides to talk to him, maybe that helps him be less distressed. He tells him about animals, the trees. That seems to enterntain James. Soon arrives Paige.  
“Been waiting long?” Paige asks them.  
“A few minutes. He was fuzzy in the car” Nathan comments her while she opens the door.  
“He likes some snacking at that time” Paige explains. Nathan sits on the lunch table chair with James gently held. Paige looks at him quizzically.  
“His snacking time. He not seem to want to be unheld” Nathan reasons. Paige briefly frowns.  
“He’ll want to share. He does that now” Paige warns him. Nathan nods. “His snacking right now is finger food: banana, avocado, fromage frais, sweet potato, cornflakes” Paige explains.  
“All at once?” Nathan asks confused.   
“No. But faster to prepare would be banana or sugar free cornflakes. And he should be eatimg surveilled but alone, on his own, on his chair, to help independent movement to feed himself later, coordinate before crawling and walking later.” Paige points out, so Nathan sits James on the baby chair. And accompanies her to the kitchen because she seems to want to explain him for some reason. Indeed she explains about all the 5 foods.   
“Is all that clear?” Paige asks, he nods. Wondering why she explained.  
“Since you’ll pick him up and he might get fuzzy for snacks, now you know how it goes. So, you want to try?” Paige offers passing him a knife to prepare the banana. “Not too small, nor too big” Paige reminds him. Once all the piece is sliced and on a cup, Nathan happily brings it to James.  
“Are you sure? You not have to, you know. If you have to go back to the station or something” Paige asks him.  
“Is fine. You can grade or get some rest. Shift is over” Nathan tells her waving an icecream spoon. Paige briefly smiles, yet a bit hesitant but goes to her office to grade more exams. As she told him, James likes to share. For each couple pieces he gets he gives one to Nathan. Once is finished Nathan gets him to play with the blocks and other games. Nathan tells him colours. James tries to repeat his own way, ba for blue, ga for green. There are other consonants he can’t make yet and makes him look confused at Nathan. How does yellow and red go? Nathan gently caress his hair. “Is ok buddy, you’ll get there”. Towards sunset Paige goes to check on them. Nathan glances and smiles, she smiles back. James claps. Nathan approaches her at the treshold.  
“So grading going well? They have good level? Have you decided on the season thing?” Nathan asks her.  
“100 graded. Thank you. I’ll give the season thing a try, which means I may need an extra help from you. I don’t want to ever imposse, so feel free to decline.” Paige offers. He nods.  
“Extra help on what?” Nathan asks curious as they sit on the couch.  
“Big upcoming event, obviously is Valentine” Paige hesitantly tells him. “I thought maybe some kid is aromantic too, who knows? You were and didn’t knew. So I thought to prepare some activity for them too. Big event is a dance the friday for the middle schoolers. The usual of note exchange along the week for both levels. So can you help me to think some activity? Like what did you like to do at that age?” Paige asks him. Nathan takes a bit to process which she briefly misread as he might had disliked the idea.  
“I liked photography, repairing devices, comics, movies, music, videogames, hiking, swimming” Nathan enumerates.   
“Ok, so a landscape and nature photography contest and comic exchange along the week, videogame tournament and romanticless movie session that day. Thanks a lot” Paige briefly squeezes his hand.   
“Thanks for considering that. Maybe if we had that I’d been more interested in taking part. As AV club member, I helped set the music but I not attended the dance.” Nathan pats her hand back. “How is your shoulder?”  
“Is fine. Correcting exams is not as writing them. Really thanks a lot for being that helpful with everything, I really mean it” Paige smiles at him.  
“No need to, is ok” Nathan nervously looks down to find they were unawaredly almost hand holding. He blushes. And both glance at James which is rubbing his eyes.   
“I should get going. It’s been a pleasure. Take care you both” Nathan stands up, hugs her and goes to leave but James gestures for him to approach, so Nathan picks him up. James pats his pained jaw.  
“It’ll get better, is ok James. Good night” Nathan kisses his forehead and pass him to Paige. Nathan still not understand well why she explained the snacking. For if he stays at her place? For next time they are at his? Right now, confused and pieces of the puzzle yet missing he couldn’t be happier. Well, he could if she were yet there. Because although he has to admit fondness to Paige, is not Audrey. True is not like Mara who caused the Troubles or Lexie who even didn’t like pancakes. But what Gloria told him, got him thinking. What if after all the flash process, Audrey is not back? Could he move on as she asked him to with Paige? Would she want to? Does she like him like that? 

Tuesday, 7 february 2012  
Paige informs the principal that she will accept the assignment and obviously the first big event is St Valentine. She tells them about the other activities.   
“Who will check those activities?” Logan questions.  
“We are a team. You’ll check the notes and dance, I’ll prepare those other ones.” Paige replies.  
“Then no problem. Upcoming visits or trips?” The principal asks. Paige glances at Paul. He not says a word, Paige eyerolls and replies.  
“Paul, 4thD music teacher, commented me about a visit to the conservatory in two weeks, friday. He told me he checked the conservatory and they are ok that day” Paige tells the principal.  
“Paul should accompany them. Offer the parents to join in the activity permission. So they can help with the students. You can go too” the principal explains, offering at Paige.  
“I’ll check how many parents will go. I’ll deliver the permissions to the children today.” Paige replies.  
Paige manages to grade another 10 exams that morning even with more odd glances from Logan.  
As the new routine Nathan picks up James at 5:30pm. This time he went with Cookie. They briefly comment about the day. Nathan not seems as talkative. 

Tuition for Elementary. A mother arrives concerned. Paige greets her politely.  
“I’m Amanda, Ethan Brown’s mom. He brought the permission for the conservatory visit. Is ok, I’ll go with him. My child is deaf. He got his hearing aids recently. He is yet adapting to speak. He could not hear at all before, it was difficult for him to speak, so he is more fluent in ASL than speaking. He had been slower learning than his class because of that technical gap, other than the support teacher a few hours a week, he had not much support in that process. I don’t want to imposse but I don’t want my child to have yet that gap. So how can we fix that?” Amanda tells her.  
“Um, I’ll tell his teachers to coordinate better”. Paige offers.  
“Do they know ASL? Do you know ASL? I know comparing is awful, but I bet many use glasses, right? We all are ok with that, yet ASL, a language is ignored every time. Imagine what would be like if using glasses or contact lenses would not be allowed or known enough to be used. Can you imagine the learning development gap that would cause on many students, more at that early age? Born deafness happen 2 per 1000 newborn, do you know how many are in that school? 45. Yet half the teachers not coordinate well. We have less support teachers than we need, not just for deaf students. My son is yet learning to speak, but no teacher ever ask us how to help in that process.” Amanda tells her. Paige understand her concern.  
“I’ll check on that. I’ll check on a course on ASL.” Paige resolves.  
“I hope things will change. Is not fair my son does all the effort he does yet is considered a slower student.” Amanda explains and leaves.  
Why nobody told her about that before? How can she improve that situation?  
“You told me you knew ASL?” Paige text Nathan.  
“Yes, why?” Nathan replies.  
“I’ll tell you later. Good day?” Paige replies.  
“Ok. Unusually quiet. Grading going well?” Nathan asks. She replies with a thumbsup.  
Back at her place, while James snacks on his own. Cookie resting beside James on the floor.  
“So what about ASL?” Nathan signs at her.  
“I did a course long long ago but I don’t remember. In my tuition class there’s a student. He is learning to speak now. His mom told me the school is not helping well, which causes a learning gap. I’ll talk about that to the school board, find a course for the teachers, organize some activity for the students this semester but that will take some time, meanwhile can you help me practice?” Paige tells him.  
“Ok. On one condition.” Nathan offers. “Videogame tournament. Is fun. It’d help you de-stress.” Nathan offers. Paige eyerolls.  
“Seriously why would I play videogames? I do not have any.” Paige replies.  
“To de-stress” Nathan explains.  
“I don’t de-stress that way. I rather hiking or whatever. But ok, I’ll give it a try. I’ll laugh when Sandra beats you, because she will” Paige replies.  
“Me poking fun? Not ever. I am a stoic that never smiles.” Nathan jokes smiling. Paige smiles to herself.  
“About the movies for the event, any recommendation?” Paige asks him.  
“I am glad you asked” Nathan replies opening a backpack he had brought. He passes her an old notebook. “I listed romanceless or quite lowkey time ago. Goes on by genre and year” Nathan replies.  
“You really like cinema” Paige comments surprised while she looks at the list.  
“Who framed Roger Rabbit? But Jessica” Paige comments.  
“She is asexual. True she gets lots of unwanted attention, objectification just for her looks. But all through the movie she is not sex interested at all, just loyal to Roger. He was willing to let her go if she’d be happier with her affaire.” Nathan explains. Paige nods.  
“Do you relate to her?” Paige asks him curious. Nathan nods but looks a bit confused. Why interested on who he relates to? “Lots of unwanted attention too?” Paige asks him. Nathan considers why is she asking him that.  
“Lots of unwanted jealousy and disappointment. Guys wanted the girls attention that I got, and well some of the girls expected I’d reciprocate their interest, while I was just friendly talking, getting to know them as a person, no other intention. Apparently at some point kindness or friendly reads as romantic for some people.” Nathan explains.  
“And that makes you feel uncomfortable” she concludes. He looks at her curious. “But you dated, right?” Paige asks him.  
“Well, I had partners, saw people.” Nathan vaguely explains.  
“Because you wanted or you felt you had to?” Paige asks him.  
“Because I wanted to.” Nathan replies, she nods. James shouts and waves. He wants to play with the blocks. Nathan picks him up. He notices that Paige lets him even encourage him to hold James more as of late.  
“I’ll go grade a bit. If you have to go, just tell me. Thanks a lot” Paige tells him and gently pats his hand.  
“6/100. 6 rounds on videogames by the weekend sounds good?” Nathan playfully jokes.  
“Very funny. Nice try” Paige sarcastically replies.  
“If I can’t train, Sandra will beat me. You just want to grant your laughter” Nathan teases.  
“Maybe. I heard stoics never smile nor joke” Paige comments leaving to her office. Is getting cold so Nathan did set a fire. He explained her how that goes but she prefers he sets it when he comes over.  
James points to the radio for music, so Nathan plays the list. First track to sound is the lullaby, James claps happily. So she liked it? A few tracks later James asked to be read and sat next to Nathan, seeing the drawings while Nathan read at him. Cookie on the other side. A few tracks later is only music what is heard. So Paige goes to check on them to find them all asleep, James curled on Nathan’s side. He has been helping her more recently. She picks up James and get him to his crib upstairs. With the loss of the pressure and warmth by his side Nathan wakes up shortly after, is not that he feels tired.   
“I should get going. Sorry that I fell asleep.” Nathan tells her as soon as she is downstairs. She nods, they briefly hug and he leaves with Cookie.

Wednesday, 8 february 2012  
Nathan texts her ASL signs panels along the day. Nathan also text her about Deaf youtubers that teach ASL early that morning. So she decides to practice greeting and saying bye to Ethan that day. He glees and smiles at the kind surprise. He seems a lot more interested in class that day. She checks on him briefly after class, in recess. But for a classmate he seems to gather with the other deaf students in Elementary. Their ASL obviously is very fluent, and she is just a beginner that can barely catch up, other than know they are signing but she is clueless about what. Surely Ethan feels like that with speaking yet he not complains. Logan sees her and makes some ableist comment that got Paige quite angry but left to not argue. She talks with the support teachers. There are 1500 students on both levels, which means 45 deaf students. She pays attention and no teacher but support ones greet them in ASL, how rude.

Later during Middle Theatre, as she passes them the casting text for next week, Dylan and Bobby want to cast for a same role and get two copies, one for a friend that could not go to that first class. She asks who is that for, both repliy is for their friend Lily, so she gives a copy for Bobby who is in her group. Paul keeps being annoyingly flirty with her. Can’t he see she is not interested? For a moment she considers to ask Nathan to pick her up. Maybe if Paul sees she prefer other companies he’ll stop being flirty. But that may not solve Paul’s problem and could understandbly make Nathan feel uncomfortable. Arriving at her place, Nathan excuses himself to leave quite early, so they barely speak about their day, yet they practice ASL for next day. “Do you understand? You noted that? Well done” class relared sentences.

Nathan did got a text from Beattie about Jean, so he had to leave. He is thankful that she shares about Duke’s daugther, the child is adopted in Nebraska, but her new parents are friendly to update about her monthly. Nathan wonders at times what would Duke had done about Jean once the Troubles would end? Would he’d been a distant father? Would he try to contact or know about her? Would he even stay in contact with Beattie? She not talks about Duke much, other than he is the biological father of her daugther. She is already busy enough caring and providing for her two same age children. 

Thursday, 9 february 2012  
Paige is determined to make things better for the students so when she enters the school board that morning she greets in ASL. They look at her quizzical.  
“Yes, we know Ethan is in your class” Logan comments.  
“Yet, none of you greet him in ASL. How unkind” Paige replies.  
“We are paid to teach. He is here to learn. They already have support teachers” Logan replies.  
“Yes, the support teacher works for all levels and subjects. Can you teach art to an 8th grader and maths to a 1st grader? Because that is his work daily. None of you collaborate with those teachers or the students” Paige replies annoyed.  
“What involves you in all that?” Logan asks arrogantly.  
“We are here to teach to all the students. Are we teaching them how they need? How do you make sure they follow your lesson?” Paige asks Logan.  
“Is their task to follow the lesson. I not have to focus only on an student. If they have a learning gap is not my fault they are slow to catch up” Logan replies arrogantly.  
“Ok, teach today without your glasses. Proof me that you can do your work as efficently without that aid. Then I won’t ask you to just be more polite to 45 of the students” Paige confronts him.  
“What’s gotten into you today?. Such an untamed tiger. I think you may need some ...” Logan replies.  
“Dare to continue that sentence and I’ll report your harassment.” Paige glares at him.  
“Ok. I’ll try to be more polite to those kids” Logan concedes sounding annoyed.  
“If you think that gets you off the hook you are very wrong. So you are not brave to prove me wrong?” Paige dares him.  
“I said, I’ll be more polite to them. I can’t teach without my glasses” Logan repeats.  
“What a magic surprise” Paige comments going to class. She keeps greeting the deaf students in ASL, earning more smiles along the day. Still many of the students are not in her classes. During the class with Ethan she practices the new sentences. And for once he asks for an exercise to be explained again.

After school she goes to the post office to pick a package from Charlotte with James. There she stumbles with a woman, she excuses herself and helps her. To her surprise next to her is Nathan holding another kid. The three look at each other. James looks at the kid, confusion on his face.  
“Um, she is Beattie. He is Benny, her oldest. He is Cam” Nathan explains. Beattie greets her.  
“Are they twins?” Paige asks curious. The kids look the same age.  
“Um, not really. Is complicated to explain” Beattie tries to reply. “I got approved and adoption process when I got pregnant, so both kids turn out to have the same age” Beattie comes up with. “I’m about to pick a package from my niece, which is around the same age, she lives in Nebraska” Is the closest to the truth that Beattie tells new people. How else can you explain you had 3 children, not from a same pregancy in a year? Paige nods.  
Turns out Paige’s package from Charlotte is quite big, not heavy but the volume is complicated for Paige to hold. She not brought the carrier to the post office, she can’t rest James there. Nathan quickly offers to hold James with his left arm. James greets Benny, both giggle and look at each other curious. Paige holds the package as best she can and goes to place it on her car. Thankfully she went there driving. One of the parking guards is waiting her. Fine in hand.   
“Are you the owner? You parked on the disabled space. Your car not has the card” the guard tells her. Nathan and Beattie went after her, Jean’s package carried by Beattie.  
“I have the card on my bag. Let me show you” Paige replies.  
“The card should be visible. Is not.” The guard repeats. Paige looks for the card on her bag. She shows it, but the guard keeps being unreasonable, despite her card says she is mobility disabled. The guard glances inside the car.  
“If you are really disabled. Why is your car not adapted? You car is not even automatic” the guard looks at her suspicious.  
“Not every disabled need an adapted car to drive, that not means we are less disabled” Paige replies.  
“Are you aware I am an authority here? Do I have to call the police?” The guard confronts her.  
“You are in your lucky day. Officer Wournos. She is disabled. She showed you. Would you be reasonable about the fine, or do I have to report your ableism to your superior, have an external audition check on the efficency on the department’s fining the disability parking. Maybe turns out you made such rude mistakes before with the 10% of Havenites?.” Nathan replies the guard, which finally destroys the fine.   
“Put the card visible on your car next time” the guard concedes.  
“Thank you. Is my fault, I should had the card visible” Paige thanks Nathan but self blames.  
“You did nothing wrong. You showed him. That not excuses him being rude” Nathan replies. “Are you ok to drive? You seem yet distressed. Icecream?” Nathan offers.  
“No thanks. Is lunch time. Thanks a lot. I should get going. Talk later” Paige replies, closing the trunk and opening the back door to James carrier. She quickly handshakes Nathan and drives home.

Later during tuition for Middle school, another mom comes over. Her daugther, Lily Owens complains about the physical education teacher. Not much guessing, is Logan. Although the student applied for an adaptation given her physical mobility disability the teacher expects she does the same exercises as her class. Today one of her classmates pushed her during class, which made she hit her shoulder with the wall. She needed medical attention upon arriving home. So the mother asks the teachers to be reasonable while she is recovering and not make writen exercises compulsory and let her do the exercises on her computer or tablet during that period. Upon hearing the injury, Paige flinches painfully. That hurts a lot, she knows, long time to recover.  
“Sure no problem. She can do her works on tablet or computer all along the semester. I’ll talk to her teachers. I am very sorry that has happened. Would you like to report that so we make sure that not happens again? She needed medical attention” Paige offers.  
“She’ll be ok with just the tablet” the mother replies and leaves.  
Paige checks on Lily’s file and to her surprise she has her same injury. She is in Bobby’s group.

Nathan notices her a lot more distressed. In fact she not goes to grade more exams while he is at her place.  
“Something stressing you today? I know the guard was so ableist but you got good news from your mom, right?” Nathan tries to cheer her up.  
“Is Logan. Another ableist. Lily, has my injury. During his class another kid pushed her, she hitted the wall. He saw. She told him. He ignored that. She needed to see Julia later. The mom just asked me to let her use her tablet instead of writing while she recovers. Such injury takes us longer to recover from, it can get painful to eat, or breathe either sat or laying down. I offered her to report, she declined. Logan was so rude early on today about Ethan too. We had a big confrontration when he tried to harass me. ‘Tiger needs taming’. How can he be that annoying?” Paige complains.  
“Some people are like that. Try he not affects you too much. For your health. Is ok you confront him, but be safe too. Any way I can help? Get your mind off it for a bit?” Nathan asks brining one of the spoons. She smiles and picks it.  
“I can’t have that many icecreams in a row, but thanks, for, well, you know” she replies.  
“That is 4 more today. 10/100. Ten tournament rounds.” Nathan jokes.  
“Keep trying. I am not a gamer Nathan” Paige pats his shoulder.  
“I am not trying to bring you to the geek side.” Nathan dramatically says, which makes her smile. “But would get your mind off Logan for a bit, not stress further.”   
“I told you, I don’t have any of those devices. Movie?” Paige says holding The Princes Bride DVD.  
“Ok, Buttercup” Nathan jokes. She looks at him quizzically while he goes pick two beers. “I figure you need them today” he replies to her questioning look. “Just being observant, at times you have one when frustrated. Logan is frustrating” Nathan explains further. She looks a bit embarassed but nods. They sit on the couch as usual. James in the middle.  
“So, how about your job? I know has lots of confidential. But seems all I do is complain about mine. You can rant about yours too, you know . Not bottle up.” Paige comments after a while.  
“You not rant. Is ok. Mine was uneventful today. Paperwork. Court. The most eventful part was the post office after the court. No need to thank me about that again” he replies as she nods.  
“Ok, I’ll give gaming a try tomorrow. If that’ll help de-stress. Your place?” Paige offers. He nods surprised. Not much later her goes back home. He wonders, is he really that quiet about his job? He had the opposite impression. Hadn’t he said too much during the phone case?

Friday, 10 february 2012  
Ethan and his friends had talked about Paige, so now they cheerfully greet her when they see her passing by. Around 30 students have joined the aromantic activities: photography, cinema, comic exchange, videogame tournament. 15 students did submit landscape pictures for the photography contest already, another 10 left their comics to exchange already.  
Paige happily updates Nathan about it. He is very happy they get to have some space and befriend each other better. Paige informs Lily’s teachers that she is allowed to do her exercises only on her tablet now.  
“You can’t imposse that Paige. Every teacher has a right to evaluate and ask for the format of the exercises as they consider” one of the teachers reasons. Upon Logan arriving.  
“True. You know what else is true? We are their guards while they are in class, their safety is our responsability. Yet some teachers here allow violence in class which result in injuries and need of medical attendance, you are lucky they not want to report the teacher in question. So, the student is allowed to do their works on tablet now” Paige explains glancing at Logan.  
“Is every day going to be like that now? When I adviced you to involve more I didn’t meant it like that” Logan replies eyerolling.  
“Wait a moment, what violence?” The principal ask concerned.  
“During Logan class one of the students pushed another against the wall. That student needed medical assistance when they got home” Paige explains. Principal looks at Logan.  
“She could had injured on the way home and blame the school now” Logan excuses.  
“How do you know their gender? I never told you who they are. You fell on your own trap” Paige tells him.  
“So, it was in your class. You knew and did nothing?” The principal confronts him.  
“Kids push each other. You can’t stop that. Is not my fault one of them is clumsy like that” Logan arrogantly replies.  
“That is very irresponsible of you. You knew she got injured and did nothing. I’ll talk to their parents” The principal concludes going to talk with Paige.  
In between all that she gets to grade another 25 tests in the morning.   
Nathan texts her more ASL panels along the day. She asked him about compliments and encouragements. Other than that the day is quite uneventful again.

As he arrives at her place to drive James to daycare, she greets him in ASL “good afternoon. Good day?” Nathan is surprised and replies back “it was uneventful again”. James looks at them intrigued.   
“Can you repeat that slower please?” She signs back, so Nathan replies.  
“Today has been quiet” he signs.  
“Hey that is different. What did you say before?” Paige complains verbally.  
“I said, it was uneventful again” Nathan both speaks and signs. James looks curious. “Is ok, you are learning fast too. So, how was your day?” Nathan asks her.  
“Principal wants to talk to Lily’s parents about Logan. There are 30 students among the 4 aromantic activities. I may need another teacher to help me that day, is almost a whole class. I don’t think I can bring James over that friday. I’ll have to skip PT that day” Paige reasons.  
“I hope he encourage them to formally report the incident. Is not the kid’s fault, but is the teacher’s responsability. Any idea which teacher can help? If you need to I can babysit James again” Nathan offers. For a moment she considers.  
“Would be more than snack and daycare” Paige tells him.  
“I know. I’m ok with that. I read him a tale the other time” Nathan replies.  
“I’ll think about it. Thanks for offering” Paige concedes.  
They get James in daycare and go to PT. To Nathan surprise her PT is one of the people the burglar broke and entered in earlier that week. They recognized each other. Magnus thanks Nathan enthusiastically. Paige looks surprised. They know each other?  
“I got robbed this past weekend. He got the burglar” Magnus quickly explains her, she nods. “See you later Nathan” Magnus says and gets to the building.  
Nathan goes play with Cookie. They get a bit far towards some warehouses that he thought were empty but now some big cans and boxes are getting there. The warehouse is not too far from the beach. Nathan wonders what that is. He is not at the door when she leaves, but the Bronco is there. Where did he go unannounced?   
“PT finished. Where are you?” Paige texts him.  
“Sorry. Cookie took me near the beach. Going back.” Nathan texts her.  
A few minutes later he arrives. They pick up James.  
“Still up for gaming? Dinner at my place?” He asks her. She glances at James which is falling asleep on the carrier. Then nods. He explains her why he wasn’t at the door, although she had not poked on that.  
When they get in, to her surprise there are now lavenders at the entrance and living room. And is that lilies and lilac somewhere? They sat James on his carrier on the couch.  
“Some pasta?” Nathan offers. She nods.  
“I thought you were a pancake person” Paige comments.  
“You prefer pancakes for dinner?” Nathan asks surprised.  
“Which pasta do you have?” Paige asks him joining him in the kitchen.   
“Italian, spanish” Nathan replies. Showing two boxes.  
“Ateteria? Fidedua?” Paige misreads.  
“Aletria. Fideua. Sam have spanish roots so they got them. Ever tried those? Not even paella?” Nathan asks her, she denies. “Spanish days at their place are quite interesting. They do them on sundays. I’ll ask them about the next one if you want to try those meals” Nathan cheerfully offers.  
“I don’t know them that much. I am ok to try that aletria one. James?” Paige asks.  
“Fruit salad?” Nathan offers. She nods. “Let me show you how the game goes. You can practice while I prepare that. I thought to get used to the combos and such, start with Tekken 3. Or we can play other game that you prefer” Nathan explains her how it goes. Then goes to the kitchen to prepare dinner for them three. James looks amazed at the screen.  
“Table, couch or floor?” Nathan ask her mid attack.   
“What?” Paige asks back confused.  
“Where do we have dinner?” Nathan asks waving the bowls. Paige choose couch, middle option. Nathan brings the bowl for James first. Then for them both. James again is both curious about their meals and wants to share his with both of them. Nathan explains her about aletria, how varies from place to place but is more typical in the south.   
Later they play round one. He had a chalk board ready to note the wins for each. He assigned her lavender and himself green. James sat between them, Cookie behind.  
The tournament of tekken ends up with a tie, 5 to 5. She lost the first 3, won the next 3 and the last 2.  
Untie?” He offers.  
Other game? A tournament is not just one game, right?” Paige offers.  
“Ok. Pick the one you prefer. strategy, arcade, puzzles, sports?” Nathan offers. Both notice that James has fallen asleep on Cookie. “Carrier?” Nathan asks her. She considers if leaving for the day. He not has a crib. And is true some nights James had slept with her on the bed, both them too tired after night tale. But they can’t leave him alone unsupervised on a surface where he can roll over and fall to the floor. As if knowing they are talking about him James wakes up a bit fuzzy. It might be better to get back home then, Paige decides.  
“I think we better get going. Is past his sleeping time. But thanks a lot. I admit it was fun. Not my favourite kind of game, but it did de-stress.” Paige offers quickly hugging him and picking James up.  
“Ok. I’ll drive you back” Nathan offers. Is not far but James is half asleep on the carrier again.   
She hugs him back at her door, and to his surprise, she caress his pained jaw.  
“I don’t know much about spanish but I’ve heard Sam say that in daycare. Sanita sana. Is suppoused to magically heal a small injury.” Paige offers softly. Nathan knows that, yet is enthrilled she has done that, he nods. Both Paige and James get back home. Nathan still stands amazed. How come she had been that soft now? Cookie gently hits his knee. Ok, time to get back home.

Saturday, 11 february 2012  
Nathan got invited that morning for lunch by both Dwight and Sam. But he moves both offers for the next day dinner and lunch respectfully. He rather have the morning for his own and do some hiking. He goes just with a backpack and Cookie to the Wuornos shed in the woods. He hadn’t gone there after he moved Audrey belongings there. Going to the shed is emotionally conflicting. He has both really nice memories with Audrey there and pretty much the opposite about Mara. He still wonder how come such opposite personalities can be related. He even had to chain Mara, who was a constant challange and pusher. Who knew what happened there and used that to try to inflict emotional damage on him to try to get what she wanted no matter the cost. But the next parts of the diaries are there. He only kept the part strictly involving Audrey at his home. Reading some of them gave him some comfort after he had a nightmare. She always comforted him. He was so hesitant about her knowing that about him, an adult still has nightmares. He has been always hesitant of a partner or possible partner knowing that. Even not all his friends know. Audrey adviced him aromatherapy at some point. That is why at some point he got the habit of having fresh flowers at home, manliness not relevant.

By the afternoon he returns back home. After a light lunch he goes back to the Cape Rouge. Paige had asked Nathan about the woman in the 80s newspaper report, Lucy Ripley. He has showed her another view of the sea from the ship. Finding Lucy was the first time Audrey kissed him. He didn’t expect that, didn’t knew what to do. He had been fond of her for quite a while. When she returned none of them commented on that right away. That gets him a bit nervous.  
An hour later Paige gets there with James. Cookie welcomes them, Nathan carries James carrier up and helps her get to the deck. Nathan has the Lucy diaries ready, she was a women very appreciated by anyone back in her times.   
But as soon as Paige sits again on the wide orange chair that used to belong to Duke she has another flashback related to him. She looks frozen. Nathan and James notice.  
“You ok?” Nathan asks her concerned. She denied. She signs for “vision”. He nods.  
“It was the ship owner, Duke?. I, she was here. He had her clothes. She was angry at him. She not liked him. He helped her. There was a poker event, someone took the ship. They helped each other. She made him strip. He could not touch blood, something strange happened to his eyes. He helped her. She was fond of him. She asked him to kill someone. She did that? She killed? Then they went on a trip. They kissed. She kissed him, she was so conflicted. He had a lodger, a box, a necklace that was Lucy’s. He said he knew Lucy as a child for the 80s newspaper report and she gave him the necklace. What is all that?” Paige asks confused and feeling conflicted. Did Audrey ended up liking Duke? Did they date? How come Duke knew Lucy? If so how come Nathan did not knew her back then?  
“Audrey was an FBI agent. She had to. Other than Mara only Duke family could stop the Troubles by killing the troubled himself, but he’d catch the trouble, so it could be triggered. Troubles did only manifest once an emotional trigger happened. Audrey was immune to Troubles for a long time in fact she helped to stop them, to help the Troubled to keep it under contol, she gave them emotional comfort which calmed the triggered, same as were Lucy, Sarah” Nathan explains her.  
“I saw the press report on the flash. It said about a Colorado Kid, but it looked like a young adult. What does that has to do with Lucy? Why she was on that picture?.”Paige asks.  
“I’ll explain you some other day, ok? I think it’ll be better to rest and let that settle first” Nathan offers, gently patting her hand. She nods and he drives them back to her place.

She wonders about the new name. Who is Sarah? And who is the Colorado Kid? How come seems there is no way she can not know much about Lucy yet? She has noticed he seems more relaxed around her as of late. Daycare has become a nice routine for them all. He has proven to be efficient and resolutive. So maybe she should add him as authorized on the list. Fact is she has managed to grade all the exams even a day before planned. He is always willing to cooperate, offer to cook, take care of James further even, just so she can relax or focus on some other task. She shared him the picture, so it makes her wonder, if he were to take care of James more often and some milestone happen, would he tell her? Well he already updated about the teddies. So he is quite involved with James already. They seemed to have a connection from the start. She teases him about it but she has to admit she is thankful about that. Yet she is curious to meet more OBPIs in town and doesn’t know how. She’ll think about it after Valentine.


	7. 7

Sunday, 12 february 2012

Paige wakes quite early. Both her and James fell asleep on the bed after he woke in the middle of the night, no nightmare just nappies change. What to do that free day? Paul kept texting her, and not about the conservatory visit. Pointless small talk when he is bored, lots of pointless emojis. Really? How can she make it clear she is not interested in that with him? Coincidence or not her panace beanie is on her night stand. Would he get the hint? A friendlier text gets in. Luke invites them over for lunch, so after tidying and cleaning home, with some pauses, they get ready and go to Luke’s. He and Sandra are very friendly. She and Luke talk about crochet and they compliment her on her beanie. Sandra is curious about the videogame tournament. Luke will join too. Looks like she won’t have another choice but join too. So she texts Nathan.  
“Luke will join the tournament.”   
“Good. That means you will join too?” Nathan wonders.  
“Do I have another choice?” Paige replies eyerolling and smiling to herself.  
“You can always say no. Is ok. As you prefer” Nathan replies.  
“I know that, Wesley” Paige jokes. He goes to reply confused, why she says that when he says that? Then she text him again “they liked the panace beanie. Clueless about meaning, so sadly Paul will be too”  
“What’s about Paul?” Nathan asks back.   
“You know, the flirty teacher. He keeps flirting. I thought to bring the beanie tomorrow, maybe he gets the hint that I am not interested in him. I’m rambling and complaining. Sorry” Paige replies, for some reason she blushes and leaves her phone back on her pocket. Nathan not understands why she apologises. He read the message over and over.   
Cookie barks, they will get late at Sam’s. Sam has lunch later on sunday and prepares quite a long meal, because family gatherings take hours of talking. Nice way to catch up. The main point is the main course, usually paella on sunday, but has many entree in the way of tapas like ensaladilla or tortilla bites and ocassionally several previous courses mainly some seafood or fish, and the sobremesa: sweet dessert, tea or coffee and some gossiping. In their case more like special interest infodumping. Amelia and Ava are also there. Amelia offers him a haircut that week which he agrees to, while he plays with Ava. Nathan comments them about Paige getting curious about the spanish culture. He is not aware he has been talking about her and James quite a lot, as they’ve become another special interest of him. He not seem as conflicted or confused as a few weeks back. Sam tolds him they bought Daniela’s part and she will come over for a quick visit soon, but Ivan still want to sell the shop. They have the clinic appointment that monday. Nora will try first. And next year Sam will do, because they want to have children around the same age. Nathan is so happy for them he offers them to decoupage a nursery. Since they are in a sea town, they pick naval theme, regardless of what the baby’s gender will be, although the name will be either Roberto or Marta. For desserts joins them Julia and Dylan. They remind Nathan about his medical check up that wednesday.

Meanwhile, unaware to her, Paige also talks quite a lot about Nathan with Luke and Sandra. Luke assumes they might be a couple. From what he saw and she told him about, Nathan cares about her PT, takes James to daycare, late dinners at her place, him cooking. Seems quite couple-like for Luke.  
“So, was he busy at work today?” Luke asks her suddenly. Paige is confused, what?  
“Sorry if I got it wrong. I thought you two were an item. So I wondered” Luke excuses himself.   
“Oh, we are just friends. Is his day off, he is at some friends too” Paige explains. How come they thought? They seem an item? Sandra is quick to difuss the tension and brings up another topic.  
Later as Paige gets back home she gets a text from Vickie inviting James and her over to play with Aaron at Gloria’s. Vickie has become like a daughter to the M.E. Gloria cheerfully greets her, complimenting on her beanie. While James and Aaron do tummy time, rolling over, Aaron trying to hold himself ready to crawl, James looks at him curious and tries to do the same but he can’t yet, so he sits and babbles. He points at a blue cardigan and says “ba”, then at a green block “ga”. Earning clapping from the olders. He kept going on “mama”, “ca” he says showing the dog teddy, “dada” showing the policeman teddy. Seriously James? Paige looks a bit confused at them.  
“He is just babbling now. I guess since he sees him often. I can’t correct him yet, he is small to reason that” Paige explains. Gloria pats her gently.  
“Is ok. Aaron calls both of us mom, none of us are biologically his mom”.

Back at home Nathan looks for his baby crib. Did Elizabeth gave it to Marta when Sam was born and he not remembers? He can’t ask it back now, but he thought to assamble it so next time James comes over if he falls asleep they not have to rush going back to her home. He likes their company. He’ll have to solve that somehow. He revises which materials he’ll need for Nora’s nursery. He not seems to know is not adviced to prepare that so early, miscarriages can happen.  
He goes at Dwight for dinner, Lizzie enjoys to play fetch with Cookie by the backyard while Dwight and Nathan catch up about the week. Nathan has told him about her flashes and he wonders if at the end Audrey will be back or not. Dwight is yet shocked to know about Charlotte and keeps asking Nathan what else does he know about her. At some point Nathan looks at him quizzical.  
“I know althought it was pretty quick you liked her, a lot. But probably is not the same Charlotte, she won’t know you if she sees you. And even if it does, that’d mean at some point that Lizzie would be Paige’s step-sister, and James your grandson. Had you thought that?” Nathan reasons him.  
“I would have no problem with that. So have you thought about the possibility that Audrey might not be back then? To move on with Paige? Do you like her?” Dwight replies him.  
“I don’t know. Gloria asked me too when she saw James picture. She sent me at work” Nathan tries to explain.  
“Oh, true. A single mom not shares that with anyone. I not talk about Lizzie with just anyone. I have my rules with dating. I am clear that I am a single father. If is not going to be serious i not let them meet. I can’t let her get fond of someone that will run away, because they just wanted some fun with the local viking, I am aware they refer to me as such. Is not like I like casual, but is the best so far given the circumstances” Dwight replies to him.  
“First, we are not dating. Secondly, you are the third to tell me that exact sentence, so now is fined, it’ll cost you help me find a crib for James” Nathan replies. Dwight eyerolls.  
“Not dating? But getting a crib for James” Dwight points out.  
“I was not going to tell anyone that but, the other day, Cookie threw some papers. It was medical letters. Her blood type is same as Audrey, and his is same as mine. Coincidence?” Nathan whispers at him. Dwight looks puzzled.  
“So are you going to tell her then?” Dwight asks him.  
“We’ll get there when we’ll get there”  
Someone approaches them. Lizzie runs to hug him. He enthusiastically greets Dwight. Is Magnus, Paige’s PT, and apparently Dwight’s friend, and Nathan did not know about. Them all get home to have dinner. After dessert Nathan gets curious about the PT exercises, and he keeps asking about them. He notes it on his phone. Dwight eyerolls.  
“Not dating?” Dwight texts him. Nathan ignores the message and keeps asking Magnus. Dwight keeps looking puzzled at Nathan. Dinner finished, soon later, Magnus leaves.  
“Just friends, really? You are so oblivious” Dwight tells him.  
“Helping someone be comfortable is not dating or being flirty with them.” Nathan protests him.  
“Who is dating who?” Lizzie asks them curious.  
“Nobody sweetie. No need to dating now” Dwight tells her. Nathan eyerolls.  
“I want to do the Saint Valentine activities” Lizzie protests.  
“The dance is for the Middle. You can exchange notes that week with anyone you want”  
“Or, Paige is organizing a landscapes photography contest, comics exchange, movie marathon, if you are not that interested in the dancing and so on, maybe your class can join?” Nathan replies.  
“Awesome. She is the best teacher. My friend Ethan likes her classes more because she signs him. He is coming to the conservatory. Can I sit with him, please?” Lizzie says looking nervous. Does she likes Ethan?  
“You know, school pairs by surname. Is not possible” Dwight tells her.  
“Please, can you tell her? She is your friend, right? I’ll have to sit with Johana instead, she is so mean” Lizzie asks Nathan.  
“I don’t think it’ll do much, but I’ll comment her about that” Nathan offers. Dwight eyerolls again.  
Shorthly after he gets back home. Why Dwight keeps thinking they are dating? They aren’t. He does not know why he consults him at times, he always read things that way. Because if is just poking fun, at this point, is not funny.  
Nathan sends Paige pictures of Sam’s meal, explaining what is each meal. She is curious to try some of them at some point. James is asleep curled by her side on the bed, policeman teddy protectivelly cuddled by James, the lullaby song on loop. Soon after she falls asleep too.

Monday, 13 february 2012  
This week Nathan works night shift, but for friday, day off. So he intends to sleep in the mornings. But by 8am Sam texts him. Their car broke and they were meant to be at the clinic by 10 am, given that Portland is an hour away. So he gets ready and drives them to Portland. He stays there until the appointment is over to drive them back. He enterntains himself visiting some music and craft shops for a couple hours. He got some materials for decoupage for Nora’s nursery.  
Back at his home after his shopping is put in place he gets some rest. Hopefully night shift will be quiet. By 5pm his alarm clock buzzes. Cookie not dares to be close to the device now, so they try to wake Nathan by gently poking his hand with their muzzle. Nathan still asleep. So Cookie insists. Finally Nathan wakes. By 5:30pm he knocks at her door.  
He comments her that Lizzie wants to be paired up with Ethan. She looks at him curiously.  
“Dinner at Dwight yesterday” Nathan explains.  
“Asked to be sat with him in class the past week too. They were talking about the reading. During recess she was looking at him. I think she likes Ethan” Paige resolves.  
“Or she just likes his company” Nathan replies.  
“Was she nervous when she told you? Blushing?” Paige asks Nathan.  
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Nathan feels confused.  
“If she was nervous or blushing, chances are she likes Ethan” Paige replies.  
“Anyways, what do I tell her when Dwight asks?” Nathan asks her.  
“I’ll see if Paul is ok to pair them together. There are enough parents going to that visit so I won’t go. I have to stay in contact until they are back. If I go James will have to be in daycare almost all day.” Paige reasons.  
“Ok, so I’ll tell them it depends on Paul then.” Nathan concludes and gets to daycare with James. 

To Paige’s patience Paul is still flirty with her. How can she make him stop without seeming rude? The whole situation is making her feel tense, and while picking up a light box she has to stop mid move. Tension is getting to her shoulder, and really having a micro-injury now. She tries to not talk to him, just short sentences. He is still annoyingly flirty. His lame excuse, the same one she is tired of, performative. “Tomorrow is Valentine. Will you be alone?” and the like. As if she is not aware what day is tomorrow.   
She gets back home as soon as possible. She can’t help her face arriving home.   
“Everything fine at rehearsal?” Nathan greets her, tone as usual. But Paige feels yet affected by Paul’s forward behaviour. She replies in an as neutral tone as possible, yet Nathan notices.  
“Yeah, all fine. Same old, same old. Been waiting long?” She says opening the main door.  
“Are you sure, you are ok? Was Paul as annoying?” Nathan asks her concerned.  
“I rather not talk about it. So, how’s been your day?” Paige replies holding James. Nathan looks puzzled but follows her in. As she sits James to play with blocks she repeats the question.  
“I went to Portland. Sam and Nora had an appointment. Their car broke”  
He still notices her tense. How could he help?  
James is waving to them so they play with blocks with him. Nathan soon follows. Maybe she just needs some time on her own. Nathan spells out encouraging words with the blocks. Be it on purpose or at random, Paige picks on it and looks at him curious.  
“You know, you can de-stress as you need. Nap or anything, right? Talk it out?” Nathan offers.  
“Thanks but I don’t think ranting will help much” Paige replies.  
“Movie?” Nathan offers. She ponders, and finally nods.  
After a movie, again James waved to sit in between and mid movie fell asleep, Nathan leaves back home. He is still amazed he can see James every day, he can’t tell everything yet, he wonders how can he? What if after all she not remembers nor is back? And why is Dwight insisting they are dating? They aren’t. Right?

Tuesday, 14 february 2012

Paige wakes barely well rested. Panace beanie on, purple fingerless gloves on, she gets James to daycare and gets to class herself. She hopes Paul will take the hint and stop annoying her.   
Thankfully he seems busy so they barely pass by, or talk for most of the day.  
For some reason Dylan and Bobby are in bad mood with each other. Paige noticed odd glances at each other at first hour. During recess there is a fight. To her confusion they are the ones fighting. As they get stopped she takes them to the principal’s office. None of the guys explains why they were fighting. So both get detention and get a phonecall home.   
Paige texts Nathan about the incident, more to distract herself from it all than to inform. Just as the proncipal is calling Rebecca and Hannah. Rebecca and Nathan are patrolling in the car.  
“Dylan got in a fight with the Driscoll kid” Rebecca tells in annoyance. Paige did not tell him Bobby was involved. Rebecca drives to Middle School. Soon she can see they are not injured, still that behaviour is not ok. Still with their mothers there, none of them say why they were fighting. But somehow Paige notices. As they waited to the office, Lily passed by, and they shared a glance. She thought that thing no longer happened. Wrong, fights over extreme emotions still happen. Should she comment about that in class, to prevent possible fights in the future? How?  
True they get some talks in school, but not really about healthy coping mechanism or healthy relationships. She is distracted thinking how to prevent that, she not notices both Rebecca and Nathan have arrived. As both mothers and the students are in the principal’s office, Nathan approaches Paige in the corridor, smiles and nods at her beanie.  
“I can’t believe that still happen. Worst part is, I know why they were fighting over. But both deny it” Paige says. Nathan looks confused. “Both like the same girl. Both deny it.”  
“Does she likes any of them? Not the first time it turns out they are not interested. Toxic masculinity. Keep insisting. Eventually she’ll say yes.” Nathan replies. Paige looks confused. “I am aromantic not unaware about toxic behaviour”  
“I am wondering how to prevent that in class. Should I show that I know?” Paige wonders.  
“Maybe a talk in class about toxic behaviour would help?” Nathan offers. “From what I’ve heard some grown up teachers could use it here too. He’d been annoying today too?” Nathan asks her.  
“We barely passed by today. But there is rehearsal later so.” Paige replies. The principal’s door opens. The mothers storm out of the building. Nathan trying to catch up. Both Hannah and Rebecca give him an odd look. What has he done wrong?  
“I can’t believe he got in a fight. He would not say over what. A comic book? Really? I don’t believe it” Rebecca rambles annoyed.  
“Maybe is true” Nathan offers.  
“Did you pick a fight over comics?” Rebecca asks him. Nathan thinks back.  
“I was a geek, but not to that point” Nathan replies.  
“Right. You fought over girls, like them both, but none admits. Isn’t too soon for that? I should talk about it. How? How can he be doing that? I not give him a bad example, do I?” Rebecca rambles.  
“I did not fight over, anything, like that. Well, you do your part, but you know some set phrases not help. The thing is, does the girl likes any of them?” Nathan replies.  
“I don’t even know who the girl is. I just hope that won’t happen again, I did not raise my son to be like that” Rebecca concludes.

After rehearsal Paige gets back home. Nathan is not sure if he’d be offered to stay a bit or she ‘d rather be alone. First conflict like that with her students. He sure notices her tense. So he stands by the door.  
“Are you back to being a vampyre that only comes in if invited?” Paige says jokingly.  
He follows her in.   
“Um, sorry if you’d think is wrong but, I did some research and, today other places celebrate friendships so, I have a tittle something.” Paige says as not nervous as she can. Why nervous? Nathan nods a bit confused. She leaves to her office. Nathan sits next to James who looks as confused. Paige comes back, holding a bag.  
“Like for instance, Estonia celebrates friendship. Some exchange gifts” she gives him the bag.  
To his surprise is a woolen crocheted beanie in green tones.  
“I hope it fits well. Truth is I’ve not seen you wear beanies or anything” Paige pauses.   
“I am gifting you as a thank you for everything friendly you’ve done for me so far. I considered other possible gifts, like a book or a flowerpot too.” Paige suddenly goes quiet. Nathan for once is more curious than confused. A kind gesture. She has been wondering how he’d react. But she wanted to have a kind gesture like that, why not? Nathan smiles happilly.  
“Thank you, really. I did not expect that. Is very kind of you. I have no gift back.” Nathan replies yet smiling. Paige seems to finally calm down a bit and nods and waves her hand.  
“Is ok, no need to. You do a lot” Paige replies. James looks at them curiously and grins. Nathan wonders briefly if hug or not.  
“Movie? You pick” Paige offers going back to her office.  
After the movie, they have and early dinner, Nathan insisting on cooking and cleaning, after a long hug Nathan goes to work.  
He feels cheerful. He did not expect that. He wonders if that is why she was tense. She seemed a lot more relaxed after that.

Wednesday, 15 february 2012

Medical check up has been set early in the morning so he is done before midday. He decides to work on decoupaging the nursery. He is working in the backyard, headphones on, music and headbouncing, back door open, front door locked. Cookie running around him. His phone forgotten somewhere at home. He thought to do a furniture piece only although he has more ready to decoupage. But after a quick lunch, phone yet forgotten, he works on the next furniture. He misses the alarm buzz. 

Paige is a bit worried he has not replied to any text. Has he been offended by yesterday? Has she overstepped? Has she made things odd? She decides to check on him.  
She rings the door bell. No reply. Did he had a morning shift today? Did the medical checkup not went well? While she ponders what to do, Cookie comes running to James’ stroller. Cookie happily barks and runs around them, then runs towards the backyard, waiting in the corner for them to catch up. Nathan unaware to all that continues with his task.  
Paige looks curiously, James shouts waving his hands, his teddy falling to the ground next to Nathan’s working table. Nathan looks at the teddy confused before picking it up. Had James left his teddy? Had he brought the teddy by accident last night? And Paige has not asked him? Wait, where is his phone? He worriedly checks on his pockets. Finally he looks on his right to find Paige and James there. She looks amused. Now he notices what time must be.  
“Sorry, sorry. I lost track of time. I left the phone inside.” Nathan explains worriedly.  
“Is fine. I just came over to check by, you were not replying, I worried something bad would had happened.” Paige replies trying to sound comforting.  
“Come on in. I’ll drive you to daycare. At your place later, right?” Nathan offers walking in. Furniture outside. Paige glances at the piece curiously.  
“Is part of the nursery for Sam’s child. Is decoupage. Need to dry out yet.” Nathan explains.  
“Is Nora three months along?” Paige asks him getting to his living room.  
“No. I know, is quite soon, still I prefred to have it ready. No need to say is a secret” Nathan explains.  
“I see. Can drive me to rehearsal?” Paige asks him.  
“Have you thought how to manage the fight?” Nathan asks her.  
“Yeah. I will talk to the class about toxic behaviour. I hope that will help.”

Nathan goes to pick up Paige early from rehearsal. When Paige leaves the theatre room she finds Nathan talkimg to the AV teacher.  
“You didn’t told me you are friends with the old AV Club president.” The teacher comments happily.  
“President?” Paige comments confused. Nathan looks, embarrassed? Nervous? Why?  
Unaware to them Paul is looking at them annoyed.  
James now babbles longer at the back seat. Nathan parks in front of the home.  
“So, you really are ok to babysit James during the dance? It’ll finish at 9 or so. By that time James is already sleeping” Paige suddenly asks him. He nods. “Ok, come on in then”  
Nathan follows her in.   
“Well, dinner routine you know it well. But sleeping routine you don’t, right?” Paige continues. Again Nathan just nods. He notices some chocolate boxes on the dinner table.  
“The best part of Saint Valentine, is when it’s over, chocolates get on discount.” Paige explains. She holds James and goes upstairs. Nathan follows. She shows him James’ sleeping routine. James giggling, only confused by the getting on the crib. That early?  
“I took care of kids before” Nathan reminds her at the end.  
“I know, but every kid has their routine. For instance, James prefers that tale, and to hold that baby blanket if he can’t sleep. You knew that?” Paige explains. Nathan denies with his head.  
“Ok, now I know” Nathan agrees.  
They go to the living room.  
“So, some chocolates and a movie?” Paige offers, holding one of the chocolate boxes.  
“So, AV Club presindent?. Quite geeky” Paige comments jokingly.  
“Yeah, I was. Am. Nothing wrong.” Nathan replies.  
“How is the nursery coming out?” Paige asks him. She is quite chatty today.  
“Well advanced. Rehearsal?” Nathan asks back. He meant the play? The fight? Paul?  
“Fight was resolved by the principal. Again, thankfully Paul is quiet, so no news on if Lizzie can be paired up with the other classmate. By the way can you keep helping me learn more ASL?” Paige answers. He nods. Box finished, shortly after sunset Nathan goes back home.  
How come he almost forgot to get James to daycare? Well she not lost her trust in him, she taught him James routine for friday, but still.

Thursday, 16 february 2012

The day welcomes everyone with big clouds that not look friendly. Forecaster did not predict that. For a moment Havenites thought back when there were Troubles in town. But, are normal rainy clouds. It feels more freezing, colder wind breeze. Paige hopes it won’t affect her. She tries to wear as warm and comfortable as possible.

Still after rehearsal it rains heavily, her car not works. Perfect, just perfect. As she gets out the car and goes to pick her phone, she hears a car stopping in front of her.  
“Get in. Will fix the car later” a voice tells her. She looks up, to find in surprise it was Nathan. How did he knew?  
As she gets in the Bronco, he passes her a warm blanket.  
“It was raining heavily before I picked James. He is fine. I figured to come here instead” Nathan explains. She nods.  
“My car broke, again” Paige says disappointed.  
“But you are fine, is what matters. Will see to fix the car later” Nathan reasons, she nods. Finally they get to her place.  
They finish up preparing for the aromantic activities for next day. Making sure to have the comics, landscape pictures, videogames and movies ready.  
“Yours were similar?” Paige asks him glancing at the landscapes. Nathan looks confused “Don’t AV took pictures?”   
“I took more pictures of flowers, insects and such. But those are nice. The woods, the lighthouse.” Nathan explains.  
“By the way, thanks for the movie list, made it a lot easier. Well categorized. Since the event will be 5 hours, we’ll watch 3 movies. I’m passing the list anyways. Some students asked me if we’ll do more activities like those along the year” Paige explains.  
“Great. Well, you are the event organizer. But it’d be nice if some activities could be done all through the year.” Nathan concedes.  
“I’ll try, but also depends on them being interested or not.” Paige replies. She suddenly shivers and touches her shoulder. He has a questioning look.  
“Is just the cold gets in. It gets painful, tense and sore. That’s all.” Paige explains.   
“Some heating pad?” Nathan questions. He remembers where she commented him she has it. As soon as he passes it his alarm buzzes.  
“I have to get going. I’ll check on the car. Take care, I hope it gets better” Nathan tells standing up. She accompanies him to the door.  
“Thanks, take care you too.” Paige tells hugging him quickly.  
Nathan goes to work, he indeed checks on the car while patrolling. Many trees have fallen. Thankfully none caused big damage, still makes moving around difficult and caused many incidents all through the night, so the shift lasted longer.

Friday, 17 february 2012

Nathan and Paige exchanged some texts late last night. Updates on the storm aftermath mostly. But given that updates hinted clear that driving to work tomorrow would be difficult, both Luke and Vickie offered her a drive to school. The first to offer was Vickie. Paige’s car is in the garage, will be fine later, just a hose that failed.  
They talk while driving, mostly about the kids. Aaron now crawls.  
After classes, her shoulder keeps bothering her, heating seems to not be helping much. She hopes taking a nap will help, but turns out she overslept. Awoken by the front door bell ring.   
As she opens the door, Nathan welcomes with a smile. His left hand behind his back holding a bag. She looks at him quizzical.  
“Well, I thought, you had a nice gesture, so why not?” Nathan replies passing her the bag.  
“What is this? You didn’t had to” Paige answers.  
“Check it.” Nathan replies, waving his hands enthusiastically. That got her more curious.  
She sets the bag on the table and finally opens the gift wrapper, to find out is a small box with some drawers. It’s decorated in different tones of purple, in flower shapes.  
“A box for your gloves. I thought it might be useful. And you seem to like purple, so.” Nathan explains, yet unsure how to read her quietness. She suddenly hugs him.  
“Thank you, really” Paige says happily. Suddenly James shouts and waves happilly.  
Nathan holds him up and they play with the toys. Paige goes upstairs to get ready. She has thought if take the event as something normal or more special. Some students asked her if given that the dancers will be dressed up, can they dress up too? More like as their favourite character. So she had considered doing the same, but does she really has a fave character to dress alike? So she decides to just go a bit more stylish: a flower themed blouse in green tones, a grey blazer and matching trousers. For her hair, just some small hair claws along, in different metal colours. She should had appointed a hairdresser earlier to get something fancier. Braids would had been nice, maybe for another time.  
“Nice combination, toned aromantic” Nathan compliments her.  
“Thank you” she replies and quickly gets busy getting the things ready in the car, and so Nathan would not notice she is blushing. She knows she is blushing.  
“I should be back some point after 9. Remember his dinner time. I had his dinner prepared already in the fridge. Just heat it up. You prepare yourself what you like. I may have dinner with the teachers somewhere or something. Take care, and thanks a lot” Paige reminds him, kisses James temple and gives Nathan a quick hug.

Nathan repeats the gold routine. He finds amusing that James seems to enjoy music that much. During tummy time, James tries to do as he saw Aaron do, but he still can’t hold himself. Yet Cookie notices and tries to help. Cookie lays next to James, making sure the kid looks at them, then Cookie carefully crawls around the floor. James looks but is doubtful to move. Cookie lays on the floor again and this time stands instead of just crawl. James gives another try to hold himself on his hands. Cookie helps him slightly with the rebalancing with their muzzle. Finally seems that James can hold himself ready to crawl. Nathan makes sure to record it. James is so happy with his milestone he shouts happily. Yet he not moves. Nathan offers him the teddy, so he moves to actually crawl. And he does, one, two. He gets up to 5 until he sits tired. Still a milestone.  
Nathan texts her.  
“Spoilers: there is a wonderful surprise from James”   
“That spoiler is not saying much. Spoiler about what?”   
“Moving milestone”  
“Really? Is he crawling? He is crawling and I am missing it?!”   
“I recorded it. He learnt, he’ll do crawl more. Which means to keep more an eye on his whereabouts now. Next is standing, cruising. Opening drawers and reaching anything at his height”   
“He is crawling and I missed it!” She repeats.  
“And he will do when you are back.” Nathan repeats, yet she feels like she is missing his milestones, and he knows. She said that before. That is why he considered not telling her.  
Quickly he picks a paper and draws James hands on each side, paints them in purple, writes a text, picks some blocks. Takes a picture and sends it to her.  
She left her phone in her bag, better be focused on the activities.  
Two movies later, a winner for the arcade videogame, 15 comics exchanged, top 5 landscapes pictures later, she checks her phone.  
“Have fun” on hand writing, “mom” with the blocks. Almost like every PT welcoming. How can he be that creativelly affectionate and other times seems stoic and clueless? She feared she had overstepped with the gifting. But they are on the same page, right? Just supportive friends and is fine.  
After dinner, Nathan sits on the couch with James. The kid is looking on the spot Paige uses to sit.  
“Your mom is not home yet. Will be later. Movie?” Nathan tells James, who quickly nods.  
After the movie, Nathan gets James ready to sleep, reads his favourite tale, but no voices? James looks puzzled. He is used to be read tales with different voices for the dialogues. Nathan notices now and reads with voices. Soon James falls asleep. Nathan kisses his temple before going downstairs. 

He continues reading the book he brought, waiting she returns. He figures she’d had dinner already, so gets the one he had prepared in the fridge.  
Finally she gets home. As she opens the door, home is quiet. Cookie welcomes her wagging their tail happily. Nathan is asleep on the couch. The book falls off to the floor and that wakes him.  
“Um, how it was?” He asks half asleep. She briefly smiles to herself because how his sleepy hair looks.  
“It went great. They loved it. They want to keep the activities all through the year. How it was here? Did he crawl much? Did you record it, right?” Paige asks. He shows his phone.  
“Cookie taught him?” Paige asks surprised. Cookie wagging his tail happily.   
“Yeah, they did. He did not crawl much more, 5 steps, but will get there” Nathan replies happily.  
“He had dinner? Sleeping fine?” Paige asks.  
“Yes. He wanted to try mine, but I am not sure if he could. Lasagna. Cheese, lactose. So, he got a bit moody but I gave him some fruit instead. Pear. There’s some lasagna in the fridge if you want” Nathan explains. She is impressed everything is well taken care of. “About sleeping, he looked quizzical until I voiced the dialogues. You forgot to tell me about that” Nathan banters.  
“Or you missed that observation” she banters back.  
She checks up sleepy James upstairs briefly. She returns holding a keyring. Nathan looks confused.  
“So you both not have to wait outside until I get back, or if it rains. Keys to the place” Paige explains. Nathan picks them, and goes quiet for a while. He seems to be processing something, not quite sure himself what it is.  
“So, ready for the tournament tomorrow? I practiced a bit today.” Paige offers.  
“You looking forward to the tournament?” Nathan asks surprised, she seemed to not want to.  
“It helps to de-stress, and it’ll be fun. Specially to see Sandra winning. You bring the devices? My tv is fine for yours, right?”   
“Yeah, we’ll see who wins.” Nathan banters back.  
Not much later Nathan goes back home. He saw James crawling. He does not know what to think about the keys. True he has other friends’ copies for if something happens, but it feels different somehow. 

Saturday, 18 february 2012

By midday Nathan comes over, videogaming set ready. They cook together for them four. Soon arrive Luke and Sandra, they kindly compliment Paige, who is wearing small claws again. They are friendly with James, specially Sandra. To the friends surprise James crawls around curiously. Cookie following closer.   
After lunch, the guys insist on cleaning up while the women talk calmly. Sandra got curious about the claws. Is not like her hair is not nicely styled, is just is not usual that Paige styles her hair. Sandra has tails, braids even, at times. Luke does them happily. It may seem stupid, but in those moments Paige has a longing to have someone closer, a partner. It makes her feel overwhelmed at times, so much she can’t put it into words, and given she is a literature teacher is saying a lot.

Tournament ends up tied up, Nathan vs Sandra, as everyone expected.  
So they do 5 rounds of rematch, if none wins, the rules they set says they will play another game that is not the prefered of any so they can untie.  
And it gets to that point. The chosen game has cartoons that gets James attention, so he waves everytime the character spins around. Surprise, that is when the character loses a life. While the gamers complain losing, James waves happily, he finds the spinning amusing.  
Drumroll, winner is Sandra. Sportive congratulations are exchanged, soon after Sandra and Luke leave.

Paige has been wondering all week, well, since she got the movie list. Which is his favourite aromantic movie. And comic?  
“Not to quote Richard Castle but you are not asking very loudly, yet you are asking. Not, it was not confusing. I actually liked it, thank you very much”. Nathan says refering to the beanie.  
“Good that you do. I was wondering which are your favourite aromantic comic, and movie?” Paige asks.  
“Oh, it was that? Thankfully too many to pick just one.” Nathan replies.  
“And, you have all the movies from the list?” Paige asks curious. Wait, that curiosity sounds familiar, Nathan thinks briefly.  
“Yeah. Would be a long marathon. Want to start in the list order?” Nathan offers. She nods.  
Truth be told is an on-going list he has done since Elizabeth passed away, so the list starts with 80s movies. Particularly with ET. There is not a romance plot, true Eliot kisses a classmate, but there is no romance per se. The usually stoic Nathan, still gets affected by the happenings to the ET. That surprises Paige, but in a way not feels strange. Is like she knew, not as a guess, but a sort of deja vu she can’t explain herself. Maybe it has to do with the flashbacks she guesses. She briefly ponders what to do, comment? Do nothing? Offer comfort? Is not the same, but he undoubtfully gave comfort when James was in the hospital, so she gets closer. That seems to be wordlessly understood, and they quietly cuddle for comfort. The movie is close to finish, Nathan hasn’t moved. Paige wonders if he had fallen asleep. Is not like she hadn’t. In a cafeteria to be exact. What Paige not knows is that the movie has double emotional effect on Nathan, true he is empathic witg the scenes, but also he remembers watching that movie with his mom, how his life was back then, how supportive and comforting and encouraging she was.  
Finally when the credits are rolling on the screen, he shifts. He goes to apologise.  
“No need to, is fine. I get it.” Paige gently tells him, and gives him a comforting smile. He nods and smiles back.   
Not much later he goes back home.  
Both affectionatelly miss the cuddle. Green beanie has been resting on his night stand. She looks at the teddy differently. He briefly wonders, does Dwight is right and he is still so oblivious?


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update on the story.
> 
> Paella, Paul insist again, (I’m considering an on paragraph reading warning: monday after theatre class), clothes shopping, he has nightmares, school visit, walk by the beach and ice-cream, infatuation vs love. And a flashback on the pier.
> 
> Hannah and Penny get reunited.
> 
> Daniela pays a visit (and yes, her friend is Penelope Alvarez).

Sunday, 19 february 2012  
Early morning, Paige put on her beanie, gloves, jacket and similarly, stroller baby blanket included, to a fussy James. He so not like to have his hands covered or limited to move, what fun is going on your stroller if you can’t grab random things at your reach? A leaf, a sticker, a fruit.  
She had been texting with her PT group lately and they made a morning appointment at the park.

Around the church Nathan is playing fetch with a very full of energy, Cookie. Soon joins them Bobby. He enjoyed talking about comics with him. Somehow, of course, the incident at school comes up. Bobby has been grounded for a month. Is not like Hannah has given him any proper talk other than a simple, “that is bad”, which puzzles Nathan, because he is not a kid, even a kid should not get such a reply, but he is not going to intrude on her parenting. Although he remembers if it weren’t for Roberto’s support his teens would had been worst. Maybe he can help Bobby somehow. 

“Has the school given any of you a talk about what happened?” Nathan asks him curious.  
“Not really. I guess they don’t know how or something. It’s been busy with Saint Valentine” Bobby explains him. Nathan just nods and goes to change the subject back to comics.   
“Are you going to tell my teacher? She is your friend, I know that” Bobby asks him.  
“Should I tell her what? School will decide. Tough to be grounded a month?” Nathan asks him.  
“Not really. Still, she hasn’t grounded me like that before” Bobby sort of complains.  
“Has she gone to see the Glendowers?” Nathan asks him.  
“No. Should she? She basically just works. Not much socialising” Bobby tells him. Hannah comes out asking for him.  
“Come on Bobby, we should get going. Hi Nathan” Hannah approaches them.  
“Been talking about comics. How have you been?” Nathan asks her politely.  
“Well, Bobby here got into a fight. Had to ground him. I hope that not happens again” Hannah reprimands Bobby who leaves to the car.  
“Had you talked to him about why that happened?” Nathan asks her.  
“Bad behaviour not needs justification.” Hannah replies.  
“I know, but at least you’d know why he thought fighting was the way to handle that. I know is a difficult time” Nathan offers.  
“Thank you, but I’ll solve it my way. I should get going” Hannah says going to her car.

Sam text them for last minute confirmation. They had invited them over a spanish lunch aswell as Amelia and Ava, Dwight and Lizzie, Julia and Dylan, Vickie and Jimmy, and their sister Daniela and their nephew Roberto are there aswell.

As Nathan arrives there he greets Ava which quickly waves cheerfully at him and Cookie. Sam and Daniela are busy finishing the main course in the kitchen. Soon a little kid with a double coloured front cowlick like Sam, runs to greet him too, Roberto, Daniela’s son. The kid is as cheerful as his grandfather and he loves music too. His favourite toy is an instrument. He is quite talkative, although at times he confuses english and spanish.  
Soon arrive the many other guests, including Paige and James, which greets Cookie waving happily. Cookie running around his stroller. All the kids gather together around Cookie. Nathan greets Paige and offers to hold James. She hasn’t told him but he has noticed since James is getting more weight it tires her nerves to hold him for long. She nods in agreement. Vickie greets her and introduces her fianceé Jimmy to her. Paige and Vickie offer to help setting the table with Nora.

Nora has Paige’s knive ready at her seat in case it’ll be needed.  
Sam has prepared smashed veggies, pasta, rice and diced fruits and valencian horchata which is made out of chufa, a vegetable, for the kids and toddlers. Older ones are offered beers and cold galician wine.

Nathan and Paige sat beside each other, a curious James sat in his lap. Sam and Daniela serve the cold tapas and entrees. Among others: ensaladilla, marinera, sliced meat platte (chorizo, lomo, jamón), cheese platte. James wants to try a bit of everything. Paige passes him a small bite of each to try, but of the meat as per Sam advice. Next goes a salad.

While the courses advance they update each other about their week.   
Before the paella de marisco is finally served Sam ask in a round which seafood do each prefer. Paige is undecided about which seafood to choose. So she asks Nathan.  
“Shrimp is in its shell” Nathan tells her. She likes shrimp but the peeling part. Nathan had explained her the seafood used in a paella. He mentioned her he prefers a meat one.  
“Squid, cuttlefish or octopus”. She finally resolves. To her surprise Nathan asked for the same.

Each squeezes the quarter of lemon over the paella. Paige just does as she sees.  
James gets curious about Nathan’s dish again, so he gives him some rice. James makes a funny face at a bit which had lemon drops. He has not eaten half his smashed sweet potato yet.   
Daniela gets interest in Paige and is quite talkative to her. Paige has noticed she and Nathan are quite affectionate, reminiscing of older times, inner jokes. And although she is happy for him she feels a bit out of place. 

“My friend in Los Angeles would love it here today, family gathering. She is so funny and lively. Cuban blood you know” Daniela comments.  
“If you move back in town, invite them over for the summer.” Sam tells Daniela.  
“She may like it so much here she’d move too, she’d have to transfer her PT too, and she finally found one specialised in her injury” Daniela replies.  
“Her injury?” Paige asks curious.  
“Work injury in her shoulder.” Daniela comments. That got Paige curious.

Once the courses are finished, dishes are taken to the kitchen and Sam brings a wide variety of sweet cream and chocolate desserts and the final beverage: tea or coffee. The Martin’s sibilings and Nathan order an asiatico coffee: which has condensed milk, coffee, cognac and cinnamon.

After all food is over everyone gets even more chatty, the called sobremesa, which in theory refers to the desserts but really is the gossiping or catching up after meal. That’s a long lunch. Nathan declines picking the same dessert as the Martin’s, merengue. 

“Too sugary” Nathan points out.  
“But that’s the fun of it. Sugary dessert.” Sam comes back.   
Paige gets a mint tea and a slice of a cream roll. Again James gets curious and wants to try a bite too, which Paige concedes.

When finally all food is over and after making some week appointments, like Vickie and Paige’s tea appointment, and clothes shopping with Nora and Amelia, all dishes are taken to the kitchen. Some guests start to leave, like Lizzie which has been playing around with Roberto and Cookie behind her, and had asked Paige about the conservatory visit and her pairing. At least the conversation did not go to the fight at school the week prior. She had exchanged some glances at Nathan about James, but seems everyone else read it differently because as soon as they get ready to leave, Nathan has offered to accompany them, she notices knowing looks from all the guests, like assuming they are an item. Paige is confused about that, is not uncomfortable, but had Nathan noticed too? Is he ok? Should she bring that up? Wouldn’t that get them awkward?  
While they get to her place, she is feeling a bit nervous.

“They have those meals every sunday?” Paige asks him.  
“Not always like that. Other times everyone just brings a dish of something. Other times we gather at the fishing point. Is a nice excuse to catch up after the week” Nathan explains getting at her door. As she goes to open the door they notice that James has fallen asleep. Nathan holds him carefully not to wake him up as they get in the house and he rests him on the portable crib. Is a natural routine for them all.  
“Movie?” Paige offers pointing at the first page of his list. She had printed it and has it on the coffee table. Nathan nods. As she is struggling to remove her tight jacket he offers to help. She smiles at him, and it seems to her he blushed.

They finally catch up about their morning, she tells about her friends at the park. Paige notices he is more attentive. He glances at her differently, fondly, and he smiles more. She finds that comforting but also she wonders. Is he? Maybe? He is paying attention to the little things that are Paige’s, her gestures, her changes in speech, her little smiles. He is growing fond of that.

They ended up watching “Who framed Roger Rabbit”.   
She leans her head on his shoulder and his arm drapes over her shoulders, his hand rests gently on her side. It feels natural to both.

“So how do you plan to bring that talk to the class? A one sided speech? I saw Bobby today, and Hannah just grounded him, no further reasoning. I doubt that’ll work” Nathan asks her.  
“I rather dialogue with them. I don’t know well how to bring that up, I’m just the literature teacher. I don’t want to bore them with data or be too formal either. But I’d like to clear out some concepts and terminology. Maybe some analogy? Or bring up some well known toxic story, like Romeo and Juliet?” Paige offers.  
“Or Paris and Helena. Or in opposition, the victorian ettiquette seen in Dracula” Nathan offers.  
“Good points. You really like vampyres, uh” Paige teases him.  
“I do read. I don’t know why people ignore that part. The three suitors made their offer and let her choose, were loyal to their word, and respected her choice. We don’t even know if Lily likes any of the guys or is just some one side crush on her from the guys to begin with” Nathan explains in a way that got her curious.  
“You could had asked Bobby about that” Paige offers him. He looks at her puzzled.  
“I don’t think that would had been a good idea. Better you talk to the class” Nathan reasons.  
“Everyone is an example to everyone else, you know that, right? The reason why the speech is needed in class is because outside at times, well, you know.” Paige comments.  
“I didn’t pick a fight over that. Pretty much the opposite. To stop unwanted advances on a friend. Like I did with Wade and Daniela. Wade was Duke’s older brother. I had to throw a stone at him once. I don’t know what Hannah would had told him about me.” Nathan tells her.  
“What would Hannah had told him about you?” Paige asks confused.  
“Hannah and I dated in senior year. We knew each other since kids, we were good friends, she liked me, everybody knew that, we both were orphans, we bonded over the years. I thought it’d work out, but it did not. When I went to College she had to stay so she choose to broke up” Nathan tells her. Oh, so they have a past.  
“Are there burning ashes where there was fire?” Paige ventures to ask. Nathan looks confused. Why she’d be interested in that?  
“Not on my part, it’s been over 10 years. I don’t think in hers either.” Nathan replies after a while.  
His phone buzzes.  
“I should get going. Morning shift this week. Take care” Nathan says standing up. Paige follows him to the door as Cookie runs ahead.

Nathan is surprised by her question. It was just friendly curiosity or something else?  
Paige reads another bit of the diaries. Curiosity has finally won.  
As Nathan gets ready for bed two tiny gloves fall to the floor. He rest them next to the gifted beanie. Cookie resting next to them.

 

Monday, 20 february 2012

The week starts with some exams which means some busy time correcting them, but at least are spaced in time, so she’ll keep her appointments with her new friends along the week.  
She has to finish up the conservatory visit and the sudden silent treatment that Paul has been given her had not helped.   
At Lily, Bobby and Dylan class, as planned she finally gives them a speech about toxic behaviour.

“Everyone here has heard about Romeo and Juliet, and Paris and Helena, right? Which one you think is better and why? Which one you’d rather live for real?”  
“Romeo and Juliet! Is so romantic” some students answer.  
“Are you sure you’d like a short lived drama with that ending?” Paige asks to a suddenly quiet class.  
“Have any of you read Dracula? Who can explain me how Van Helsing got in the story?” Paige asks them. All students look confused.  
“Come on! Van Helsing? Dracula is better. What he said to Mina. ‘I’ve crossed oceans of time to find you’” complains one of the students.  
“Dracula is using the women, he has a one-sided interest with them and charms his way for his benefit is not like he actually loves them. Don’t it creep you out how he looks at them? He stalks them, uses drugs. What romance is that? Have any of you heard of victorian ettiquette?” Paige asks them  
“Is just a different preference in loving.” One of the students protests.  
“How Van Helsing get in the story is from one of the former suitors of Lucy, when she got sick he found the doctor because he had promised her he’d take care of her when he self candidated to date her and although she declined him he was a person of word. Quite a difference, isn’t it?” Paige asks the class.  
“As I said, just different way of loving someone” replies the sudent.  
“Would you really feel comfortable if someone you barely know stalks you because they like you, although you feel nothing for them?” Paige asks the class. The studends stay silent.  
“The point is, if you would not like that from a stranger, don’t behave like that with your crush. Why would you make your crush feel unsafe and say that is romantic?” Paige ask them again.  
“But how are we suppoused to approach a crush and let them know we like them?” One of the students asks Paige.  
“Firstly Dracula is infatuation. When that happens the person infatuating on the other has an idealised idea of the whole thing: the relationship, the partner. They quickly fall for, pre-test for dating and quickly make a move and set drive on want, often is sparked by aesthetic, someone they find cute, and is short-lived. At times those consider that a relationship will fix all their problems no matter what, or date for the sake of not be bored or lonely. Opposed to that, when one likes a person, one cares about them, puts the wellbeing first, knows them friendly, their interests, their goals, their dreams, are supportive of them. There’s mutual approach, emotional openness, mutual trust, honesty and comfort, enjoying each other company. Looks, gestures, affection that means something, not just for charming. I get that you see any show, any song, most focus on romantic relationship, but see there’s a difference between growing into and falling for. Of course one can just say, is just a different way of loving someone. Ancient greeks told about 8 types of love, not just romantic. To solve your curiosity, I printed you all that. And remember if one never feels that for someone or not want to feel that, or even if one feels that but one still rather not to act on that, is fine.” Paige finishes. It went well, right?

During a break she finds a note in her box at the teachers note. Is from a student “thanks for the talk, will you explain more about that another day?” She had not planned for it.  
Paul approaches her suddenly wanting to wrap the conservatory visit.  
“We need to have all the group confirmed already. No changes. Can you help me with the pairings later?”   
“Ok, after theatre we wrap it up”  
Paige texts Nathan she’ll be back after theatre later. Thankfully he has the keys so he can stay with James at her place until she returns.

Theatre class goes with no incident. The students leave the school. The teachers are alone finishing up about the conservatory visit. Paul confirms the final list of attendants for the visit to the venue. As they are finishing up the pairings for the bus trip he gives her glances which make her uncomfortable. She moves to the next table and quickly finishes the list passing it to him. Lizzie will go with the classmate she asked. As is getting late he sits next to her and suggests dinner alone outside. Alone?  
“I already have my plans” Paige says picking her things.  
“I am much better than that cop of yours.” Paul insists forwardly.  
“Excuse me?. I rather spend the night reading a tale to my son than in your company. I am not anyone’s trophy or property.” Paige replies determined.  
“I don’t think you really know him as you think.” Paul points out.  
“I told you before, I am not interested.” Paige sentences standing up, he tries to walk behind her, the school cleaners stare at them, so she turns on the corridor. “I’m reporting that to the principal first thing tomorrow” she says leaving to her car. He still tried to follow her, one of the cleaners holds him in the corridors while another goes to check on Paige in the car park.   
“Hey, we’ll sign the report. He’s been like that with all of us too, trying to get a date over any excuse. You want we call someone or to talk or something?” The cleaner offers her.  
“Thank you. I rather go.” Paige replies, so the cleaner walk back inside and keep Paul there until they see her car leaving the place.  
She feels distressed and angry. She is going to report him, but the less she needs is anger to tense her shoulder nerves. Perfect, just perfect. She considers texting Nathan to pick her up, distract somehow.

As she enters home she directly looks for her warm pad for her shoulder. James wakes up.  
“Are you ok?” Nathan asks her concerned, noticing her uncomfortable about her shoulder.  
“Paul” she simply says. Nathan passes her the warm pad, holds James and approaches her.  
“I thought he was behaving” Nathan comments standing in front of her.  
“He used the visit as an excuse to test my interest again.” Paige tells him. Nathan looks at her more concerned. “I’ll report to the principal tomorrow morning. One of the parents dropped off. I’ll have to go to the visit all day” Paige continues.  
“I’ll stay with James, no problem. I’ll take friday off” Nathan tells her.  
“I can’t ask you that. You are already doing too much” Paige tells him patting his shoulder.  
“Is not a problem. Dinner and movie? We can talk about that or anything else if you want.” Nathan offers her.

Finally the three sit on the couch. “The princess bride” on. He noticed for some reason seems to be a comfort movie for her. Her head resting on his shoulder.  
“He was trying to get a date alone out of the night. I told him before I was not interested. The cleaners told me he’s done the same to them.” Paige tells him as a sleepy James curls beside her.  
“I’m sorry that happened. You rather report him at the station?” Nathan offers as she leans more comfortably towards his chest.  
“I want the principal to make an internal resolution”. Warm pad resting on the coffee table.  
“It got to your shoulder?” Nathan asks her leaning closer to her temple.  
“It feels funny, which is not funny. I hope I’ll can sleep. Thank you” Paige answers.  
“Maybe some KT helps. Do you have?” Nathan offers her.  
“KT? You know what those are?” Paige asks him curiously.  
“When I couldn’t feel, I had a history of shoulder and back injuries too.” Nathan explains. Paige nods curiously. She has considered asking him about that before, but maybe is a delicate issue.  
“I think I have some unexpired ones upstairs. But I don’t think it’ll be necesary. But thanks” Paige tells him and slightly pats his chest. James gets fussy while asleep in between them.  
“I better get him ready to sleep. Thank you, really” Paige tells him holding up a waking James that is rubbing his eyes.  
Nathan gives his goodbyes and leaves. He will check further on that Paul first thing tomorrow.

Tuesday, 21 february 2012

Paige starts the day by giving the principal the report about Paul.  
“Why didn’t you told me earlier? Why is the report signed by the school cleaners too?” The principal asks her.  
“He seemed to had backed down, but yesterday he tried to take advantage again. So what is the school going to do about that? Or do we have to report to other institutions?” Paige asks him.  
“Have you noticed if he does the same with other coworkers?” The principal asks.  
“He’s done the same with the school cleaners” Paige points out.  
“I’ll get him off the visits. I’ll talk to him.” The principal says standing up.  
“I want to be present. A pat on his shoulder and saying that is not fine will do nothing. He’s done the same with the cleaners too” Paige tells him.  
“Are you sure? I don’t think that’ll be a good idea” the principal says.  
“I’ll report to higher levels.” Paige says determined.  
“Ok, you’ll be present, next monday. I’ll tell him he is off the visit for now. Not more about the report. Let’s see if he listened you yesterday. I’ll observe him those days. If between now and then he has behaved the same with you or anyone else, I’ll report him to higer levels myself” the principal resolves and finally Paige goed to class.

Giving that the kids are on the finals for the term, there is no theatre class so Paige can enjoy some tea time with Vickie at Gloria’s.  
Aaron and James enjoy to crawl around now. Paige has noticed that James seeks for Cookie. Must be he got the habit while staying at Nathan’s care. The toddlers enjoy a babbling chat, that seems make sense to them. Gloria notices Paige a bit distressed. Her shoulder tense.  
“Has anything distressing happened recently? Bad news from your mom?” Gloria asks concerned.  
“Term finals before the break. More exams. But I am fine.” Paige replies.  
“I have muscle medication if you need. Is Magnus not doing his work well?” Gloria continues. Paige glances at James.  
“I rather not talk about the cause with him around” Paige replies. Vickie and Gloria glance at each other knowingly. Paige notices their resolve.  
“No, no, is not that.” Paige waves her hands nervously.  
“I’ve been young too” Gloria says knowingly.  
“Is not that. I only told Nathan and the principal” Paige says.  
“The principal? What happened?” Gloria asks her.  
“Is Paul. The music teacher, has been trying to get a date with me over any excuse. Yesterday after class he tried again. So I decided to report that to the principal. He’ll observe him this week before doing anything. If it continues I’ll report him outside school. I would rather it’s on the low for now” Paige finally tells them.  
“Oh dear. Why hadn’t you told us before? We could had helped.” Gloria tells her gently palming her back.  
“He was suddenly quiet. I thought he finally got it. But apparently not. I don’t know why he does that. He’s been always flirty and I was clear I was not interested.” Paige explains.  
“I get why you are distressed, I’d be too. Thank you for telling, we’ll be observant too.” Gloria tells her.  
“His name is Paul? Tall? Where did he want to invite you for dinner?” Vickie asks her.  
“He did not say the place, why?” Paige replies.  
“Jimmy, my fiance is a waiter. He has commented me about a problematic customer. But I don’t recall the name. I’ll ask him” Vickie explains.  
“Come here, I have something for you” Gloria tells to Paige going to the next room. Gloria brings a KT. “Don’t be stubborn. It’ll hurt more later and you know that, your shoulder nerves are more tense than you think. Remember that your injury reads pain later and lower than it is.” Gloria sentences. Paige sighs and finally get ready for the KT. Gloria applies two stripes over her shoulder blade, then rubs them so the thermical effect activates.  
“Much better, isn’t it?” Gloria asks. Paige nods and both go back to the living room.

Meanwhile at the station, Nathan has been running a background check on Paul, looking for any similar report in other places the teacher has worked. Mid task paces around a grounded teenager. Rebecca is at a stake out with the patrol car and Bob.  
Dylan is focused on his phone. Hadn’t any snack in the two hours he’s been there. Nathan knows is not like the station has anything interesting in the kitchen but still seems a bit odd for a teenager his age.   
Nathan on his part exchanges some quick texts with the Glendower family.   
“Can I charge my phone here?” Dylan suddenly asks Nathan. Nathan ponders. Rebecca only said “he is grounded he can’t leave the station”. So finally Nathan concedes to charge the device.  
Yet pending on his phone, Dylan stays sat beside the phone on the table. The phone buzzing every few seconds is distracting.  
“Planning a party?” Nathan ventures to ask.  
“I’m grounded, I can’t. More like being updated about a party” Dylan replies.  
“Is she attending?” Nathan asks him. Dylan looks like a deer in the cross road. “Nobody buys you were fighting over a comic.” Nathan explains.  
“She was going to. But her parents not like that it’s that far. At the Glendower” Dylan explains, which surprises Nathan given that those kids are homeschooled.  
“Daniel is in the swim team.” Dylan explains.  
“Does she like any of you?” Nathan asks him.  
“I like her.” Dylan simply say, which to Nathan, that answers nothing.  
“What do you actually know about her? Are you friends?” Nathan asks her.  
“I know that I’m at a police station, but I am not a suspect, so save the interrogation. Mom already gave me a speech aswell as our teacher told us about infatuation, and that is not infatuation, I know that” Dylan says.  
“Fact is you have not replied to my question, which reads as infatuation. If you were at least friends you would know about her from her, not from a friend of a friend” Nathan replies.   
“Ok, how do you know that you actually like someone? Is not like one likes every friend like that either. I mean, you and my mom know each other for a while, you work together, you are friends, I bet you know stuff about her which I don’t know, like her phone or computer password. That not means that you like each other. So what is the key then?” Dylan asks him.  
“Do you think your mom and I?” Nathan asks him confused.  
“I know you don’t. I mean, all you are doing is telling us, that way is wrong. So which way is correct then?” Dylan asks back.  
“The correct way is the way that is not incorrect” Nathan replies.  
“That is not solving anything. All we hear lately is, incorrect. Not a way seems correct” Dylan complains annoyed.  
“If you were his friend, you’d know the correct way” Nathan replies.  
“Again, just as you all say, I should assume that you and my mom are together. You know her passwords. Which means you trust each other. If so, then, how would you ask her out?” Dylan continues, which just confuses Nathan further. “Let’s figure out I am friends with Lily, how do I ask her out?”  
“Befriending someone just to ask them out is ill rooted.” Nathan tells him.  
“So what, I can’t have Lily then?” Dylan says getting angry.  
“People are not products to have Dylan. If she were interested in you that way, she would had been clear by now, don’t you think? If she hasn’t that means she is not interested and your behaviour surely makes her uncomfortable” Nathan replies, noticing Dylan is getting angry.  
“What am I suppoused to do then?” Dylan asks about to cry, tensing his hands.  
“Accept her choice. She not likes you. Move on. There’s a lot of other things to focus your time into. Eventually you’ll meet someone and it’ll work out. Feelings have to be felt but in a healthy way.” Nathan passes him a stress ball and approaches him. As soon as Nathan is beside him, Dylan breaks in tears hugging him.  
Shortly after enter the room Rebecca.  
“What happened?” Rebecca asks concerned.  
“Teenage angst” Nathan resolves passing her a note saying ‘change your passwords’.

Later that night Nathan exchanges some messages, while Paige reads more about the diaries.  
Nightmares returned so Cookie is sleeping in his room lately. 

Wednesday, 22 february 2012

Thankfully the morning is quiet so Nathan can take a short break to see Dr Mann at Julia’s. Nathan has been having nightmares again. Different ones and it has been worrying him enough to comment him.

“Come on in. Is not that I am happy about why you are here but I’m glad you care enough to had told me. Julia is at work. So, what else you want to tell me about? This is not a formal consult.” Dylan greets him walking him to the living room, sitting front to front.  
“I am not sure what triggers them. I tried other coping. I told you. Still nightmares happen. Is not like there is a clear reason why that is happening” Nathan tells him.  
“Had you been reflecting about the past recently? Saw someone from the past?” Dylan asks him.  
“The only person I’ve met before Troubles, is Hannah. I had been trying that she and Penny meet again. Still that is unrelated to the nightmares” Nathan explains.  
“Are the nightmares pre or during Troubles related?” Dylan asks him.  
“Nightmares are during Troubles. Is like my mind gets stuck to the words Mara said at the cabin. Sometimes I fear that’s a backdoor she left to creep back somehow”. Nathan explains.  
“I understand that fear, after all she caused the Troubles. Why hadn’t you told me before about what she told you?” Dylan asks him.  
“I didn’t thought that’d actually bore inside.” Nathan replies, his feet tapping the floor.  
“Had you thought of the bright side?” Dylan offers.  
“Of course I do focus on the bright side, they are back, I can see them every day, we are happy. The thing is nightmares were gone but seems have returned. What else can I do?” Nathan asks him.  
“Is clear Mara has caused an impact. Denying it won’t help. We can figure out what triggers those nightmares and work on it. You can just come over here. Ok?” Dylan offers. Nathan ponders. He has a weak theory about what is the trigger but is so confusing if so that it freezes him every time he considers that is the cause and it is so overwhelming to think it might be like that from now on, and is so unfair on so many levels. Nathan nods.  
“So how is it going with Paige and James? Have you told her more about what happened?” Dylan asks him.   
“She has part of the diaries and is reading then. She hasn’t told me about any other flashback. I don’t know how I’ll tell her, how she’ll take it. I don’t even know how I did” Nathan explains.  
“Are you getting closer lately, don’t you?” Dylan asks him. Nathan looks at him puzzled. “You told me that Mara was emotionally manipulative and did threat you in the cabin as to not let you move on. Although Audrey asked you to move on. Such trauma at times surfaces time later. Maybe when your mind is comfortable with the idea of what if, somehow your mind self sabotages with the trauma. We’ll work on that.” Dylan tells him. Nathan nods at him.  
“Ok. Homework, when you have another nightmare, note down what it was and what you remember dreaming before, what you think had triggered that, how the day was” Dylan advices him.  
“I expect a good stationary lot for my birthday Dylan” Nathan banters.  
“I hope that will be solved before december” Dylan says before Nathan finally goes back to work.

Nathan and Paige not talk much that day since she is busy grading exams and given that week theatre is on a break. They update about Paul. Jimmy has confirmed Nathan that Paul has been a problematic customer at his work. Station decides to set Paul a trap given his M.O..

Thursday, 23 february 2012

Almost weekend. Paige is emotionally tired about everything that is going on. Paul, exams. Paul getting literally on her nerves and paining her shoulder. She considers cancelling but to tell the truth she needs some girl’s time. At least is some distraction.  
Nathan has managed to set an appointment for Hannah and Penny for the next day, and had updated Rebecca, Hannah and Paige about the fight, Dylan’s side at least.

After classes Paige goes clothes shopping with Nora, Amelia, Vickie and Daniela. No kids, which for Paige feels a bit strange at first, although she knows the kids are well cared at Sam, she is used to go everywhere with James and still feels she is missing a lot about him.

“So, any update about the pod yet?” Amelia teases her sister.  
“None yet. It was just a first try. It can not succeed, you know” Nora replies blushing. Paige looks at them curiously. Daniela has a knowing smile. Ok, so Martin’s update each other more than Nora and her sister.  
“Well, whatever the pod will be, Roberto name is taken. I don’t want to be calling for my kid and have an echo voice replying back. Althought that can be useful to stop any mischief” Daniela jokes back.  
“When do you plan to join the club?” Amelia asks Vickie who blushes.  
“You have a good job.” Daniela points out.  
“We are not even married yet” Vickie says.  
“Oh, come on. You spend a lot of time with Aaron. Do you not feel like having your own kid one day?” Amelia asks her.  
“One day, but not yet” Vickie replies blushing again.  
“She’s just super formal. Wedding first, children later. Enjoy the in between. Roberto is a running and speaking machine half the day. I love him, but at times I so miss some quietness” Daniela says eyerolling which makes them all laugh.  
“My Ava is about to be such a machine soon. In a way I can’t wait, but in another way I’ll miss some quietness” Amelia comments.  
Them all glance at Paige, she has not spoken.  
“And what about you? Anything to share with the class?” Daniela teases Paige. “I always wanted to say that”  
“James is yet babbling and just begun crawling.” Paige replies. They glance at her knowingly.  
“About his babysitter? You get along very well” Daniela teases. Paige blushes.  
“No, no. He and I, we don’t. We are just, you know, we are not that” Paige stutters.  
“He is the nicest guy I know. He really cares about you” Nora tells her.  
“You not like him? At all?” Amelia asks her.  
“Do all of you think he and I are an item?” Paige asks confused.  
“You kinda are. You trust him with James.” Amelia is the first to reply.  
“I’m like his oldest sister. Known him since he was a kid. He has you in his highest affection, and that is a lot. You may not had noticed but he has grown fond of you. Wether you two have something or not, is none of my business, but just know that, he is very comfortable with you.” Daniela tells her.  
“Well, he and I are just ...” Paige begins but the other four reply in unison.  
“Partners” say the other four. Paige looks more confused.  
“He always said he has a partner, almost never said boyfriend or girlfriend. With his first partner he was so cute and unaware. They were a lot of their free time together, given they had a lot of interests in common. He likes quality time, like movies, cooking, all that. The thing is he rarely makes the first move, he is so awkward flirting, half the time he not gets it. But he does a lot of comfort and care: fave or comfort movie, music, food, days off.” Daniela explains further.  
“It was Hannah?” Paige asks confused.  
“No, wasn’t Hannah. Let’s go see more jackets” Daniela says moving their cart to an isle on the left. That teasing has gotten Paige confused. Could it be they are something? Why isn’t that clear? How can she solve that without getting back to that awkward phase they had.  
Gossiping aside Paige got a pair new jackets, a cardigan and some blouses. Amelia offered her to fix the clothing for her shoulder so are more comfortable to wear.  
“They were just teasing, you know that, right? Whatever you and him have is fine and none of our business” Vickie tells her before they get on the way back at Sam.

Meanwhile at Sam’s the kids had been playing while the parents look after them.  
Lizzie, Roberto and Ava had been drawing, baking cookies, playing hide and seek, played fetch with Cookie, finally singing around to a movie. James not wanted to be on the stroller, he played with Ava, had some snacks, crawled and finally curled on Nathan’s side. The last half hour he’s been fussy no matter what Nathan tries to calm him down.  
“Maybe he needs a nappies change” Dwight offers.  
“Nappies are fine. I checked. He had a change an hour ago” Nathan replies, rocking James to try that calms him down.  
“He misses Paige?” Jimmy offers.  
“Nathan’s been taking care of James for a while. They quickly bonded” Dwight explains.  
“Fever? Teething?” Sam offers. Nathan feels James forehead for temperature. It hits him. He can feel it now. No, no fever.  
“Dada”. James babbles pointing at the dog teddy in his stroller. All them look at Nathan curiously.  
“The police teddy. Must be at Paige’s” Nathan explains.  
“He calls the teddy you gifted him Dada?” Jimmy asks.  
“When Lizzie was fussy, she’d calm down sleeping on my chest. The sync with the heartbeat or something.” Dwight explains, all the others stare at him. “What? I did read parenting magazines before she was born and I have a good memory. At least I am trying to help”   
Nathan remembers he has been having the gloves on his pockets, maybe that distracts him. Thankfully that seems to work. James lays his head on Nathan’s chest and calms down. 

The women arrive with their shopping in Nora’s car before dinner. James is asleep on Nathan’s hold.   
“Had fun?” Nathan asks her.  
“Yes, got some clothing. Amelia offered to fix the shoulder, so overall great” Paige says swaying her bags. “We get going? Has he been ok?”   
“Great. He just got asleep. He‘s been quite active.” Nathan explains while Paige places the bag in the stroller. They exchange their goodbyes with the group and walk to her place.  
As they arrive she asks him nervously.  
“Tell me you hadn’t taken tomorrow off” Nathan looks at her confused. Then denies. Then she sighs.  
“Am I missing something? You told me not to” Nathan asks her confused.  
“Yes, I did. Nevermid, is fine. Thank you for keeping and eye on James today” Paige says getting home with the bags, Nathan behind holding James. Cookie beside the stroller.  
“Has something happened?” Nathan asks her confused. She is moving around a lot.  
“They were gossiping. And some parts were confusing, and I don’t think I should tell you. Girl’s day, what is said stays between the girls” Paige says moving around for snacks. Mid action she stops. Why is she doing that if she not plans to talk further? Meanwhile Nathan has put James to sleep on the portable crib and approaches the kitchen. Is she moody for some reason?  
“Are you sure you are ok?” Nathan asks confused walking towards her, stopping front to front.  
“I don’t know. I can’t tell you. Thank you” Paige tells him patting his shoulder. He looks at her curiously trying to figure out what happens, she blushes, her eyes bright, a nervous smile.  
“Ok. I get it, you need time on you own. I’m sorry if I did something wrong. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Take care.” Nathan tells, kissing her forehead before leaving.

Paige doesn’t know what to do. Daniela’s teasing has surfaced the confusion she has been trying to ignore, because being the voice of reason, is so obvious yet so unclear. If she were in one of those troped movies one of them would walk back and then everything will explode in the air. But they are not. Yet a little part of her wishes she is not pushing him out due to the teasing, that he would had stayed like any other day and they would comment about their day while watching a movie cuddling.   
As she gets James ready to sleep she places his gloves in the drawer but it feels heavy. She feels for the inside to find two keys and a small note “front and back door, for if are needed” 

Nathan on his part is confused and since Sam has texted him first, he decides to ask about the shopping, what Nora and Daniela have commented them.  
“Daniela was teasing. I guess she was quite bold. Everything fine?” Sam replies.  
“I don’t know.” Nathan replies.   
A few minutes later, after the Martin’s talk about what happened, his phone buzzes an incoming call. Daniela.  
“Why are you calling me?” Nathan asks confused. He rather let things settle themselves and not ask further.  
“I talked to Sam. I might had overstepped in the wrong moment. We were teasing Nora about the pod and it turned to tease her too. I guess I overshared about you. I’m sorry” Daniela explains, which just confuses Nathan further.  
“I don’t understand” Nathan asks confused.  
“We teased that you were an item. And I mentioned about your first partner and how you grow in love with someone. I thought you two were on the same page” Daniela explain not hearing a reply back.

 

Fridy, 24 february 2012

Next morning, Paige didn’t get much sleep. She tried to not overthink what Daniela said, to read it as just random teasing but she can’t. It reads like Nathan likes her, she noticed the little changes, leaning closer, mirroring. Is not like she is not interested. But is he? Is he aware?  
She has to stay focused, at least for today. She’ll solve that some other day.  
Paige gets James to daycare and she gets to school ready for the visit. The kids get in the bus in pairs. Dwight and another two parents, along with the principal get in the bus too. All the group finally goes to the conservatory.

On his part Nathan gets ready for the appointment with Hannah to take her to meet Penny again. He had told her he has something to tell her, would not give a clue about what about.  
“So, what is that big something you have to tell me about?” Hannah tells him entering his office. Rebecca looks up puzzled. What is going on?  
“I’ll explain in the car. I’ll be back later” Nathan tells as he walks outside.  
Both get in the car. Nathan notices her nervous.  
“I think is better to show you. Is just 10 minutes” Nathan says. Hannah looks curiously at him. Then he drives towards the Glendower.  
“Why are we driving here?” Hannah asks him confused as they arrive.  
“I couldn’t tell you because you were in Bangor. We found Penny. I think is better she explains you herself” Nathan tells her as Penny approaches the car.  
“You found my mom? She’s been alive?” Hannah says almost in tears. Nathan nods before getting off the car. Hannah finally moves and gets off the car to meet Penny. As the women hug and talk, Nathan chats up with Cole and Daniel. As the women get home, Hannah approaches Nathan and suddenly hugs him.  
“Thank you” she whispers him “you can go if you have places to be”   
“Are you sure?” He whispers her back.  
“I’ll be fine” Hannah replies.  
So Nathan returns to the station. Unknown to him, the visit bus has passed by next to the Glendower.

The kids behave well, given they are 25 asking endless questions before getting in the conservatory.  
Dwight notices Paige seems stressed anyways.   
“Did it go well yesterday? They go a bit overboard gossiping while shopping, specially Dani. But she means good” Dwight tells her leaning closer from the seat behind her. Paige looks at him puzzled.  
“Has he told you I had to file a report on a teacher for trying to force a date on me? The teacher thinks Nathan and I are an item. Then Dani teasing if we are. Is not funny” Paige tells him.  
“I didn’t knew about the teacher. I’m sorry about that. Nathan has a lot to tell you, and he will, he just needs some time.” Dwight tells her, she stares at him. “Do you like him?” Dwight asks her.  
“I’m not sure how he feels about me. You are a single father too, I can’t risk James like that. Even if I’d feel something. Am I comfortable as things are? Yes. Do I’d want more? I don’t know what he wants, is not just what I’d want. So, please no teasing.” Paige tells him.  
“Ok, no teasing” Dwight replies.  
“I shouldn’t have to ask that to begin with. Whatever we are is nobody’s business. I don’t know why he needs his time, but I respect that, so please do respect that too” Paige replies.  
“Noted. I know what we saw when the bus passed along the Glendower. They are just friends.” Dwight tells her.  
“Can we talk about anything else?” Paige asks him. The less she needs is more inputs.

After lunch break Paige texts Nathan.  
“I’ll be back before theatre and PT” Nathan reads on his phone. He had not texted her, respecting her space which has worried her, maybe she pushed him.  
“Ok. No drive later then?” Nathan asks her. Paige ponders. Types and deletes several times.   
Dwight has sat beside her.  
“If he is not specifically invited he rarely invites himself and if you are off tracks he’s waiting you settle down, meaning giving you space until you invite him over again. I’m sure he offered comfort or company before that” Dwight tells her.  
“Noted Jiminy Cricket”  
“Good company would be appreciated” she replies. Nathan stares at his phone.

The class returns to school at 3.  
As habit Nathan drives to her place, a bit unsure. Before he knocks on the door it opens, and she grabs his arm walking him to the living room and closing the front door. James waving at Nathan mid block playing.  
“I’m sorry I was moody with you yesterday, I guess I have to get used to Dani’s humour, or Paul is affecting me, but it wasn’t fair to take it on you” Paige greets him with. He is surprised and confused.  
“Ok. You want to talk about it later?” Nathan offers. She nods and they get ready for daycare and PT. They glance at each other during the drive at each traffic stop. He picks her up after PT.  
“You rather stay in or dinner outside?” Nathan asks her.  
“And the talk?” Paige asks him.  
“We can still talk one way or other if you want. I figured some time out might be fine, rest from the day, not have to cook” Nathan explains.  
“Is not like I cook much.” Paige says with a smile, and he smiles back.  
“I guess then, James will have to decide. Which do you prefer?” Nathan asks James. The kid waves at the window. “Gold connection says he fancies dinner outside” Nathan says. She nods.

They get at the Grey Gull and order their usual. James has some rice and vegetables, then the toddler soon cheers at Aaron and they sit together to play under Gloria’s watchful eye, while Paige and Nathan actually have their dinner.  
“What you’d like to do afterwards?” Nathan ask her in a closer tone leaning towards her.  
“It should be the other way round Nathan, it’s me who has been unfairly moody with you, I should make it up, not you” Paige replies in a similar tone. He nods unconvinced. As they finish, she pays their order and they walk outside. James held by Nathan, waves to see the sunset.  
“You need a clue?” Nathan offers.  
“I think I know you well enough already, we spend a lot of time.” Paige replies.  
“Give it a try then.” Nathan wonders curiously.  
“A reply right now?” Paige asks amused, in a genuine Paige gesture he is finding familiar.  
“You claim you know me well enough. Give it a shot. Like, what do you think I did after that?” Nathan asks her.  
“Let me think. You have morning shift this week.” He nods “You hadn’t had dinner.” He nods again. “So you’d have some food out.” She half affirms half questions, he gestures her to continue “Cookie was with you, you went for a walk to the beach or the look out and had ice-cream there.” She drops her first attempt at guessing, he looks curiously and smiles, which she reads as a ‘close but not’ “Got home” she attempts again, he weakly nods “actually had dinner” she replies getting nervous, he is finding that amusing “and stimmied out listening to music and reading” she points out “Got anything right?” she asks intrigued.  
“I like that logic thinking. But actually Dani invited me over for dinner. I played videogames when I got home.” Nathan replies glancing at her curiously. She looks at him curiously. She not got that right but he nodded, is he bantering?  
“I not hitted anywhere near the target. I’d be an awful detective” Paige jokes.  
“Probably if she wouldn’t had invited, I would had done something of what you said. So not that out of the target after all” Nathan tells her.  
“Oh, I know, you want I invite you for ice-cream” Paige says amused.  
“That’d be nice, for some other day. But is getting late and is going to get cold. I drive you back home?” Nathan offers her resting his palm on her shoulder. He’s been noticing lately she is not always aware when it gets cold. Who would had thought he’d notice that one day.  
“Ok, but I still owe you.” Paige reminds him. He nods and they get back in the car. They get back to her place. She invites him in, and ask him to put James to sleep upstairs. He does, and on her nightstand he finds his keys and a note saying “thank you”. It makes him smile and he goes downstairs. They sit beside each other on her couch.  
“You want to talk about it? Daniela’s teasing? Paul?” Nathan offers.  
“You have plans for tomorrow?” She asks him. She rather not dig in either topic.  
“Maybe go to Duke’s ship after noon. You want to come over?” Nathan replies.  
“Would you sail that one one day?” Paige asks him curious.  
“Maybe, Dwight is more experienced than me. You want to sail along the shore?” Nathan asks her curious.  
“Thinking ahead to summer. Well, I owe you. Maybe I’d pay tomorrow, maybe next week” Paige replies pondering.  
“Sunday I’ll be busy. Day to recharge.” Nathan tells her.  
“Oh, ok, no problem.” she tells him.  
“Anyways, thank you for the dinner. I’ll give Cookie a good walk along the beach tomorrow before noon, if you want to join” He offers giving her a quick side hug before standing up.  
“Nice, I may join, if the little one wakes early” Paige replies, walking him to the door.

He found her guessing amusing, her own little gestures while trying to figure it out right. That makes him think to bring up a quiz board game, must be curious to see her face journey. He likes to see her happy, more after a week as the current one. He is not sure if he is somehow a reason behind that or he is just a witness of her inner cheerfulness. He is a bit worried she hasn’t mentioned having had more flashback or asked more about before she arrived in town. Maybe she just choose to not know further? She did prepared the keys, right? Quite elaborated to be just a coincidence. The Station is running an investigation on that teacher.

She is wondering about the ‘day to recharge’ comment. He’s barely mentioned that before. Is it because she sort of pushed him away the other day? Is not like they have to spend every free time together, she knows that’s not healthy and they aren’t doing that, right? She wonders if according to her own class explanation, is clear he has grown feelings for her: he leans closer, he mirrors her, he glances at her gestures, some gestures seems he is ready or aware of, like caring she not gets cold or tenses up, he cares about her emotional comfort, his tone is closer now. Still how come he isn’t more forward? Does she does that too? Hasn’t she shown him she cares too? Should she be more clear she’s interested? How? She noticed they are becoming more physically affectionate, like hugging or cuddling alone, she noticed they tend to sit and walk closer and somehow in sync. Truth be told in those moments usually James is involved. She is marvelled at times that they got so coordinated to care him, in fact is almost like they are coparenting yet he not intrudes in her motherhood. She tries not to overthink about her conversation with Dwight and seeing him at Glendowers. He can do whatever he wants, she knows that, even if they were clearly something. Is the not knowing what they are which is confusing her.

As Paige gets to sleep, James wakes up wanting to be out of his crib. He holds his police teddy, curls beside her as she lulls him. James glances at her nightstand, looking for her phone. Her phone?  
“Dada” James says in a tired weak voice. Oh that. Now her phone is dada too.  
“Is time to sleep. You’ll see him tomorrow, ok?” Paige softly tells him, caressing his hair. He curls.

Saturday, 25 february 2012

The Cross home wake up late. Getting ready Paige notices James’ hair is quite long this week. She combs him as usual but he gets fussy and rubs his hair making it messy, fringe sticking up. She combs him again. He makes a mess again.  
“Is that funny? We are going to be late” Paige asks him again, glancing at his teddy. James holds the teddy tighter. Paige combs his hair again. He finally lays back untouching his hair.  
Seems the day will be sunny given the season. They walk to Edgewater beach. Mid way a cheerful child chant approach them. Running around them get Roberto and Lizzie.  
“Are you going to the beach too?” The kids asks Paige.  
“Going for a walk, yes.” Paige replies them.  
“I’m going to learn to swim next summer, my dad is going to teach me. Is James going too?” Lizzie replies.  
“He’ll be just a year old by august, very young yet for going further from the beach. He’ll build sand castles.” Paige replies.  
“You can build castles with him. He fears the sea.” Lizzie tells Roberto “We can swim” Lizzie tells her.  
“I not fear the sea. I told you. I am just learning to swim” Roberto protests.  
Daniela, Dwight, Ava, Amelia, Nora and Sam get to them. Nora and Amelia cheerfully invite her over for the next day to do the shoulder fitting at Sam’s place.  
“I told you no fighting, Roberto” Daniela reprimands Roberto.

They finally get there. James is eager to see the birds fly over the water, but when the wind blows towards them he is so confused to feel the wind like that he starts crying. Paige tries to calm him down. Cookie cheerfully walk towards the group. James waves he wants to pet Cookie, so she gently let him pet Cookie. That seems to calm James. James notices colourful rocks and empty seashells and sea snails. He wants to grab them seeing that Lizzie and Roberto are collecting empty shells. Paige sits James back in the stroller.  
Nathan joins the group. James eagerly waves for him to hold him. Nathan glances at Paige. Both them are waiting she agrees. Finally she nods. Nathan holds James who waves to the shells in the sand.

“Maybe for the summer” Paige resolves.  
“What are you planning for the summer?” Nathan asks Paige.  
“James wants to grab some shells.” Paige explain him.  
“Young collector. But you are quite little yet. Don’t you rather ...” Nathan tells James, wondering himself what a toddler can do at a beach.  
“Build sand castle” Paige fills him in.  
“And teamwork sand castle building can have a roof made of shells, each tower a different colour” Nathan says cheerfully at James, making the toddler giggle. He is poking some fun at her. Which earns him a curious glance from her.  
“I’m the building contractor. I’ll have to approve the project” Paige amusedly replies. Nathan nods.

The kids play fetch with Cookie. James looks at them moving around.  
Paige asks them curious about the locations along the town’s seaside. Dwight and Daniela explain her about the main spots along the Tashwater bay and Edgewater beach, like Walton lighthouse, Carpenter’s Knot island.  
Lizzie and Roberto went shell hunting further along, near the abandoned wooden pier.

“Lizzie, don’t go that far.” Dwight tells her.  
“But the shells here are perfect” Lizzie protests.  
“And they will be as perfect another day.” Dwight insist her.

She finally walks back to the group and show their shell collection. Bright colours get James attention. James looks eagerly at Nathan.  
“Maybe for the summer” Nathan tells James.

The group decides to leave for the day. Nathan, Paige, James and Cookie walk along the beach in the opposite direction where he’s parked his car. None of them going to the pier makes Paige curious.  
“Did something happened in that pier?” Paige asks him concerned.  
“Someone close was found dead there. Time ago, town remembers” Nathan weakly replies.  
“It was her?” Paige asks delicately.  
“No, it was a he” Nathan replies kissing James temple. She nods. They approach to his car.

“What about that ice-cream I owe you?” Paige offers him.  
“Sounds good” Nathan nods. And they get to the look out and order their usual cups.  
“How did you become a local cop?” Paige asks him curious.  
“Garland. My father was a cop. I went to College for Computers” Nathan tells her.  
“Father pressure to keep the dinasty or some mystery waiting to be solved?” Paige jokes.  
“Sort of. I like helping people. How did you became a teacher?” Nathan asks her.  
“I like reading, figured a way to make it useful was becoming a teacher. The way a kid learn is an interesting process too. I fancied travelling. So win-win” Paige replies. Nathan nods.

James wants to try any of the cups. He rubs his hair in protest.  
“What is going on with that attitude today James?” Paige questions James.  
“Maybe is teething?” Nathan offers.  
“No, he’s been moody when I went to sleep yesterday night too.” Paige replies.  
“Maybe he wants his space?” Nathan replies after pondering.  
“His space? You mean what?” Paige asks him confused.  
“Maybe now that he crawls and is more active he is figuring out his own space. Stuff he wants to do which he can’t do. Meeting space limits.” Nathan replies. She quietly considers what he said. Nathan is nervous about her silence and unconsciously rubs his nape. James looks worried and does the same. Paige notices but says nothing.

“How does the gold connection suggests to solve that?” Paige asks him. Wait, is she asking him about parenting?  
“Maybe having his own space, his room helps” Nathan replies unsure.  
“His own room at 6 months? Isn’t that a bit too soon?” Paige wonders.  
“Well, I honestly don’t know.” Nathan replies and shrugs.  
“I’ll consult his pediatrician about that. But thanks for the input.” Paige replies finishing her ice-cream cup. “You drive us back? You have places to be, I have work to do.” Paige explains to his slightly disappointed glance. He nods and he drives them back. As he parks she pats his hand and kisses his cheek before walking to her entry door. He drives to his place, but before leaving his car he needs a minute to gather his emotions. It feels odd to had walked near that spot with him in his arms. 

Paige actually considers his suggestion. Maybe James is ready to have his own room. But which room could be his? Downstairs are her office and a guest room. Must be near hers, he’ll still need her. She’ll have to empty the storage room, move the stuff to the garage. How come she has so much stuff already? She hopes she’ll can do that on her own before the semester break. She senses Charlotte will want to pay them a visit.

Later that night half asleep Paige’s mind wander around the mystery surrounding the pier. Mid dreaming she flashes to events in a misty cloud around that pier. A dead body of a young guy. Two men. A women in blue with that guy walking near the pier. That women, cops, children. The same woman in the bushes near the pier, and Nathan? What are they saying? Why is she crying? They saw what happened? What happened? A woman in that same pier checking her sole which has a scar along.

James crying in his crib wakes her. She holds him and bring him to bed. James seems to calm himself and herself down laying on her chest.


	9. Daisies and ace cakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Talk about the pier’s flashback/Colorado Kid and Mara.  
> Daisies, kittens, baby walker, baby bedroom (decoupage and sunset wall painting), ace cake baking, first snow, winter coat, Charlotte’s phonecall, character A falls sick and character B looks after them trope (friday part).
> 
> James milestone: trying the baby walker, new word: coco.
> 
> New character: JM Honey. Will be linked to the Young Year 1994-1995 chapters. Relative of Nathan, is explained in this current fic.
> 
> Brief phonetic explanation of spanish ch-, -ll-, -gu- sound.
> 
> Some internalised ableism, amatonormativity, mentioned unhealthy coping mechanism and hungover/alcoholism.  
> Edit: formated the chapter for better reading, added in reading warning.

Sunday, 26 february 2012

 

Paige awakes early to a tiny hand patting her forehead. She knows ‘the past is just the past’ as Dylan adviced her about how to process those flashbacks and doppelganger, or past lives, yet her mind wandered about the flashback along the night, James curled beside her gave her comfort but still, the flash gave her an odd sensation, somehow it felt direct but not as other times she is not clear about which past life it was. Why was he there? She has to talk about them with him, but he said he’d be busy today. That’ll have to wait.

Seems it’ll be another sunny day so she decides to go with James to the beach again.

\- - - 

Nathan has been having conflicting mixed feelings. He misses Audrey, is growing fond of Paige, but unexpectedly he is having nightmares again as when Troubles were active. Why Mara’s words seem to be stuck in his memory? He thinks that going back to the cabin may help. He has opposed memories there, but maybe going back sets everything back in place. Since Cookie is quite energetic this morning he decides to walk to the beach first.

Nathan walks along the empty beach playing fetch with Cookie. He ventures to approach the pier sitting in front of it, a new daisy beside him. Headphones on and reading while Cookie runs around.

\- - - 

“Accepting some company?” Someone asks him. He not seem to listen until a teddy falls over his shoulder.

“Sorry, yes. I was ...” Nathan begins, she sits beside him patting his shoulder. 

James asks to be held by him, so he does. Both look at the pier in silence. She notices he looks tired.

“Couldn’t sleep much?” Paige asks him, her knee friendly hitting his.

“I’ve been having nightmares” he tells her, she nods apologetically.

“You want to talk about them?” She offers him. He declines.

They fall silent for a while.

“I had a flashback about the pier and the he” Paige tells him after a while, her hands nervously pat her knees. 

Nathan leans to her concerned, gently rests his palm over hers, and kisses James temple again. She looks at him, he nods at her.

“I don’t know which past was, or when. Felt both as in person and as a witness somehow. There was a fog, two men, the guy rested there. Then I was in a blue sweater, walking with him, both seemed closer. In blue again, cops, people, him there. In blue and you, well, here, you were trying to comfort me. Then Audrey was here looking at her sole which had a scar along. What happened? When was that? Who was the woman in blue? Was her and the guy related somehow? Was he a local? What does the scar has to do?” Paige explains gesturing and looking curious. 

He looks at her trying to figure out how she feels about that, or what she makes out of it. She deserves more clarity.  
“The woman in blue was Lucy. The guy was given to adoption in Colorado to the Cogan family. He was found in the pier in 1983, Garland worked the case. Lucy cared for the guy, helped with the Troubles, got that scar. Audrey had it too.” He replies fidgeting with his headphone’s wire. 

She glances at him, and ponders on the information.

“In 1983? And Garland worked the case. But I saw current you. How?” Paige asks confused. 

He looks ahead the sea for a moment, then at her with a frown. James points at the birds flying by the sea.

“First havenite patient Sarah attended in 1956 was a Troubled which could send a person to time travel” Nathan replies side looking at her with a concerned frown. 

She is processing the information.

“A Troubled senior sent you time travel?” Paige asks surprised.

“Twice.” Nathan nods, feet tapping the sand. She ponders.

“Why would anyone want to hurt him?” Paige asks holding her palms.

“Mara caused the Troubles. She gave a family a Trouble consisting on if they kill a Troubled, the Trouble is gone” Nathan explains to her as James playfully pats his hand.

“Did you knew him? Was he Troubled?” Paige asks him leaning closer.

“I barely saw him a few times before the pier” Nathan replies looking at the sea.

“And the father? You knew him? Why was he out of the picture?” Paige ask him. 

James giggling pats Nathan’s cheeks.

“Different timeline” Nathan says shortly, his feet tapping the sand, nape rubbing.

“I guess. Wait, you said 83 and 56. That is 27 years. The cycle of the Troubles. Was Sarah his mother?” Paige begins. 

Nathan nods, blushes, frowns and looks down. She connects the dots fast. James waves then shrugs.

“Oh wait, you and Sarah?” Paige asks him surprised. 

He nods yet blushing, unconsciously rubs his nape, then frowns and hesitantly glances at her trying to figure out how she takes the news. She is silently pondering, that worries him, he looks down. James pats Nathan’s temple to get his attention, the toddler seems worried 

“Oh gosh, you saw him at the pier. Must had been heartbreaking” Paige tells him. 

James gently pats Nathan’s forehead. 

\- -  
Reading warning: mention of unwanted advances in the next scene.

\- - 

“Do the nightmares have to do with that?” Paige hesitantly asks him, her hand on his shoulder.

“Nightmares have to do with Mara.” He begins, she looks a bit confused but gently pats his arm to show support, he understand it as an encouraging gesture. 

“She returned in town wanting to inflict more Troubles.” He pauses briefly, glances at her, she nods concerned 

“First thing she did when she saw me was cuff me to a fence, got my gun, hitted me, tried to strangle me, and shot my shoulder.” He says counting the actions with his fingers, James pats his cheek again, briefly making him smile, he glances at her, she nods concerned 

“I took her to Garland’s cabin in the woods.” He pauses again, rubbing his nape nervously. She nods him to continue 

“There Mara tried to invalidate my feelings for Audrey, confronted me about Sarah. Tried to take advantage on me.” Nathan sounds broken, counting again with his fingers, he glances at her, then down at his feet, he goes silent for a moment. 

Paige is not sure how to comfort him. She holds his hand, he briefly presses his hand hold and then unholds resting his hand on his knee, James quickly pats Nathan’s palm playfully 

“That’s the root of my nightmares” Nathan tells her as he feels her lean her head on his shoulder.

He takes a deep breath, feeling a mixture of heavy and lighter.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for telling me. That’s a lot to carry on one’s shoulders alone. Are you feeling better?” Paige offer him, passing him a tissue. 

He nods and notice himself he’s crying, his hands feel shaky. She wipes his tears and tries to comfort him. He is not sure why she comforts him. He hesitantly leans his head on her shoulder and she rests her hand on his forearm. James looks at them and offer him the teddy. Nathan kisses his tiny hands which makes James giggle.

Cookie which had been resting next to James looked concerned at Nathan, then was tapping his knee with their muzzle so he’d caress its fur like after he has a nightmare.

After a while Nathan throws Cookie’s fetch toy.

“Thanks. I think it’d be better to go along with the day” Nathan says tickling James, making him giggle.

“The past is the past. Try not to be stuck on bad memories. And if you need to talk, I’m here too. You are not alone either. Ok?” Paige tells him caressing his cheek. He looks at her and nods. 

“Whatever you’d do to recharge, include some fun” Paige tells him as they finally stand up. 

James gestures to grab the daisy. Nathan picks it and gives it to James.

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow. Go have fun you two” Nathan says before going to walk back home, but after a few steps James gestures for him to come back, so he does and kisses James forehead and briefly holds her hand, smiles at them and walks out.

\- - -

That was a huge pending conversation which none of them had planned to happen today, but both feel lighter and closer now. The whole conversation refocus his mindset for the day. He looks for varnish in his storage room and decides to get the cabin ready for the summer instead of staying stuck there for the day. After he finishes the task he notices a message from a relative in Maine, JM Honey, and accept his offer to visit him for the day.

\- - -

Paige places the daisy in a flowervase, the plant has three small roots, then goes on with her day and meets up with Luke and Sandra. 

Paige and Luke talk about their last crochet projects, how they are varying a same pattern, different hooks they use. Sandra looks at how passionate they are talking about something she considers quite irrelevant personally. She reads at James instead. 

For lunch Luke insist to cook alone. They plan a group meet up at afternoon at the park on saturday again. 

Luke and Sandra joined the UBPN forum and have tried to contact with other people in Maine, they are considering organising some activity for the summer to meet each other, they are looking for ways to fund it. 

Paige and Sandra catch up about their week, Paige’s clothes shopping, the paella lunch.

After lunch as Luke crochets in the living room, Paige and Sandra talk in the backyard. Paige holding a sleeping James.

“I’m thinking, now that he crawls, maybe is time for him to have his own room.” Paige comments her.

“My friend finished breastfeeding, took to daycare and moved her daugther to her own room the same month around that age. The kid was ready.” Sandra tells her.

“James is still breastfeeding. I don’t think it’d be that easy. He is used to his bottle during the day, specially at daycare, but the night” Paige tells her.

“Has he ever slept somewhere which wasn’t your room? Say your living room? Other home?” Sandra asks her.

“He naps outside the bedroom” Paige replies.

“Nap, but not sleep the night. Test if he’d be ok to sleep alone in the living room. If he is, he must be ready to have his own room. And if so, that’s a plan to go shopping.” Sandra says cheerfully. Paige is a bit doubtful. 

“I think the one not ready yet is mom” Sandra points out.

“Ok, maybe is more the mom. He is growing so fast. At times I feel like I am missing half of it. If it weren’t for Nathan I would had missed seeing his first crawling” Paige replies.

“Oh yes, Haven’s kindest cop. Anything new?” Sandra asks her intrigued. Paige blushes.

“He’s there for me. I’m there for him. It works” Paige tells her.

“No more prospects in the future? From what you said and what I saw, looks aside, he’s quite a catch” Sandra tells her with emphasis. Paige stares at her both in shock and blushing.

“You not like him like that?” Sandra asks her.

“I didn’t say that” Paige replies.

“So, you like him like that?” Sandra asks her curiously.

“I don’t know, maybe.” Paige replies.

“Then make a move, show you are interested” Sandra encourages her.

“Is not that easy. I don’t know if he is interested. There’s also James” Paige tells her.

“Oh, I think he is quite interested. And he cares for James. So, what are you waiting?” Sandra asks her. Her alarm sets off. 

“Sorry, I should get going. I have the clothes fitting. Thanks a lot for the lunch. If he passes the test, shopping will be this week, I have the afternoons free this week” Paige replies as they walk back to the living room.

“We should get a weekly girl’s night out too, after the bedroom quest for James” Sandra tells her. They exchange their goodbyes and she goes to Sam’s.

\- - -

Sam, Nora and Amelia welcome her cheerfully. Amelia measures for the clothes fitting while Ava and James have a snack watching a cartoon movie with sing along. Ava dances around while James crawls and babbles.

“Does Ava has her own room already?” Paige asks Amelia afterwards as they have a drink.

“Yes, she got in her baby walker at the same time she got her own room. Are you thinking about that?” Amelia tells her. The baby walker too, Paige notices.

“I’m not sure he is ready yet. He is just getting a bit rebel. He not wants his gloves on. He wants to grab anything around him: flower, pebbles, anything. He mess his hair in protest. Nathan suggested maybe is because since he crawls he is seeking for his own space” Paige replies, they give her a curious look.

“Couldn’t it be he is picking on someone? About the hair thing.” Sam asks her.

“Could be. I noticed that too.” Paige replies.

“So he gives you parenting advice?” Amelia asks her curiously.

“He spends afternoons with James. I also consider Sam’s or Gloria’s advice” Paige replies.

“Talking about hair. Are you sure you not want some pampering?” Amelia offers her eagerly. Paige looks doubtful. 

“Braids along the nape and cute curls. How does that sound? Give it a try” Amelia insists.

“Well, ok.” Paige says nodding, it’s been a while she had curled or got her hair braided.

Shortly after Amelia finishes the hair styling.

“Looks good? Your choice, I can list you for fridays.” Amelia tells her cheerfully. 

Paige nods, those look cute. She may give it a proper try during the semester break week.

 

Amelia and Nora talk in the kitchen. Paige and Sam sit with James and Ava in the living room. 

Both notice Nathan’s lights are yet off.

“He must be visiting his relatives” Sam comments.

“Does he has relatives?” Paige asks confused.

“While in College he joined a state magazine for penpalling, he befriended a retired journalist which lived by the east coast of Maine. Turned out she was his mom’s aunt. He befriended her nephews and nieces. They are the only relatives he actually has” Sam explains her. 

Paige notices the pictures over the fireplace. 

“He’s like a brother to me, better even. That was my first christmas. Our mothers were close friends. We invited them over for the eve. He was eager to meet me. He wanted sibilings but Garland not wanted more kids. The day he regained the sense of touch was the day he met me. Those were Iris and Eden, my dad’s cat and dog. His teenhood was harsh, losing Elizabeth, not getting well with Garland, being picked in school since he was 7 for the touch loss. Iris comforted him.” Sam explains.

Ava rubs her eyes feeling tired, so they all return back home.

Arriving home Paige assambles James baby walker. James looks curiously at it.

\- - -

Meanwhile Nathan has been catching up with JM about their relatives whereabouts, summer plans, JM’s next exhibit, his current project. Some new lighthouse landscapes and State birds canvases. JM’s noticed Nathan seeming interested in the birds one. 

While they talk Cookie is curious about a door. Nathan points at Cookie to sit beside him. Cookie looks undecided.

“Peter II left kittens. I found a group of 5 tiny kittens by the bushes this early january. My sibilings kept three of them, I kept 2. You can get one if you want. You had Iris” JM tells him.

“It was my neigbour’s cat. I’m not sure if Cookie will get along” Nathan replies unsure.

“Let’s find out.” JM replies going to pick the two kittens from the next room. 

Nathan gets a curious Cookie to sit beside him. JM sits beside him with two kittens on his lap.  
Cookie quickly sniff the kittens, resting their muzzle on JM’s knee. One of the fluffy kittens clumsily walks towards Cookie and pats Cookie’s muzzle. Cookie looks surprised at Nathan. The kitten curls and lays beside Cookie’s muzzle and begins purring. Cookie looks happily at Nathan.

“I think they’ll get along fine. As a kitten they need quite a lot of care. Feed every few hours, educate them, vaccines and such” JM tells him.

“I have a different shift every week. I don’t think that’d be good for the kitten” Nathan replies.

“I understand. I’m not giving them away. So you can drive by whenever. I think the road was going on work along the night. Might be safe to get back early” JM tells him. 

Nathan had taken pictures of the near landscapes, JM’s paintings, the kittens. Before he knew, his battery died. He must return home. They share their goodbyes and he gets on the road. 

As JM had told him, the road is on works so he has to deviate his route to one which takes longer, so he arrives in Haven past midnight. 

He gets a quick shower, puts the phone to charge and be it because he is really tired or because the last he thought of before falling asleep was of their brief hand hold and James giggling he has no nightmare.

\- - -

Monday, 27 february 2012

 

Morning alarm sets off. Nathan sleepily turns it off but stays in bed. Cookie quietly walks in his room and tries to wake him up barkless. Nathan protests and rolls to the other side. Cookie drags their bowl to the room making sure it makes noise.

“Cookie, I’m tired” Nathan tells Cookie. 

Cookie goes back outside the room and returns with their fetch toy.

“Too early for fetch” Nathan protests.

Then his phone gets a chain of delayed notifications. Texts, missed calls. That startles Nathan. 

“What time is it?” Nathan asks, as Cookie insists on bringing the fetch toy.

Finally Nathan looks at his watch. 8:30. He’s going to be late.

He quickly showers, gets fresh clothes, serves Cookie’s food, has breakfast while checking his phone. 

Stan has updated him about Paul, they got two locals filling a report at the Station during the weekend. 

Dwight has been trying to reach him too. Unusually no messages from Paige. Are they off tracks? Has she overthought about the pier?

He sends her a picture of the newly varnished cabin, the kittens, JM’s town seaside view.

Incoming call. Why is she calling? He doubts but finally picks up.

 

“You recharge with kittens?” Paige asks him amused.

“My relatives had kittens. Offered me one. How’s been the day?” Nathan asks her.

“Are you getting one of those fluffy nuggets? They are cute. Lunch with Luke went good we have a group meet up next saturday at the park, we are seeing to meet with other OBPIs in Maine for the summer, brainstorming how to fund that, I shall catch up with my crochet project, the fitting went good too, got a fix day offer for hairdresser. Your sunday?” Paige replies.

“I’m not sure yet, kittens need more attention, and my working shifts. Good to hear. Sunday was good too. Listen, Station got two reports about Paul. When is the principal going to talk with him?” Nathan replies.

“I’m sure Cookie loves the fluffy nuggets. During first recess at 11. Why?” Paige replies.

“Yes, Cookie loved the fluffy nuggets. To check when we inform him. Are you sure you not want to report to the Station?” Nathan asks her.

“If nobody else would had reported, I would. I rather help some other way.” Paige tells him.

“I get that. You know if you need to talk, I’m here, right?” Nathan tells her.

“I know. Thank you. Hold on I’m showing the pictures to James” Paige replies. 

A high-pitched happy sound from James followed by an enthusiastic ‘dada’ is heard from the other side. 

“That was for the fluffy nuggets. Have a good morning. Talk later” Paige tells him and ends the call.

\- - -

Nathan and Rebecca find each other at the corridor walking to the morning meet up.

“You getting late?” Rebecca asks him with surprised emphasis.

“You too. Dylan was sick?” Nathan asks her.

“I had my sister’s wedding. Maid of honour.” Rebecca replies pointing at her curls he not seemed to notice.

Both walk in the meeting room, mid Stan’s talk. Rebecca and Nathan sit at the back. The Station has decided to bring Paul for interrogation as early as possible.

“School had an internal report process going. The principal is going to inform him during the first recess at 11. The cleaners had signed the internal report too” Nathan updates them.

“Ok, I’ll be there too. The sooner we bring him in, the better. Dismissed” Stan replies. 

The group leaves the room while Stan walks to Nathan and Rebbeca.

“Cute wedding? You said you might be late.” Stan tells her, she blushes and leaves. 

“You arriving late unannounced. Should I worry?” Stan asks curious.

“Works on the road from the east coast.” Nathan tells him. Stan nods.

“Thanks for the update. Is she ok?.” Stan asks him.

“She rather not talk about” Nathan replies.

“She’ll talk when she’s ready. I’m keeping you off the case, Ok?” Stan tells him, Nathan nods.

Nathan gets assigned a case with Bob. Rebecca and Stan get in the police car.

\- - -

Meanwhile Paige got a lot of curious questions from the students about her talk about infatuation. 

Lizzie’s class left her thank you notes for the welcome pack the conservatory greeted them with, stationary in shape of musical symbols. 

The collaborative reading list keeps growing each week, which means more children’s and teen’s books for her to read. 

Carla, Ethan’s maths teacher asked her to teach her ASL so she can explain to the student better. 

She got some gentle compliments about her curls and braids.

Morning is going quite good.

\- - -

During first recess before she walks in to the principal’s room, she sees two officers walking in. 

Soon after walks in Paul.

Some kids are gathering in the corridor curiously. The teachers tell the children they are just planning about the yearly safety week.

Once the children get back to classes, the police leave to the Station with Paul.

\- - -

After classes Paige gets home, leaves the box of notes and the free reading updated list in her office room, has a light lunch and for once enjoys some rest while James naps, both in the living room.   
She is a bit concerned Nathan hasn’t texted her. Maybe their conversation is sinking in? Is quite a lot to process.

 

Her medical appointments are by the usual hour he’d come over. 

Out of habit he knocks at her door. She not answers. He checks around. Her car is parked. She must be asleep upstairs. He texts her and opens the door. 

He finds both asleep on her couch, a baby walker in the middle of the room. Her alarm sets off. She turns it off. 

James lazily awakes, rubbing his eyes then finds out Nathan is there. The baby waves happily. Paige looks to the side.

 

“Nathan? Why are you here?” Paige asks confused. Nathan shows the key set.

“Daycare? Your tuition and theatre classes?” Nathan asks her.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you. On final week, school is activity free in the afternoon. James has his pediatrician monthly check-up, I have a session with Dr Mann today. You want to tag along?” Paige tells him apologitically. He ponders then nods.

“Is he walking?” Nathan asks her curiously.

“I’m considering maybe he is ready too. He is curious about swings, crawling everywhere” Paige tells him.

Paige gets ready while he gets James ready. New outfit on, hair combed. Gloves on. 

Nathan notices Paige’s change, he blushes. She notices, he is holding James and gestures with his free hand to walk ahead. 

As she walks out she glances at the entry mirror, he is looking at her braid curled hair.

\- - -

“Any news on Paul?” Paige asks Nathan at the first traffic stop.

“I’m not working in that case, mostly paperwork right now, I may get assigned a case linked to Portland soon. Paul is being interrogated, yet uncooperative. But there are witnesses and evidences for the charges. The principal?” Nathan tells her. 

“The principal asked for a new music teacher to be assigned for the semester, meanwhile we are covering for his class schedule. We told the students he had personal issues to attend. I hope that won’t affect their learning” Paige replies.

“You did the right thing.” Nathan tells her, his hand over hers. 

Green light, he drives again, until two crosses ahead another traffic light stop them.

“I got a lot of anonymous questions from the students about my talk about infatuation the other day” She says.

“That’s good, right? You want I help with that?” Nathan offers. 

“Oh, I don’t know. You are driving me around. I still owe you from last week.” Paige comments. 

He notices that is a bit unbalanced. He thought their talk had setted things on track.

“The kitten’s are from JM. His aunt was my mom’s aunt. I met her via penpalling in College, she was a retired journalist living by the east coast. JM is her oldest nephew, is a painter. I don’t know much about Garland’s line” Nathan suddenly says. She nods curiously.

\- - -

They arrive at the hospital. They walk to the pediatrician waiting room. James waves at Nathan to hold him. James is uneasy. Nathan and Paige try to keep him enterntained.

“James Cross?” Asks the nurse. Paige waves at Nathan to walk in. They sit next to each other, in front of the desk.

“Hi James. Ready for your monthly check up?” Sharon asks him cheerfully. James giggles. 

Sharon holds James and waves at Paige to stay sat while she runs the usual check up. Updating with Paige about weight, size, diet, sleep schedule, teething, any sign of alergy. James happily waving at Nathan.

“I was considering. Maybe is too young yet. Can he have his own room already?” Paige asks.

“I see no problem why. Babies adapt to that by 4 months old. He has adapted to routines fast. Daycare, your work schedule. Still breastfeeding?” Sharon asks her.

“Yes, all that is fine. Is just, since he’s started crawling recently.” Paige says gesturing undecided.

“Oh, we got you crawling already, so you are ready for a baby walker”. Sharon cheerfully says at James making him giggle. So, yes on the baby walker then, Paige mentally notes.

“Yes, but recently he gets moody, he protests a lot about clothing, moving, playing, mess his hair.” Paige continues, counting out with her fingers. 

Nathan senses her nervous. They unconsciously lean closer.

“Well, he is more active, curious, likes to explore around, test some limits. Is normal. Just be consistent. Don’t allow him one thing one day and another day randomly say no.” Sharon tells her.

“He says maybe because of crawling he is seeking his own space, so maybe his own room” Paige continues unsure. 

Nathan gently rests his hand on her arm for comfort. That seems to calm her nervousness a bit, she gives him a small smile.

“Not a bad idea. Test to let him sleep a night alone. Either alone in your bedroom or in another place even, either alone or with you. If he is ok, he’s ready for his own room.” Sharon replies. 

Paige and Nathan share a look. Sharon passes a waving James back to Nathan.

“Are you a friend of the family?” Sharon asks Nathan. 

Paige and Nathan share a confused look.

“He is his, he picks him from daycare and babysit him when I’m at work, he is my, yeah we are sort of cop..., we are close friends, yeah.” Paige rambles pointing between her and Nathan.

“For if he’ll bring James” Sharon replies passing her an authorization form. 

Paige looks at the form confused. 

“Say something happens at daycare, you are at work and he has to bring James here”. Sharon gives Paige the next month appointment and milestones spreadsheet which includes a baby walker as recommended. 

Paige nods, Nathan nods, Sharon nods, James nods and waves cheerfully thinking is a game. They give their goodbies and get out the room.

“I have a session with Dr Mann. If you rather go back home, I’ll stay with James.” Paige tells him as they walk toward the psychology consult. 

“I don’t mind staying with James” Nathan replies.

“If is boring, there’s a park near by. Session will take around an hour. I’ll see you there. Ok?” Paige says, Nathan nods and she signs him “Thank you” then pats his forearm, kisses James’s forehead and goes to the waiting room.

 

Nathan goes with James to the park. He spent enough time in hospitals among tests, needles and injuries when he was a kid. James is cheerful to see other kids playing around. The baby is curious about the brids walking around, flying, the swings, other children playing and he wants to grab the flowers around the bench.

\- - -

Meanwhile Paige is in session with Dylan. She tells him about the flashback.

“So in the flashback you saw about two different past lives. A young men which died there, one of the women was affected, and a current friend with her.” Dylan retells. She nods.

“Do you think is more past life or maybe more wishful thinking? I mean, if is a past life, how your current friend would be there?” Dylan asks her.

“I don’t think is wishful thinking, or some symbolism. If so, what would the young man represent?” Paige replies.

“Have you told your friend about the flashback?” Dylan asks her.

“Yes. My friend told me when it was, who they were.” Paige replies.

“Can you tell me about that?” Dylan asks her.

“Sum up. The woman was two past lives mine. It was in the 80s. The young man was the son of my three past lives, born in the 50s. That’s why the second past life was affected” Paige replies.

“What does that make you feel like? Do you feel related to them?” Dylan asks her.

“I feel their emotions vividly. Before and after the flashback. But you said it yourself, past is past. I mean, I have my own current life to focus on and enjoy” Paige replies.

“And about the young man? You said it was the son of three lives past you.” Dylan asks her.

“I woke with an odd feeling of loss.” Paige replies.

“And about the friend? What does the friend has to do?” Dylan asks her.

“The father of the young man” Paige replies. Dylan looks surprised.

“What do you feel about that?” Dylan asks her.

“I don’t know. Is quite a lot of information I not expected” Paige replies.

“Would that intrude with your current friendship?” Dylan asks her.

“I hope not. I value his friendship. I value he’s told me. For me is a past life flashback, but he actually saw him pass away in the pier.” Paige replies.

“You not think that may change your friendship? Say you’ll be more aware about how he interacts with you?” Dylan asks her.

“I, we are just close friends. That is the past. I understand he grieves the loss. But life goes on. Why would I be more aware about how he interacts with me?” Paige asks him back.

“That happened with three past lives, not with your current one.” Dylan asks her.

“Well, I am focused on the present. We get along well.” Paige replies.

“You not think his past with them would condition your present?” Dylan asks her.

“No. He’s been honest about it. So, no conditioning, we are close friends, it works” Paige replies.

\- -   
Reading warning: mention of unrespectful behaviour in a work space in the scene.  
\- -

“Ok. Anything else you want to comment me about? About your week? Your job?” Dylan asks her.

“Well, about job. Last week a coworker, I ... I filled an internal report to the principal for his behaviour towards me. I told my friends a bit about it. Turns out my coworker got charged. I feel fine he is being investigated, but feels odd. I mean, I would not like other people to be made to feel that uncomfortable. At least he has been stopped.” Paige replies.

“Would you like to tell me more about that? About how he behaved? How you felt?” Dylan gently asks her.

“He had been forwardly flirty towards me from day one. I stated clear I was not interested. He seemed to respect that. Then the other day he awaited we were alone and offered a date again. I refused, he made a mean comment about my friend. I left making clear my no by the corridor. The cleaners heard and got involved. I drove back home. I was feeling distressed, frustrated. It got to my shoulder. My friend tried to be supportive, offered me to talk it out. But I not wanted to throw that on their shoulder. I made an internal report to the principal instead, told other friends too, is not like I had shutdown” Paige replies.

“I’m sorry that happened. But you managed it quite well. Had you told your close friends more about it? They may be concerned about it still.” Dylan offers her.

“I’ll tell them at some point” Paige replies.

“Anything else worrying your mind lately?” Dylan asks her.

“Not other worries. Just the usual. School tasks. My toddler is growing up, crawling, possibly getting his own room this week. My friend is supportive. My mom is coming over during the semester break. She teases me about being single, but well, I guess many parents do” Paige replies.

“Parents can be a bit stressing at times. Well, I think that was an interesting session. You feel better about the flashback?” Dylan asks her. She nods.

They share their goodbyes and she leaves the hospital and goes to the park.

\- - -

She finds James cheerfully popping soap bubles with a toddler. James sat on Nathan’s lap. 

Nathan has a bouquet of daisies. Many women have gathered around him. 

Nathan hears her approaching and looks towards her. He not seems to enjoy the attention. 

She gently rests her hands on his shoulders.

“Everything fine?” He asks her. The women look curious at them.

“Perfect. How’s been playground time?” Paige asks him. Glancing at the bouquet. 

James gestures for another daisy to pick.

“Flowery and bubbly.” Nathan replies popping a bubble and shaking the bouquet, smiling at her and patting her hand. 

The women start to leave.

“Shall we get going then?” Paige asks him. Nathan nods, holding James walking back to the car.

James protests but not messes his hair. Paige holds the bouquet.

\- - -

“Where to?” Nathan asks her once in the car, looking curious at the bouquet.

“Home, please. I still have the students questions to reply.” Paige replies. Nathan starts driving.

“You could use those for a debate in class, check what they understood.” Nathan offers.

“Sounds good but what if there’s someone closeted? That exposure may not be helpful. I rather reply individually.” Paige replies. Nathan nods. He not considered that.

“So, are you going to test soon?” Nathan asks her, glancing at James.

“I’m not sure where. I have to prepare the bedroom. Empty stuff, paint, buy and assamble the furniture. May take me the whole week, but I rather do that before my mom visits” Paige replies.

“You could let him sleep in the living room.” Nathan offers. 

Paige nods. And texts Sandra about possibly going shopping that week. Sandra calls her.

“Just tell me the day. Have you thought of a theme?” Sandra cheerfully asks her on the phone.

“I have to see if he’s ready yet.” Paige replies.

“I get that, but have you thought of a theme?” Sandra asks her. Paige shrugs.

“I doubt he’ll find that relevant. Just something neutral, he’ll decor as he grows up” Paige replies.

“Are you serious? I have to give you a big talk about that. I see we should have a girl’s night out before the bedroom quest. Luke is going to crochet something for the occassion. Isn’t he cute?” Sandra replies. 

“We’ll talk about that. I have to go” Paige replies and ends the call. 

Nathan glances curiously at her.

“A girl’s night out?” Nathan asks her amused at her blushing.

“She said to have a weekly girl’s night out to catch up, but I’m not sure” Paige replies.

“Not sure, because? That sounds good, go have fun. Just tell me when so I can look after James” Nathan offers.

“Are you ok with that?” Paige asks him surprised.

“Why wouldn’t I be ok? You work a lot, give yourself some leisure time too. Or is it because spoons?” Nathan tells her, asking concerned about the last part.

“Some days I may run out of them to go out. Anyways, spoons or no, moms are not suppoused to do that. Plus I’d feel bad impossing that on you, you are busy getting suspects” Paige tells him.

“I get the spoon reason. Why are moms not suppoused to? Is not like he’d be unattended. You’d teach him to learn to manage his time among work, home, duties, hobbies, socialising. You are not impossing, I am offering. I have my leisure time too. I get suspects, but you teach around 240 students weekly.” Nathan reasons her. She looks curiously at him.

“I’ll think about it. Are you staying over?” Paige asks him with a little smile, he nods. 

\- - -

They arrive at her place. Paige places the bouquet in another flowervase and notices the other daisy’s root is growing a bit, although petals are turning yellow.

“Might be a good idea to include some toy upgrade with the bedroom.” Nathan tells her as he gives James some of his toys.

“My mom will cover that when she visits, I can assure you that. Any idea about the theme?” Paige asks him going to prepare some dinner.

“He’s been fascinated by birds for a while.” Nathan replies. She nods. 

He approaches to help with the cooking. She blushes, he notices. They have a light salad. James insisting on trying random bites of sweet corn. They tidy up the table. 

Paige gets to her office to work on the questions, while Nathan plays with James in the living room. James wants to crawl around, so Nathan rolls a baseball on the floor. James sits and claps whenever he picks it. Later James points at the window. Sun is setting. 

Nathan holds him up and walks to her office. She looks focused in the task, he notices by her gesture it seems her shoulder is tensed. 

He gently rests his hand on her shoulder, as he stands behind her. She leans to the touch. 

He reads the questions.

“How is it going? A sunset break?” Nathan offers.

“I copied all questions. Replied 13. For starters tomorrow is fine.” Paige tells him, printing a copy and passing to him. 

“Give it a look, in case I missed some input, or is not clear. Who won the match?” Paige asks them amused, tickling at James as they walk to the backyard.

“Obviously him. Local team advantage” Nathan banters.

They sit side by side, James sat on his hammock, they lean closer. She catches him glancing at her braids and curls blushing.

“Those look nice” Nathan compliments her.

“Thank you, Amelia braided the back.” Paige replies blushing, he nods 

“Sorry if I dragged you along today” Paige apologises noticing he looks tired.

“Is fine. Yesterday the road was on works, diverted my route. Got here by midnight.” Nathan tells her.

“You could had rested” Paige offers in a comforting tone.

“What a bad cop, guest would I be?” Nathan banters glancing curiously at her. 

Paige glances at him, they share a smile, and notice James has fallen asleep. 

They go back to the living room. 

She rests her hand on his arm, gesturing him to put James in the portable crib.

“Are you sure?” Nathan asks her in a whisper to not wake James.

“I have to test that, better to not overthink it” Paige replies. He nods and gently rests James in the crib, passes his teddy and tucks him in with the blanket. 

He softly caress James’s hair. Paige observes him. 

“Thank you.” Paige signs him and briefly hugs him. He briefly holds her hand and nods.

“No problem. Try to sleep. He’ll be fine” Nathan tells her with a little smile, glancing at her. 

She kisses his cheek and he leaves quietly.

\- - -

Nathan reminisces every little moment before sleeping. 

The little daily progress James makes, how expressive the child is, some gestures that look like hers. 

He is yet marvelled about the fact that he can witness and get involved with, something he thought he could never do, and he notices how closer he and Paige are getting lately emotionally and physically, glances, touches, leaning, hugs which both are comfortable with. 

He still not understands how come they’ve returned. He is not sure she’ll remember everything. 

And althought he is not sure if she’s interested in him that way, he doesn’t feel fair if she wouldn’t know, even if he’d be interested in her that way. 

He doubts Vincent will ever explain. 

He can’t just move on, is not that easy. Paige is wonderful, yet Audrey was Audrey he still feels for her, true she asked him to move on, to not be emotionally stuck or shutdown, which he hasn’t thanks to their found family helping him process it all. 

And is true he notices little somethings of them all in Paige, yet what draws him to her is what makes her be her, the little genuine Paige. 

Nathan wonders if he’d eventually grow those feelings for her, if he’d still have feelings for Audrey. 

True, she let him be involved in their life, so much the form is not that surprising, they are practically coparenting, he knows that is what she was going to say. 

Yet he doesn’t know how to explain how come James is his, how come that could happen if he and Paige hadn’t met before.

\- - -

Tuesday, 28 february 2012

 

Paige awakes to the early sun rays. It felt a bit empty to not feel James curled beside her.

James slept in the portable crib the whole night but for the in the middle of the night breastfeeding and the usual nappies change. He not cried after he fell asleep again. 

It hits her she not read him last night, nor bathe him. 

She snaps a picture of sleepy James, sends it to Nathan with the text. “Slept the whole night. He’s growing so fast” 

She takes a quick shower, has a light breakfast, bathes James, feeds him, gets him ready for the day, he not seems moody, she tidies up, checks her to do list, prints the answered questions and gets to daycare and then to work.

\- - -

Nathan wakes to her message, making him smile. 

He starts the day early, gets a shower, breakfast, plays fetch with Cookie in the backyard while he thinks what to get for the bedroom set for James. 

After all he’s decoupaged Sam’s baby nursery. 

He had no nightmares again.

Although some of the questions made him wonder about their affection. Are they just close friends? That soon?

Should they talk about the authorization form?

Seems she took the pier revelation well after all, right?

\- - -

Today they have a speed control at the town’s entry. 

Rebecca is texting a lot with someone. Giggling even. What is going on? 

By 11 he notices he hadn’t replied her message.

“Big kid. Bedroom quest soon?” Nathan texts her.

“I have to empty the storage room first, check the space size, sketch the room design.” Paige replies.

“I have spare spoons.” Nathan quickly replies, attaching a saved picture of the ice-cream spoons.

“Day going well?” Paige asks him smiling.

“Speed control. The usual hour?” Nathan replies. She sends a thumbsup.

\- - -

Paige noticed lately that James likes to play with an animal sound dice in daycare, so she got him one.

Taking him from daycare she mentions about the bedroom to Vickie which gives her theme ideas, sketching several wall painting in a small paper. She is a great painter.

After lunch the Cross family goes to the park, meeting with Amelia and Ava. 

James is curious about the swings. 

Amelia offers to go bedroom shopping with Paige. 

Paige is thankful but hesitant to end up going overboard with the whole bedroom theme.

\- - -

Paige noticed James looks curiously at the walker so she sits him in, her hand holding his back. 

He looks a bit confused at first. Things look differently that way. So much better, he is so happy he does little jumps. 

If he’d move ahead he can reach the items in the coffee table, the open cabinets, drawers, sockets. 

Paige let him in the walker on his own, but stays close observing how he gets used to.

His feet not touch the floor yet, but he tries to move ahead impulsed by his tiny feet.

Since the sole not touches the floor the step attempt impulses him backwards. James looks confused. 

Paige takes mental note to get the walker a bit lower so the sole is in contact with the floor, socket safety and new more ready to walk shoes for James.

Enough trying for today. 

To not forget it she lists the items in a note aswell as some flowerpots that she puts in the fridge door.

\- - -

At the usual hour a crawling baby welcomes Nathan and Cookie, offering them the new toy. 

Nathan holds James and walk to her office, Cookie following them behind.

“Speed control went well?” Paige asks him passing him the printed questions for the day. 

He notices she seems to be uncomfortable about her shoulder.

“Fined a bit more than expected. Boring paperwork” Nathan replies, playing with the toy.

“Well, don’t think exam or final work grading is less tedious. Reading the same exact definition and example thirty times” Paige replies. 

“Ready for moving stuff out?” Paige gestures stretching her forearms enthusiastically, he nods. 

They go to the living room and sit James in the crib with his new toy. 

The baby is marveled by the fact that pushing a different side produces a different sound. Paige and Nathan walk upstairs. Cookie waits by the crib.

“I thought the best option is the room next to mine. But it has you see, lots of stuff. Quite a disaster. Stored. Unpacked. It’ll need painting, for another day. Once I order the bedroom.” Paige explains while touching her hair near her ears, which makes him notice, what about the braids?

They empty the store room. Any pack that turns to be more heavy than expected she leaves for him. 

For the moment the stored items end up piled up downstairs in the guest room.

Both are tired and end up laying side by side on her bed.

“Quite like cardio day at the gym. Thankfully that’s a once event” Paige jokes. 

He notices she still seem uncomfortable about her shoulder.

“Are you ok about all the sudden exercise?” Nathan asks her concerned.

“I left the heavy ones for you. Is just a bit sore, is fine, don’t worry” Paige replies patting his arm.

“You seemed uncomfortable about your shoulder yesterday.” Nathan insist.

“Is just the weather gets on me. Evenings are somehow colder now, so it gets to the muscles and nerves. Tenses, contracts, sore. At leasts is not spasming. Meds not do much, KT don’t do much either. I try to keep it warm” Paige replies.

“What about a massage? It may help” Nathan offers.

“I’ll tell Magnus on friday.” Paige replies.

“That is three days away, is sore now” Nathan states the obvious.

“No offense, if it were the other shoulder I’d be ok. But that one, the pressure, the spot, a move is relevant.” Paige replies with emphasis to make her point clear.

“I get that, but I can learn. Give it a try.” Nathan offers. She looks at him curious.

“Ok. But seriously be careful. Follow my strict correction.” Paige says removing her top clothing but for her thin yellow stripped blouse, sitting in front of him, her back to his front. She moves her hair to the other side for better access. 

“Ok, show me what you’d do.” Paige replies, a curious tone to her voice.

Nathan revised Magnus advice and researched about different type of massages and exercises for her injury after his dinner at Dwight with her PT some time ago. He follows the basics from what he remember. 

He is as careful as possible, softly applying small pressure with his fingers along the back of her neck, her shoulder, her shoulder blade to release some of the tension. 

To her surprise he seems to know what he is doing and relaxes along the massage, feeling her muscles relaxing, even her elbow which was feeling a bit stiff. He softly pressure massages along her shoulder blade. 

She makes an appreciative sound, then giggles at a particular spot. He stops.

“Too funny there?” Nathan asks her serious.

“You know that?” Paige asks him curious.

“Some spots may feel funny and not in a good way. It can end up hurting.” Nathan tells her.

“Very good. But it was fine.” Paige replies. 

Nathan goes on with the massage. Now he is massaging with his hands, not just the fingers. The fact that his hands are warm help with feeling less sore. He moves along the area in shapes to help release the tensed muscles. 

That actually feels quite relaxing, why hadn’t she asked him for a massage earlier, she wonders. She makes an appreciative sound again.

“Better?” He asks her stopping all movement. 

He considered to not just massage but to actually do some exercises to release tension, but he is not sure he’ll remember them well or will be well skilled for that. 

Somehow she feels his voice closer, but he has not moved, right? She nods. 

“A lot better” Paige replies, placing her hair as usual, turning and signing “thank you”, then patting his knee.

“I’ll go check on James” Nathan replies, moving out the bed and going downstairs.

James and Cookie have fallen asleep. Nathan tucks the baby in the blanket, and he finds the authorized form in the coffee table. 

She gets in the living room and sees him with the form.

“Are you ok with that? Is not NOK but she made a good point. You are authorised in daycare, seems logic to be authorised also there. Would be frustrating that you have to get him to the doctor from daycare and you aren’t technically allowed in consult. But as you choose.” Paige asks him. 

Cookie wakes up.

“I’m ok with that. Do I fill in myself?” Nathan asks her. She nods. 

He reads the whole form, nodding at but not marking the specifically authorised options. 

While he fills in with some of his medical basics as his bloodtype and injuries, he gets a text. 

He checks it and looks undecided.

“Something wrong?” Paige asks him mid crocheting on her couch. 

Cookie walks towards him.

“Dwight invited me over for dinner” Nathan tells her.

“That’s good news. Go have fun. I may go bedroom quest with Sandra, Vickie and Amelia tomorrow. Thank you for your help. I’ll keep you updated, enjoy your free afternoons.” Paige encourages him.

“Talk tomorrow?” Nathan asks her, passing her the form, she nods and they walk to the door, he briefly holds her hand, then leaves with Cookie.

She leaves the form at her office and keeps reading before having dinner.

\- - -

Nathan gets to Dwight’s with Cookie. Lizzie greets them with the new baking goods she prepared. She is enjoying baking more and more. 

After having dinner, Lizzie asks Nathan to teach her more ASL.

Afterwards Lizzie goes to play fetch with Cookie, Nathan and Dwight have a beer sat by the backyard.

“She had another flashback. About the pier. I told her about the Colorado kid.” Nathan tells Dwight and sips his beer.

“She took it well?” Dwight is surprised and asks hesitantly.

“I not told her his name.” Nathan tells her. Dwight nods. 

“She connected the dots that he was Sarah’s and mine. She comforted me for the loss. I don’t know what would happen when she finds about the name. At times I’m not sure how come they’ve returned” Nathan tells him.

“Well, if that not conditions your relation with her, may be is the same for her, right? You think it’ll make her overthink? Are you worried about her not remembering or not coming back?” Dwight asks him.

“I don’t know. We’ll see. I know is early, but I’m starting to think she won’t be back. I rather Paige knows what happened. I’ll admit I’m growing fond of her, still wouldn’t be fair.” Nathan tells him. 

They fall silent for a moment.

“Lizzie keeps saying she’s the best teacher ever.” Dwight tells him. “She’s looking up at her. Got her same pencils for class. Lately she mostly talks about Ethan or her.” Dwight tells him.

“Sorry I didn’t reply this sunday. I was at JM’s.” Nathan tells Dwight.

“Is ok. Are they fine?” Dwight asks him.

“Got kittens” Nathan tells him.

Suddenly Lizzie sits next to Nathan. 

“Who got kittens? Can I see them?” Lizzie asks eagerly.

“Relatives of mine.” Nathan replies showing her the picture.

“Aww, they are so cute. Are you keeping one? This one is the fluffiest” Lizzie says lively.

“I’m not sure yet, with my work shifts. Kittens need more attention. And seems next weeks will be busy. The bedroom quest, Charlotte coming over” Nathan replies. 

Dwight and Lizzie stare at him.

“Bedroom quest?” Both Hendrickson ask in unison.

“James is getting his own bedroom this week. Charlotte is visiting for the semester break.” Nathan explains. 

“Which theme? I can help” Lizzie says eagerly.

“She needs help with the furniture assambling?” Dwight ask.

“Thank you Lizzie, she hasn’t decided the theme yet, she’ll seek around tomorrow.” Nathan replies to Lizzie 

“Oh, she has a very handy and light screwdriver. She changed all the doorknobs to handlers at her place herself.” Nathan replies to Dwight. 

Lizzie goes to her room and notes all the decoration ideas for James room.

“So, Charlotte is coming over?” Dwight asks him with interest.

“To see her daugther and her grandson, yes. I doubt if Paige not remember, Charlotte will do” Nathan points out with emphasis. Dwight nods knowingly.

“Does she know about you? What are you doing that week?” Dwight asks him. 

Nathan and Paige have not talked about that.

“I’m not sure what she knows. I guess they’ll spend the week together.” Nathan replies. 

“Work is going fine?” Nathan asks Dwight.

“I’m doing a big pipe change in Bangor on thursday. I hope the piece will fit. You know when stuff not adds up, it means spending more time, getting here later.” Dwight replies. 

Lizzie passes Nathan the list and two small jars of homemade cookies, a blue one tagged with his name and an orange one tagged with the teacher name.

His alarm sets off. 

“I should get going. Thank you both. I’ll keep you updated” Nathan tells them and goes back home. 

\- - -

Once at home Nathan snaps the list and places it on his fridge. And snaps a picture of the jar for Paige, sending her both pictures.

“That not looks like your handwriting and although I know you like music, I doubt you have a music symbol shaped notepad from the conservatory” Paige text him.

“Wonderful observation. Is from Lizzie, her theme suggestion. And also a cookie jar” Nathan replies.

Both type and delete a reply several times. James calls for her. 

Nathan gets another several texts. 

So their conversation ends up there for now.

\- - -

Wednesday, 29 february 2012

 

Paige has texted Nathan during recess asking about near places to show Charlotte when she visits. Nathan sends her saved pictures of near cities views: Portland, Bangor, Orono ... 

Paige is more interested about the seaside. So he shows her about JM’s town and locally the Carpenter’s Knot and Walton lighthouse. She seems interested about the Knot, more knowing there’s a hotel there. 

She remind him she’ll go bedroom seeking with Sandra, Vickie and Amelia. 

Also tells him James playing more with the animal toy in daycare this past week, got him closer to say other vowels instead of -a-.

\- - -

After lunch Sandra, Vickie and Amelia arrive at Paige’s. James notices not Ava nor Aaron are there. Although James likes the other parents, paying him attention about his new toy, his crawling, out of habit he looks around for Nathan or Cookie from his hammock.

“Dada? Coco?” James asks her as Paige holds him up.

“Well done, new vowel.” Paige enthusiastically encourages him, giving him her hand to high five, which he happily does 

“But no dada nor Coco today. We are shopping. It’ll be fun” Paige tells him cheerfully. He frowns disappointed. 

“You’ll see them another day”. James sighs dramatically, his front hair waving, then shrugs gesturing with his little hands. 

How come he is that expressive already, he may not speak much yet he makes himself quite clear. 

Paige picks the list from the fridge. Taking mental note to cut his hair at some point while he naps.

\- - -

They get to the furniture shop at the mall.

Each one suggests a different theme: Amelia nautical, Vickie nature, and Sandra cars. Suddenly Paige feels like there’s a bigger choice behind than simply a theme. She considers mixing a bit of each. Maybe the bed nautical, the drawer cars and the desk nature? 

Shop assistant informs that a mixed option is not possible, they sell whole sets. So they get back to her neutral initial idea, so they look for themed printing and stickers. Seems that will be a better option. 

Paige has snapped a picture of each set considered and sends them to Nathan.

“Neutral one seem better option. The furniture can be decored with any theme you pick. Which one does he seem to like?” Nathan texts her back.

“I don’t know. Do I let him crawl around to see which set he finds more comfortable to curl himself and nap in the middle of the shop?” Paige asks him.

“Why not? Is going to be his room, he should be comfortable there, right?” Nathan replies.

“That was sarcasm. Btw he said a new vowel today, Coco, he meant Cookie.” Paige replies.

“Congratulations. Big milestones this week. Maybe consider something practical for when he goes to school, before a height sprout at around 8. I mean, when he’ll go to school, he’ll need a desk to do homework, a bookcase, considering that now will save needing another set in 3 years.” Nathan replies seeing she is not that enthusiastic about the shopping.

Those are actually good points to consider. The comfort comment make her wonder, that’s indeed an aspect to consider after all. 

It should be safe and easy to handle for James and her, so she tests the furniture handlers to decide which set makes it to the finals.

Test run, three sets made it to the final round. 

She sends him a snap of each.

“The pinewood one looks nice. Is it varnished?” Nathan asks her.

“They have it varnished and unvarnished” Paige replies, unsure why that is relevant other than for price. True is also the set with more pieces, considering what he said.

“The unvarnished one can be print decored.” Nathan explains her as if knowing she was confused about the difference. Then it hits her, decoupage.

“You want to decoupage James’ set? Is the finalist set with more pieces. Should be set before the semester break” Paige asks him.

“Challenge accepted” Nathan replies her.

“Any theme prints idea?” Paige asks him.

“I have several ones to pick from in here. Stop by for dinner and you choose the printings?” Nathan replies sending her a picture of his prints. 

He is missing them, and he senses her stressed.

“Ok then.” She replies feeling nervous but also a tiny part thinking ‘smooth move’.

Paige finally orders that set. It will be delivered at her place the next day after lunch. 

She buys some paint, socket safety, small flowerpots and a new pair of shoes with a more solid yet flexible sole. 

Vickie offers her to paint one of the walls with something James may like, like a sunset. Paige invite her and Jimmy for lunch tomorrow to talk that over. 

Her friends gift her a small decor each in the themes each had suggested her: lamp, wall coat rack, clock.

They all go have an ice cream at the mall’s terrace.

Afterwards they finally drive home. They share their goodbies.

\- - -

Paige plants the pier daisy in a small flowerpot, places it in the backyard protected by the ceiling.   
Then she and James rest for a bit in her couch. She liked going out but it was a bit tiring. 

James feels hungry shortly after so she gives him a diced fruit.

Then they get going at Nathan’s.

Nathan spent the afternoon resting a bit, taking Cookie for a walk along the lookout, finally listening to music while they texted. 

Cookie eagerly barks from the living room as soon as they see James. 

Nathan opens the front door greeting them. Cookie is eagerly running around James stroller. James is clapping happily.

“I haven’t got cooking yet. Fish? Meat?” Nathan asks her, passing her a dish of cookies. 

“Lizzie baked them, those are plain, those have choco chips, those are chocolate filled and those berry jam filled” Nathan tells her. She picks one of the berry filled which also has choco sprinkles. 

James crawls to her and sits beside her, making grabbing gestures. Paige gives him a small bite with choco but no berry. 

He likes it and gestures for another bite. That one is berry filled. He likes that one more.

“Sorry, you asked me. Fish or meat. Surprising you not offer pancakes, running short on some ingredient?” Paige ask him curiously. Is that some innuendo, Nathan wonders.

“I am more a samefooder when I eat outside. You prefer pancakes?” Nathan asks surprised.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Paige replies amused. He nods knowingly. 

“The set will be delivered tomorrow after lunch. I’ll get painting afterwards. Vickie offered to paint a sunset mural herself” Paige tells him.

“She is very talented.” Nathan tells her.

“Do you have any of JM’s works to show me?” Paige asks him. 

Nathan goes to his officd room and returns with a a framed sketch and a small canvas.

“JM works on canvas. That’s a seaside view from his town” Nathan says showing her the work. 

“That’s a sketch Vickie did. My mom.” He shows her the other work. 

It gets her attention a neck pendant she had with the letter L. 

“Name was Elizabeth, her family called her Lisa. Her grandmother, her aunts and her, all had an L in their name. Olivia, Matilda. That’s why the pendant” Nathan explains, noticing she seems to like the pendant design. 

“Vickie could do a sunset mural, JM has a canvas of state birds. Two things James like” Nathan tells her. 

Nathan takes the works back to his office room and gets busy preparing pancakes. 

She offers to help, he politely declines and offers her to check the prints instead, those are on the coffee table. He has several types, so she looks with James sat on her lap. 

By the other side is his pile of vynils and the turntable. She recognises the album cover of the current vynil there.

“Van Halen’s 1984. So, you had a hard rock era. I thought you prefered synthpop.” Paige comments holding the cover.

“I like different music genres. Some melodies there are stimmy. I got into them after the Billy and Ted movie. Garland not liked it.” Nathan replies.

“I’ll bet. Some lyrics ...” Paige tells him.

“I know ... some lyrics. That went over my head then. I used to echolalia some lyrics, during exams” Nathan replies.

“They still go over your head? Say someone would song flirt with you, you’d get it? You did to Van Halen?” Paige asks him curious.

“Those not go over my head, I know those.” Nathan replies pointing at the album, Paige smiles to herself noticing the album tracklist 

“Song flirt, probably would go unnoticied. Mario, we dated the last semester of College, he song flirted with me for months, I not noticed, just thought he liked that music, not that sharing it with me had a particular meaning, but if I notice I may overanalyse every detail and don’t know what to do about it, even if I’d be interested in that person. And I echolalia to very different lyrics, mostly is just the vocal stim you know, the melody not the wording.” Nathan explains.

“So, you never song flirted?” Paige asks him. Nathan blushes.

“Have you?” Nathan asks her curious.

“Maybe. But I kinda get what you mean. As a demi is a bit awkward when the person interested not has the vibe. I had a suitor which sent me, in their words, tender music, music which I not liked, sounded quite infatuated way too soon, I wasn’t on the same page yet, I didn’t knew how to tell them without seeming rude. Thankfully as usual, a few weeks later their interest vanished because again things weren’t progressing, as anyone expected. It wasn’t hurtful, I was not that interested in them yet, just giving dating a try. Is a bit weird when they want to date, apparently with a same magic formula, but there’s no bond there, nor they make a chance for such bond to grow, or when the interest or expectation is not the same way, from me at least” Paige replies.

“Yeah, not everyone song flirts with Nirvana outside a moshpit, maybe in the 90s” Nathan banters, she gives him a shocked look pretending to be offended.

“What is wrong with grunge?” Paige asks him.

“Nothing. Some songs have made it to some of my playlists.” Nathan replies curiously.

“Your playlists?” Paige asks him intrigued.

“Since as a teen I smashed my walkman once out of frustration, I learnt better coping mechanisms for some emotions: distress, energy boost, relaxing, frustration” Nathan explains.

“That is quite clever” Paige tells him.

“Well, I wasn’t always that clever, I did some unclever things until better habits sank in” Nathan replies, unconsciously looking at his forearm. She notices but doesn’t ask.

Nathan serves the pancakes, hers as she likes, and smashed vegetables for James. James waves to be picked by Nathan, so he feeds the baby. The baby cheerfully offer them bites too. 

After dinner the three sit on the couch as usual, ready to pick the printing. Considering the sunset mural and the bird canvas, seems other nature printings will fit the theme. They decide on fishes for the drawer, a seaside coastline for the bookcase, a sail for the nightstand. They’ll assamble the bed and desk as James will need those. 

That fact silently hits on them, they are planning so far ahead, she is not sure her contract will be renewed another year still.

“I can print those tomorrow, while you paint and the mural gets done. Sounds good?” Nathan offers. She nods. 

James is waving at the TV.

“Movie?” Nathan offers.

“You got me curious about that Ted movie” Paige replies curiously. 

As he turns the TV on, there’s a kitten food advert. Cookie approaches the screen, gently patting at the kitten there.

“I think Cookie really wants one of the fluffy nuggets” Paige amusedly states the obvious. 

Nathan gets the movie started and sits with them. As usual, James falls asleep mid movie, curled by her side. Both share a knowing look. Paige has leant on his shoulder. She is particularly quiet, but observant of him enjoying the movie, he echolalia some quotes.

“Be excellent to each other” she repeats aswell. Both the quoting and her tone surprise him making him blush, he nods. 

Once the movie is over, they tidy up the table.

“Did you read the whole form about what I’d authorise you too, or just filled in your basics?” Paige asks him.

“I read them, I’m ok with any you choose.” Nathan tells her. She nods. 

“Lizzie’s list” Nathan gives her the list. 

“And Lizzie’s cookies” He gives her the orange jar. 

She reads the list noticing that Lizzie really likes stickers.

“Some are quite cute, I may consider them. Glowing costellation on the ceiling” Paige comments smilling. 

James wakes up and waves to be hold up.

“Thank you for having us over. Thank Lizzie for the cookies and the list. I’ll get working after lunch, the sooner I start, the sooner I finish. Whenever you can, if you can tomorrow, is fine. See you.” Paige tells him holding James which waves to hug Nathan.

Both hug, Nathan caress his cheek and smiles at him, James giggles. Paige sits James in the stroller, the baby insisting on holding the jar and they walk to the door. Their palms gently brush and she kisses his cheek, he briefly holds her hand and she leaves.

\- - -

Thursday, 1 march 2012

 

Early in the morning the local weather forecast announces light snow after lunch. Is not expected it’ll drastically drop temperatures or that it’ll get icy to affect walking or driving, still the Station has work to do just in case the front will be heavier or get there earlier. They’ll signal the main roads for after school or work driving.

\- - -

“Might be your first snow” Paige cheerfully tells James.

Just in case, she gets him the full winter set: coat, beanie, scarf and gloves. James is not enthusiast about that. 

She makes sure the snow socks are in her car. She found those a lot less complicated than the chains.

Just in case temperatures would drop she gets her full winter set too. Better be prepared than sorry.

\- - -

She has been replying 10 questions per day in the box, and getting back another lot those days, not all being annonymous.

Other students have started to leave questions too. It got quite popular so the teachers look at her curiously as she arrives to the teacher’s lounge.

“Wouldn’t you rather give them a talk to them all?” The principal gently offers her.

“I really doubt any talk would fit my schedule this week, I have personal stuff to attend at home at the moment. I could see for after the break or another semester” Paige offers. The principal ponders. 

“See, if I’m renewed a whole year, I can plan it all better during summer for next year. A talk, a course even. An ASL course for teacher, another for students. More activities, courses, associations or clubs even. I listen to the students. I have good plans for the school project. But I’ll need more than a semester, or a week notice for a talk to all students. I gave that one to prevent more fights.” Paige replies.

“And so far no more such fights have happened, thank you. Students are getting curious of what you say. Local library not had that many books read in a long while. They like your projects and is working on their education and behaviour” The principal offers her.

“Thank you for the recognition. I’ll see if I can plan a talk for next semester” Paige offers.

“Next semester it is then. Thank you.” The principal tells her and everyone goes to their classes.

\- - -

By midday Nathan is in his officer winter coat, the same he wore when they met, and Stan are placing driving signals in the main routes in town.

“Piece not fits. Looking for one around here. Can you pick Lizzie?” Dwight text him.

“If Stan not assign me on call” Nathan replies.

“Stan, Dwight asked me to pick up Lizzie” Nathan tells him.

“Fine, you weren’t assigned to be on call. You know the rule.” Stan tells him, replying an apparently amusing text himself. 

The Station internal rule says the cops parenting are out of being on call unless is an emergency or they choose to be on call voluntary. Stan includes him in that group. Nathan is unsure to argue that. Stan notices his puzzled look.

“Rebecca’s kid is a teen, yet she is included in that group. You are looking after a baby, James don’t you? So why won’t you be included in that group too? I’m not that strict.” Stan tells him. Nathan nods.

“Dwight can’t pick up Lizzie, issues at work. I’m picking her up. That OK?” Nathan texts Paige.

“Ok. I’ll tell her. Is he fine?” Paige asks him.

“He is perfect. The current work outside town got complicated, he’ll be late, that’s all” Nathan replies.

\- - -

Paige’s last class today is with Lizzie’s group, so before the ring bells, she asks her to wait after the ring. Lizzie walks to her curiously.

“Listen, your dad is fine, but he is busy at work today, he’ll be late so he asked Nathan to pick you up, is that ok?” Paige tells Lizzie. Lizzie ponders then nods.

Both walk to the school entrance talking about the decorating list. There is Nathan waiting. Paige and Nathan sign a quick thank you. Paige goes to her car to pick up James. Lizzie gets in the truck, he notices her worried. Nathan makes friendly light conversation.

“We can bake something and watch a movie. He’ll be here soon.” Nathan tries to cheer her up. 

The kid ponders. That adds a lot of time.

“Is he just late or is he injured?” Lizzie asks him concerned. That shocks Nathan.

“He is changing a pipe in Bangor. Is an old design. There are few replacements and not many new models fit. They are looking for one that would fit. That is what is keeping him busy. But he is fine. He is sorry he can’t be here already.” Nathan decides to be clear. Lizzie nods.

As they get to his place, Cookie greets them in the living room. That seems to cheer her up. Her quietness was worrying Nathan.

“What you’d like for lunch? We bake something afterwards and watch a movie. Sounds good?” Nathan asks her. 

Kids being kids she chooses mac and cheese. 

She talks a lot about Ethan and asks about Paige, things he hasn’t wondered himself about. Her favourite this or that.

Afterwards they bake a cake with chocolate top layer, berry jam bottom layer and white colorant coloured layer in the middle. 

Nathan smiles to himself because that is almost the asexual flag. He notices she knows a lot more about baking than he thought. 

After baking Dwight arrives there. Lizzie cheerfully hugs him.

“Sorry, it did start snowing there, not much but some routes were shut. You missed me much?” Dwight asks her. She nods enthusiastically. 

“But you’ve been baking.” Dwight points the cake.

“You can take it” Nathan offers.

“You both baked, so half and half.” Dwight says cutting the piece. Shortly after the Hendrickson leave.

\- - -

Meanwhile Paige invited over Vickie and Jimmy for lunch. 

The bedroom set arrived after lunch, delivery left the packages in her room. It’ll be easier than herself trying to carry them upstairs. She gives them an unrequested extra tip for that. 

Vickie has sketched a sunset on the wall where the bed will be. 

Jimmy is downstairs playing with a crawling James rolling the baseball on the floor. 

The two got painting upstairs with the radio on. Since there will be a sunset, Paige choose the other walls to be light green. Vickie offered to paint the bay seaside skyline along the bottom of the wall in a darker green. 

Nathan’s ace cake picture text has gone unread and unnoticed. Is not snowing yet.

\- - -

Nathan rings the bell. He got the winter set on: thermical sweater, the winter coat, just in case the temperature actually drops once it snows later. He’s holding a bag. Cookie beside him. 

Jimmy opens the front door, James cheering behind.

“Hi Jimmy. How is it going? They delivered the set?” Nathan tells him walking in, placing the bag on the table and holding up a waving James.

“Is going well. The set is upstairs. They are painting.” Jimmy tells him pointing to the stairs.

Nathan leaves his coat on the chair and walks upstairs holding James. Nathan gets in the room noticing the painting, aswell as Paige clothing: old jeans, an old long woolen shirt, a low ponytail.

“Very nice sunset” Nathan greet them.

“She’s wonderfully talented” Paige cheerfully points at Vickie which blushes by the compliment.

“Oh, well, just a skill I have, I’m so clumsy for many other things. I just like the quiety and focus drawing gets me to zone in.” Vickie replies.

“Do I print the pieces here?” Nathan asks.

“Right. The packages are in my room. There’s space for you to work over there, we are done with that side.” Paige instructs. 

Nathan nods and gets James back downstairs, goes to his truck and brings the printing and other tools and materials for decoupaging the sets.

First he does the drawer’s varnishing and fishes. While the imprint is setting in, he continues with the bookcase’s coastline imprint, finally he does the nightstand’s sailing imprint. 

The wall painting is also finished. 

 

They all go downstairs, Paige put on a warmer hoodie, undid her ponytail, and offer a drink for everyone. 

Nathan shows the content of the bag on the table, in a silver coloured squared box.

“Have a guess what I brought for snacking” Nathan playfully ask. Paige looks curiously at him.

“Doesn’t look like pancakes. Not the time for paela. Don’t tell me is the super sweet dessert cream, mergensomething?” Paige tries to guess. Nathan is looking amused at her guessing.

“Paella, ll sharp as in yarn. Merengue, gu soft as in guess. But is none of that. Guess again?” Nathan replies amused.

“Give some clue? Is it sweet? Cold?” Paige asks him.

“Ok, some clue, is something that Lizzie and I have baked” Nathan replies amused.

“Cookies” the three reply in unison.

“No. Second and last clue, it has chocolate, blueberry jam layers” Nathan explains counting with his fingers and glancing knowingly at Paige as she gets the hint smiling and nodding.

“A layered cake” Paige replies with an emphasis seems only Nathan gets. 

“Thank you to both.” Paige replies as Nathan passes her the dessert dishes. 

“You could had directly said it Nathan” Paige bantering hits his elbow with hers as he is beside her.

“And miss your guessing?” Nathan banters back.

“Yeah, gu soft as in merengue” Paige banters back.

As Paige serves a slice for each, Nathan dices two fruits for James. 

The whole coordination, non-verbal communication, the domesticity and affection between the two, doesn’t go unnoticied by Vickie and Jimmy. 

Finishing the cake, Nathan sets the chimney, then they talk about summer plans, fishing, local sports and about snow on the couch. 

Paige notices that Nathan is quite eager about snow. Mid talk they notice is indeed snowing outside.

“Your first snow” Paige eagerly cheers at James. Nathan passes her in his coat.

“You’ll get cold then” Paige tells him.

“Thermical sweater, and” Nathan tells her wearing the beanie she gifted him, making her smile 

“I’ll be fine. Let’s have fun” he tells her. She nods and he helps drape her shoulders with his coat.

They all go to her backyard and test to catch some snowflakes with their hands. 

James gets one and tries to grab it with his fingers but it melts surprising him. Where did the cold squishy thing go? 

Nathan is marvelled to feel the snow falling on his face, his hands. Small flakes melting into drops on his warm hands.   
James wants to feel more snowflakes, so Nathan walks to him with a little mountain in his hand. James taps at the surface surprised to feel it cold it makes him shiver and blink. 

Paige puts his winter set on, and hers. James waves to be put in his hammock, so she does, setting it behind the threshold so he is warmer. Cookie lays next to the baby after having been running around. 

The three are making snow balls as Paige joins them.

“You wouldn’t dare” Paige playfully warns Nathan. He jiggles the snowball with a mischievous smile, and leisurely throw it at her beanie. 

The four end up in a snow ball fight, giggling and running around, James clapping.

After a while both Vickie’s and Jimmy’s alarm set off, they should get going home, they share their goodbyes and leave.

 

Nathan, Paige, James and Cookie walk back inside.

“You got cold?” Nathan asks her, his hands on her shoulder, she notices his rosy cheeks.

“Is warm” Paige tells him, patting his hand on her shoulder, then pointing at his cheeks. “Your cheeks seem colder”

“Warm chocolate?” Nathan suggests. She nods, looking doubtful at James.

“Go ahead. I’m going to give him a warm bath now.” Paige tells him.

“How do you like it?” Nathan asks her.

“Dense and strong, Lizzie’s cookies are on the left cupboard” Paige instructs. Nathan nods. 

Although the baby not seems hungry, he decides to prepare a chicken soup with diced carrot and sweet corn for James aswell.

Moving around the kitchen he notices her recipes on the fridge’s door, and the fact she keeps around ingredients he likes. 

Shortly after Paige returns with a freshly bathed James, no coat but a cardigan.

“Everything fine here, ace baker?” Paige greets him walking to the kitchen after placing James in his crib. 

He serves the chocolate cup. They sit front to front.

“Have you ever tried churros?” Nathan asks her curious.

“Curros? Those fried filled with cream?” Paige asks him unsure.

“No. Churros, ch sounds sharp as in choose. The ones fried that one dips in dense and strong chocolate” Nathan explains with emphasis in the words she said.

“I don’t think I tried those.” Paige tells him.

“Martins prepare them some sunday mornings, specially for december” Nathan explains.  
They continue their chocolate.

 

Afterwards they tidy up the table and go to the couch, he notices the safety sockets and curiously the new shoes.

“More solid yet flexible sole so it’ll help him to step with the walker.” Paige explains.

“Has he tried the walker?” Nathan asks her.

“Once. He just impulsed himself backwards. I didn’t had time to adjust it lower. I’m trying he gets used to wear a different kind of shoe. But might be good to let him give another try.” Paige tells him. 

Nathan looks at her curious. James looks at them curious from his crib, Nathan glances at the walker, James looks at the walker. 

Nathan sits James in the walker, adjust to a lower level so the baby can actually contact their sole with the floor. 

James stays unmoved, testing to hold himself. He hapilly jumps a little. 

Nathan holds the teddy a bit distant from the walker to encourage him to move forward. 

James feels his tiny feet contacting the floor, and goes to try a step. 

He moves slowly, hesitant as soon as he feels a feet not in contact with the floor he stops, so he ends up jumping again. 

James claps and cheer himself then shrugs.

They get James out of the walker and sit him on the couch with them as he plays with his toys.

“How’s been with Lizzie?” Paige asks Nathan. 

James leans on her side and she caress his fringe.

“We had mac and cheese, we baked the cake. She talked a lot about Ethan and asked me a lot about you, she was quite worried about Dwight” Nathan tells her. 

James shows his animal toy for him to play with aswell.

“About me? So you actually bake?” Paige asks him amused.

“Her words, you are the best teacher ever, she looks up to you, got the same pencils you have for classes. I used to bake muffins with my mom. She was hesitant I’d get burnt with the oven. Given that I not felt heat or cold at all for many years.” Nathan tells her tapping his feet on the floor.

“Oh, Charlotte was hesitant too. Since it takes me longer to notice temperature changes in that hand. I could be preparing a soup and not notice is getting too hot when is boiling so I can keep moving the spoon longer, then all of a sudden I’d feel the heat getting on my skin. So she feared I’d get burnt too. Well, she also feared my coordination, elbow flexibility, balance holding, to move around the pans and fries, or cutting stuff. I started helping with small tasks, like seasoning, preparing some desserts” Paige replies gesturing quite a lot.

They fall silent for a bit looking at a sleepy James.

“You brought the idea of a four layered ace cake?” Paige asks him intrigued, leaning closer.

“Almost the same layer as the flag, but not quite. She choose the ingredients: chocolate, white layer, blueberry jam.” Nathan replies.

“Almost a challenge to do a proper ace cake some other day. Good plan?” Paige asks him playfully. Nathan looks surprised.

“At my place? Come over whenever” Nathan tells her.

“I may hold you to that when we run out of pancakes or fancy ace cakes over here” Paige banters. 

James waves to the kitchen, he is hungry. Nathan serves his soup, going back to the couch.

 

“So, tell me more about that snack that goes with the chocolate, is a snack, right?” Paige asks him. He wonders why is she curious.

“Some have them for a snack, there are at fairs, bars, others have them after a hungover.” Nathan explains. 

Paige nods curiously, sitting James on her lap and feeding him soup. The baby likes the bites.

“After a hungover, uh?” Paige asks him curious.

“Not really my case. I had some. I rather not have them.” Nathan replies.

“Yeah, they say the head feels like full of heavy sand afterwards” Paige replies.

“I’ve seen people get themselves lost at the bottom of a scotch or worst. Frustration, desperation, disappointment, mistreatment, getting over something, can get one to very bad paths I rather not walk” Nathan replies caressing James’ cheek.

“Sorry if I poked the wrong way” Paige apologises.

“Is ok. There were moments I didn’t knew well how to cope with or handle some strong emotions or complex situations. But I learnt. Thankfully good people were there for me, and I letted myself get help.” Nathan replies unawaredly looking at his forearm. Paige notices.

“I didn’t knew you liked snow that much.” Paige brings a more cheerful topic.

“I liked snow before I lost touch. In fact it happened when I was on a sleigh with some classmates up the hill. I injured my shoulder so bad a classmate threw up as they saw it, I felt nothing. I was 7. Got a lot of other injuries, medical tests, singled out and picked on among my peers, pranks, gossip. I grew bored of that and unaware of some hazards. But past is past.” Nathan replies. 

Paige looks curiously at him, trying to read how he feels about it. 

James rubs his eyes. Nathan and Paige share a glance about James, she nods so he holds him up, gets his prefered tale and lays him on his crib while he reads him and she crochets. Mid tale James falls asleep. 

Nathan reads the printed questions, she passed him daily for if she missed some input. They fall in comfortable silence. After sunset he stands and approach her on the couch, he leans closer.

“The imprints should be finished. The set can be assambled by tomorrow.” Nathan tells her. He won’t come over? Paige wonders. 

“We got assigned a case to help with in Portland tomorrow. Dwight can help with the set if you want” Nathan explains her.

“I don’t think I’m that close with him” Paige comments undecided.

“I’m sure Lizzie will be glad to help with decorating”. Nathan points out. She nods smiling.

“I should get going. Stay warm.” Nathan tells her walking to the door, Cookie behind him. 

Paige walks beside him and before he opens the door she hugs him, he not expected that but gently places his hands on her back.

“Thank you. If I poked, I’m ...” Paige begins.

“No problem. That past is there, is part of me but doesn’t unfocus or condition my present.” Nathan tells her, gently holds her hand, she kisses his cheek again, they share a smile, then he leaves.

 

Friday, 2 march 2012

 

Nathan and Stan are gone to Portland early in the morning.

Apparently a havenite has been robbing there.

They frame where and when the rob happens. Nathan quickly notice the pattern, and somehow seems related to the busline, so they figure out it might be someone without a car, they filter that in the suspects database and get to five profiles. Analysing more details between the robs and the suspects they reduce it to one suspect. They plan how to catch the suspect.

During a break Stan is texting and giggling a lot to his phone, while Nathan has been taking snaps of different landmarks as they walk along the city and sending them to Paige along the morning. 

“You seem quite interested in the tourist landmarks” Stan points out.

“Paige’s mom is visiting for the semester break. She wants to do some tourism” Nathan tells him neutrally.

“So, you’ll be their guide?” Stan asks him matter of fact.

“I don’t know. I guess they’ll spend the week together seeing places” Nathan replies confused.

“What are you going to do that week then?” Stan asks him.

“What do you mean?.” Nathan asks him confused.

“I’m not saying is bad, on the contrary. But I don’t think you notice how involved in each other’s routine you both are.” Stan tells him walking in the Station.

What is that suppoused to mean? Nathan has his own routine, right?

\- - -

Paige awoke earlier than usual feeling tired. Head, nose, throat not feeling well. 

She considers to call in sick. She might be coming down with a high peaked cold or the flu. 

She was warm during the snow. 

She takes her strong but baby friendly prescripted meds to prevent fever and thankfully those kick in before classes so she gives it a go. 

Thankfully snow socks are not needed, roads and sidewalks are clear to use.

She’s received many landmark pictures but barely any text other than a relevant data about the landmark. Is he shuttingdown for some reason? He felt like he overshared?

After lunch the meds are wearing off and she is feeling spoonless to assamble the set. She feels a bit disappointed in herself. 

Since by then James was taking a nap, and main housekeeping was done for the day, laundry loaded, dishwasher half loaded, surfaces cleaned, she took a warm bath, and put on her pijamas.

She focus on James, staying well hydrated and lightly active crocheting while James is playing on the walker. 

She texted the PT group she can’t attend, Magnus tells her next week she has an appointment with the OT, also told Amelia which offered to come over if she needed something. 

The front door opens.

\- - -

“Good to see you. Everything fine in Portland?” Paige greets him with a smile but sounding tired. 

“Got the robber. How about over here?” Nathan asks her, waving at James.

“I think I’m coming down with a cold, but is fine.” Paige replies.

“Are you feverish?” Nathan asks her concerned as he approaches her.

“Is fine. I’m low on spoons since the cold is on high peak at the moment but I’m taking my meds, don’t worry are strong but baby friendly. I rather stay active.” Paige replies. Nathan nods.

“Go on, please. Assamble the set, then we talk about what to do or whatever.” Paige replies waving at him to go upstairs. Nathan looks doubtful, she gestures again and he goes upstairs.

He assambles the set, disassamble the crib in her bedroom and assamble it again in James’ bedroom. 

He places the pieces following her sketch, including the clock, coat rack and lamp.

The crib by the sunset wall, the bookcase by the wall near the door and the window, the drawer by the wall opposite to the window. Nathan is unsure where to set the nightstand. 

Paige walks in the room holding James.

“Undecided about the one nightstand?” Paige asks him amused. Nathan is confused and looks curiously at her 

“Same here. I considered a wooden chest for his toys, but the set had none of that, had bed bunk option instead. I guess for now makes more sense next to the drawer. When the bed is set, when he is older then it go there. Meanwhile his emergency stuff can be there. ” Paige explains. Nathan places the piece where she said.

“Everything in place. Do you like your bedroom?” Nathan says tickling James then holding him up.

“I hope he’ll be fine there tonight. He’s been sleeping in the living room those last days.” Paige says.

They go back to the living room. James jumping and playing with his toys in his walker, they sat on the couch.

\- - -

 

Nathan prepares a warm tea and honey for her, diced fruit for James and a juice for him.

“Have you thought which places you’ll show to your mom?” Nathan asks her.

“I barely had time to do some tourism myself. The places you sent me look nice.” Paige says unsure. Warming her hands on the cup.

“But you rather had seen it yourself first, right?” Nathan asks her guessing her unsaid words. She nods. 

“You have next week to visit them in the afternoon.” Nathan offers her.

“True. And what you’ll do? The week she is over here” Paige asks him curious, sipping her tea.

“I don’t know. Is she too much to handle?” Nathan asks her.

“A bit. I guess as she know I’m pandemisexual, she focus a lot on the romantic part.” Paige says with emphasis.

“Been there. Does she not get it or she not wants to?” Nathan asks her.

“A bit of both. I told her clear, still, you know.” Paige gestures with her hand.

“Up for a movie?” Nathan asks her. She nods. They play a cartoon movie with songs.

Mid movie while James babbles to the melodies, Paige fell asleep, her head leaning on his shoulder. When movie finishes, as he stops it she awakes.

“Sorry, I dozed off” Paige apologies.

“Is ok. Do whatever you have to do. You know that I’m here for you too.” Nathan tells her. She leans on his shoulder again and notice herself dozing off again. She should rest a bit, she knows he’d want to help and she welcomes that from him. Also she noticed he is self resourceful but keen to follow some instruction. Like at the beginning he wouldn’t walk in unless specifically being invited over.

“I’m taking a nap. Can you ...? You know his routine. Follow the charts”. Paige tells him glancing around and finally looking at James. He notices her sad while she caress James hair before going upstairs. He nods.

Nathan plays James playlist, while he, as per request, checks the chart. Looks like there’s not pending task right now.

The fact that she is quite methodical, leaving notes with priority colour coding helps to do things faster. Daily tasks and meal. Another on the fridge, grouping the expiring dates by different type of food.

The many notes reminds him when he had ones about temperature hazards for his ideopathic neuropathy. 

Over an hour later he prepares her a chicken soup.

He textes Sam he’s busy and ask them to check on Cookie.

Nathan goes to Paige’s room. He knocks. No answer, she might be asleep, so he opens the door.

“I made you soup” he says walking in. 

She is asleep. He checks her forehead for any sympton of fever since that worries her, she leans to the touch and slowly opens her eyes nodding.

“I’m spoonless, not feverish” Paige says sounding hoarse. He points at the soup, she nods and he passes her the bowl.

“Is James fine?” Paige ask concerned.

“He is fine. Playing his playlist. I’m following your chart, the usual routine.” Nathan replies.

“Thank you” she replies nodding.

“No need. Is fine. You need something?” Nathan tells her affectionatelly smiling at her.

“This energy draining cold to be over.” Paige replies tiredly.

“The sooner it progresses the sooner it’ll be over” He tries to comfort.

“I hope so. I wouldn’t like the whole week to be like that” Paige says looking apologetical.

She finishes the bowl and he goes back downstairs.

Sam update him about Cookie sending him a picture of Cookie playing in their garden with Roberto.

\- - -

 

He bathes James. The baby is playfully splashing water, emptying his toy bucket. He is going to love the beach in the summer. 

He dries him with a towel, get new nappies, the pijamas and combs his hair.

Now he notices the playfulness actually wetted his hair and his sleeves. Nathan removes his shirt, thankfully he was wearing a grey plaid cotton t-shirt underneath. 

They get in the living room, James back in his walker as Nathan prepares the baby’s dinner. Smashed vegetables and some rice.

Sam updates him about Cookie. A new picture now watching cartoons with Roberto and Ava.

Although the baby looks curiously at the empty space where Paige would sit on the couch to read, out of habit James waves to watch a movie, so they do while James has his dinner.

Dish finished, mid movie James falls asleep curled beside Nathan. Nathan out of habit goes to share a look with Paige although she is not there. Maybe Stan was right today.

Nathan gets James to his crib upstairs and stops by to check on Paige. She is asleep again, he sits on the bed. She lazily opens her eyes.

“You feel like eating something or prefer another soup?” Nathan asks her. 

She looks sleepily at him, pats his bare forearm, surprised to find out he has a tattoo.

“What happened to your shirt?” Paige asks him confused.

“Bathing James. He had dinner. Is asleep. I made some rice. You take your meds before dinner?” Nathan asks her.

“Before. Ok, some rice, better not have an empty stomach.” Paige agrees.

Nathan brings her the rice, a soup and passes her meds. She notices he’s folded her laundry and placed it on her chair. 

“Have you had dinner yourself?” Paige asks him.

“I had some snack but don’t worry about that.” Nathan tells her.

“Have some dinner yourself.” Paige waves him to go downstairs.

Nathan serves his meal and really the living room feels quite empty with both upstairs. 

Nathan cleans up the kitchen and living room.

\- - -

Finishing Charlotte is calling. Nathan considers to let it go to voicemail but might be is important so he goes to her room with the phone. Knocks and walks in.

“Not to bother but your mom is calling”. Nathan passes her the phone going to walk out. 

Paige gestures him waving her hand, which he read as to, stay?. Clumsily Paige puts it on speaker.

“Hi mom. How’s been your week?” Paige asks her trying to not sound tired. Nathan looks undecided, Paige pats beside her.

“Have I interrupted something? Where you finally on a date? Took you long to pick up” Charlotte welcomes her with. 

Paige eyerolls. Nathan smiles to himself, and sits beside her, looking knowingly at her eyerolling.

“You are on speaker. I was busy being a teacher and a single mom, mom.” Paige replies, her hand on her hair.

“You know fancy or not, one can always fit a date here or there along the week.” Charlotte says. Paige counts two.

“Are you seeing someone yourself?” Paige asks her back. Nathan looks amused.

“Not right now. But if I were your age” Charlotte replies. Paige counts three.

“I didn’t knew dating had an expiring day or was a matter of age.” Paige rebuts.

“You know what I mean. How’s been your week?” Charlotte asks. 

Paige rests her hand on the blanket.

“School wants I give the talk next semester to all the students. The police got the reported one. Most kids are reading. I’ve been complimented for my work. How’s been your week?” Paige tells her enthusiastically.

“Congrats on your school projects, I knew you could. Great he is taken to justice. The talk? Aren’t you the literature teacher? Why would you give the sex ed talk to all them?” Charlotte asks confused.

“The talk I gave them after the fight. About infatuation. That talk. How’s been your week?” Paige asks her. 

Her fingers tapping beside his palm.

“I don’t know why that talk is not given while the other talk. My week at the lab has been the same old, you know food testing for alergens. But Science got me there. Anyways, how’s my grandson?” Charlotte asks her cheerfully. Nathan got curious about the lab.

“He is asleep. Yesterday he saw snowing, held a snowflake. He got his own bedroom. We painted him a sunset and the rest green, seaside themed. He has started using the walker, he jumps. He is looking forward to the many toys you’ll spoil him with” Paige tells her. 

Nathan smiles to the last part.

“We? So, you are seeing someone! Who? Have you told me about? Are you in one of those multiple dating commitments, polysomething?” Charlotte replies louder. Paige counts four with her fingers.

“Polyamory, poly fidelity, triad, relationship hierarchy, egality, anarchy.” Nathan looks at her curious 

“But no, mom. We, as in my friends here. Everyone helped with a little something” Paige replies. 

Her fingers tap beside his palm. 

“You know quite the lingo to not be in one yourself. The day you say a boy or girl attached to friend I’d invite both to a fancy something” Charlotte replies. Paige expressively counts five.

“Is called being informed. About your week here, what would you rather visit? Seaside, big cities?” Paige asks her.

“Depends” Charlotte replies.

“On what? Are you coming by plane? Where do we pick you up?” Paige asks her. 

Her elbow on her knee, her legs crossed, her hand on her forehead. Nathan gently rest his palm on her back.

“I like roadtrips. We? See, you are seeing someone but you not want to tell me. I have good memory, James said dada to someone. Why you not present me to the lucky guy?” Charlotte insists. 

Paige blushes and rubs her temple. Paige mouths six.

“Mom, seriously. If I am seeing someone or not, what relationship it is, when or if I present them to who, is my business. Now, about your week over here” Paige replies sounding hoarse.

“Ok, give me the full tourist route. But I want to know your friends and James’ friends.” Charlotte says curiously. 

Nathan passes her the glass of water.

“I guess you’ll meet them along the week. Both big cities in the morning and seaside after lunch it is then.” Paige concludes sounding still hoarse.

“Are you sick? You sound hoarse” Charlotte asks her concerned.

“Your teasing about you know what stresses me” Paige tells her. 

Nathan looks concerned at her.

“Seriously. Are you feverish? Doctor said is dangerous you’ll get feverish. Go to ER if you do. Do you have someone there to look after you?” Charlotte asks her concerned.

“Good nth attempt to figure out if I’m dating someone” Paige replies sarcastically.

“Paige Cross, I’m being serious. Don’t make me show up there first thing tomorrow.” Charlotte says determined.

“There’s someone looking after me.” Paige concedes after a while, shily glancing at Nathan.

“Pass them over” Charlotte orders. 

Paige rubs her temple again and sighs. Nathan pats her back.

“Mom, there’s no need. I assure I’m not alone” Paige replies as calmly as possible.

“Pass them over” Charlotte insists. 

Paige eyerolling passes the phone to Nathan. He looks confused at her, she nods at him. 

“Hello?” Nathan asks confused, sounding unsure. 

Paige shrugs surprised, just that?

“Look after her until she’s recovered.” Charlotte orders determined.

“Ok.” Nathan replies as determined. 

Paige gives him a shocked look and signs “why?”

“Thank you, dadaist. Looking forward to meet you” Charlotte says amused. 

Paige gets the phone but Charlotte has ended the call. Nathan is confused and blushing. Paige looks frustrated.

\- -   
Reading warning: internalised ableism  
\- -

 

Both lay on the bed side to side.

“See, she is much to handle level dropping dating hints six times in a conversation” Paige says and sighs, her hair waving.

“I get that. Come on, try to relax.” Nathan tells her concerned.

Paige sighs in frustration. Her head on her pillow, her palm under her cheek, looking at him. He is mirroring her.

“I don’t know how right now. What would you do?” Paige tells him.

“Stim it out?” Nathan replies sounding questioningly. 

She briefly has a small smile but looks undecided.

“I not have such playlist ready” she weakly banters.

“Reading. Do I read you something?” Nathan offers her. She looks confused at him. 

“It can help to refocus and not overthink” Nathan explains.

Paige rolls silently opposite to him. Nathan leans closer, his hand hesitantly on her forearm, trying to figure out how to emotionally help her.

“You rather talk instead?” Nathan offers her.

“Talk? What about?” Paige asks him confused.

“Something else? A nice memory? Goals ahead? About what you need, what are you thinking, how are you feeling” Nathan offers.

“I have more than I need or want well covered. Maybe that is why I am feeling a bit overwhelmed to think about any of that” Paige replies. 

Nathan is confused. What does she mean with that? They fall silent. He is still concerned about her sad glance earlier, and being honest he rather ask than overthink. 

Paige knows she should talk, but doesn’t know well how, her mind right now is overthinking those last days, about her dad, her mom, her own motherhood, their this, bringing up insecurities, she is indeed feeling emotionally overwhelmed. 

She has feelings for him, she is not sure he has them back. 

She has felt suddenly spoonless today, and it makes her feel quite bad emotionally, makes her fear she is trying to handle more than she actually can, that everything might come downhill.

“You looked at James quite sad and apologetical, can you tell me why?” Nathan carefully ask her. 

His chin over her shoulder. His chest a palm to her back. She denies.

“Did I overstepped? Did I do something that made you feel bad?” Nathan asks concerned and apologetical.

“No, I asked you. You did the right thing.” Paige rolls to be front to front, gently pats his cheek, looks at his concerned eyes, then rolls opposite him again “I don’t think you’ll understand” Paige tells him curling in herself.

“Give it a try, tell me.” Nathan says, his hand on her forearm. 

She takes a deep breath.

“When he was born, so tiny, lively, full of a promising future and was in my arms, even before that, I worried for the day it may happen” Paige tells him.

“What may happen?” Nathan asks her concerned.

“Being spoonless this afternoon, having to delegate just made me think of that. The day I may could not handle him. He’d get too big, too heavy, still being barely a toddler and I’ll can’t hold him as other parents do. And I fear he’ll notice, he’ll feel rejected, conditioned, uncared, unloved. And I know I should be happy he is achieving so many milestones already, and I am, but a tiny part feels insecure, because I have not the same reference. I barely crawled, took me longer to walk, and I see in a few months ahead he’ll walk by himself, and I don’t know why I feel like that, because I know I shouldn’t” Paige tells him sadly. 

Nathan is not sure how to comfort her, so he cuddles her, she holds his hand.

“He knows you care and love him. He notices the many things you do for him, the wonderful things you do. For you, for him, for your students, for your friends. Is ok to feel insecure at times, just don’t let it sink and hold you back, don’t carry that feeling on your back by yourself, you are not alone. You can tell me, I understand.” His chin gently over her shoulder, he tries to comfort her. 

Her eyes closed hearing him. She rolls to his side and rests her head on his shoulder. Her hand holding his. She looks at him.

“You truly think that?” She asks him, glancing at his eyes.

“As I’m sure he does too, I truly notice the wonderful things you do. I understand that fear. Now, do you want to talk further about it? I can read you James’ current favourite tale with his favourite voices.” Nathan tells her playfully, making her smile.

“Is quite late.” She tells him, noticing is night outside.

“I’m off work tomorrow. The lab ordered me to look after until you feel better.” Nathan tells her playfully.

“Are you going to call my mom the lab now?” Paige asks him pretending to be offended.

“She calls me dadaist.” Nathan banters.

“Are you seriously staying over? Per her orders?” Paige asks him curiously, glancing at his cotton t-shirt. She emphasises the last question in a tone he doesn’t get clear if is good or bad.

“I had not thought about that. Not per her orders. You need me to stay, you need me to go?” Nathan asks her. She looks undecided.

“You are a good delegate, respect my orders, followed his routine. If you need to go, go” Paige offer him, unsure on the last part.

“You and your mom are concerned you get high fever. What if you do during the night?” Nathan asks concerned.

“That’s a good point. Ok, stay here, get under the blanket.” Paige tells him.

Nathan gets under the blanket. She is pensive. They fall silent. She turns to the side again, still at a palm of distance, his hand forward resting on the mattres just behind her back.

“Sorry. The cold is getting the worst of me. Some spoonless days are” Paige weakly says.

“Like being overwhelmingly on the spotlight?” Nathan offers, she nods.

“Is making me overthink quite a lot.” Paige tells him.

“What about?” Nathan asks her.

“I rather talk about that some other time. Thank you, but I think might be better to try to get some sleep. Night” Paige tells him turning off the light. 

Nathan goes to roll to the other side, but she gently holds his wrist and places his hand on her shoulder, silently asking for a massage.

“You could directly ask” Nathan tells her close to her temple in a tone she hadn’t heard him before.

“And miss you guessing?” Paige banters. 

He softly massages her shoulder blade until both fall asleep.


End file.
